What to do when someone comes back after ghosting you for two years?

[braeden]

hello. i have been contemplating on what i should do regarding this issue. so long story short, we've been bestfriends for years after finishing high school. we went our separate ways but still keep close contact with each other. i realised that i like him more than friends four years ago, but i didnt make any move since he has a girlfriend and i respect their relationship. but eventually we fall apart and he stopped texting me two years ago. i have already moving on with my life until he sent a friend request on facebook the other day (it was my old acc that i reactivated back) and i accepted it after delaying it for a few days. i sent him a message "oh you're alive?" and he enthusiastically replied back with "YES I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR U FOR AGES I MISSED YOU" then he proceeded with giving his number to me. now i was taken aback with how much enthusiasm his reply was and dont know how to act. so i gave him my number (lmao) and he said he will text me later. okay now my old feelings are starting to resurface and i am so freaking anxious because its been two days since he said that he would text me and theres no text from so far ugh

should i text him first? i dont want to sound o eager and put myself in position where i could get hurt because of some false hope that we can start something here. and it doesnt help that i dont know about his current relationship status either. should i just wait? what is the smart action to be taken here? i havent date in so long so yes i am freaking clueless..

p.s. also i am not an english speaker so please forgive any grammar mistakes that i made •᷄⌓•᷅

[GeorgiaPeach1]

I actually have respect for this guy. He didn't ghost you at all. He could probably tell you had feelings, and didn't want to risk or disrespect his relationship. He could be single now. I would wait for him to contact you first, then you can find out for sure.

[Miss Spider]

xxxxxx

 

Edited May 21, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, braeden said:

he enthusiastically replied back with "YES I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR U FOR AGES I MISSED YOU" then he proceeded with giving his number to me.

Whenever someone from the past suddenly appears, particularly with this much fervor, it's for their own agenda.

Most likely he just got dumped/divorced and is looking for company/sex.

This phenomenon is called "backtracking through the black book".

Of course he will smother you with flattery etc. until he finally admits he just got out of a relationship, or whatever his agenda is.

Tread carefully and find out what's up with him.

Edited May 21, 2021 by Wiseman2

[poppyfields]

My dad reconnected with a woman from college many years later, fell in love and married her a year later..

It's not uncommon to circle back to an old interest after a break up or when you're in a better place mentally and emotionally.

Happens all the time, it's not necessarily a bad thing.... although sometimes it can be but it's not black and white.

OP, my advice is do nothing right now but stay open to all possibilities.

He has your number, said he'd be in touch.

Shouid he contact you, see how you feel then... try to stay relaxed about it, stay positive.

 

 

 

Edited May 22, 2021 by poppyfields

[jspice]

He didn’t really ghost you. You lost contact but he was also with someone. 
 

That said, I agree that he’s probably just out of a relationship or feeling lonely or whatever. 
 

Do NOT contact him first. He has your number. See what his intentions are. 

[Miss Spider]

Yea with these particular circumstances, I think it’s okay to get back in touch. I mean I would , but I wouldn’t get bitter about these  sort of things. If you guys had been in a srs relationship and he actually ghosted,  I’d say otherwise, but people lose touch and reconnect all the time 

[glows]

He could have even been drunk, high, etc. None of this might have anything to do with you or his relationship status or whether he's remotely interested. What exactly is sexy, alluring or interesting about a random capslock message on fb?

Unless he actually asks you out on a date or shows more interest, count this as something you can do without. Don't accept any confusion or confused individuals in your life. You deserve better than that.