Gottigotten Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 To be honest I don’t even know how this happened. Where it started. Why it started. Me and my ex have were together for 6 months. My longest relationship my first love. She was different from every other girl. She was perfect. I would say about 5 and a half months in I started having family problems. I had these problems before constantly fighting with my mom her talking bad to me. My girlfriend was there for me as I was for her. She has depression I was there for her. I just wanted to make her feel loved. Well 5 and a half months in I started not feeling anything towards her. Then one day I got into a big fight with my mom. I was taken from her. Then I moved in with my grandma for two weeks and came back to my moms and I just felt nothing at all towards her. I would just look at her at feel nothing. But we would get along and laugh as always. I just couldn’t picture that future with her. But everyday I would just keep trying to get this feeling back but I’m never came. I lost feelings for her. Today we went to the park and just talked. She wants to just be friends. It turns out she was feeling the same way. There’s 3 things I just can’t stop wondering. Why did I lose feelings? Why did I barely cry when she broke up with me? And why have a felt like a completely different person the past month I feel empty. No thoughts no feelings Barry being able to cry. Does someone know why this is happening why have I felt this way?
Gaeta Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 It happens when the love is not built on something solid. The first 6 months is what we call the honeymoon phase, the other person makes us feel excited but it's not really about them yet, it's being in love with love really. Then after that honeymoon phase we make a few realization. Sometimes we realize our feelings were not deep as we thought or we realize the opposite, we are developping something deep and solid toward that person. There is nothing to wonder about, it's how it is. I have divorced after 15 years together and did not shed a tear, and after that I was completely broken by a man I dated 6 months. Love is complicated, and what we feel depends on so many variables. You've lost those feelings, accept it and move on. One day you'll meet someone and those feelings will last for longer, years, even forever.
ShyViolet Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 The first few months of a relationship are filled with infatuation, with intense brain chemicals flying around. It's the honeymoon stage. Some people refer to it as "New Relationship Energy." You are not thinking straight during this time. You are high on those endorphins. It's all infatuation and excitement. The human brain can't sustain that forever. By definition it lasts a limited time, and then the newness wears off. The brain can't keep producing those chemicals forever that get you "high" off the person. So once the newness wears off and the honeymoon stage is over, all you are left with are the genuine feelings that have developed for the person. Or maybe they haven't developed. In which case, you're left with nothing and the relationship falls apart. This is a completely normal and predictable course of a relationship. It's the oldest story in the book. It will happen with most relationships you have.
Calmandfocused Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 Reading between the lines and the sudden stop/ start of your feelings, I’m wondering if you have developed depression? Do you feel unenthused and emotionless regarding everything in life or is it just her? If it is just her you may have just come to the realisation that you are simply not compatible
Author Gottigotten Posted May 21, 2021 Author Posted May 21, 2021 1 hour ago, Calmandfocused said: Reading between the lines and the sudden stop/ start of your feelings, I’m wondering if you have developed depression? Do you feel unenthused and emotionless regarding everything in life or is it just her? If it is just her you may have just come to the realisation that you are simply not compatible It’s like some things like when I’m around my friends and just people I’m cool. But sometimes I feel depressed. Ifs just like a I don’t know thing.
Author Gottigotten Posted May 21, 2021 Author Posted May 21, 2021 2 hours ago, ShyViolet said: The first few months of a relationship are filled with infatuation, with intense brain chemicals flying around. It's the honeymoon stage. Some people refer to it as "New Relationship Energy." You are not thinking straight during this time. You are high on those endorphins. It's all infatuation and excitement. The human brain can't sustain that forever. By definition it lasts a limited time, and then the newness wears off. The brain can't keep producing those chemicals forever that get you "high" off the person. So once the newness wears off and the honeymoon stage is over, all you are left with are the genuine feelings that have developed for the person. Or maybe they haven't developed. In which case, you're left with nothing and the relationship falls apart. This is a completely normal and predictable course of a relationship. It's the oldest story in the book. It will happen with most relationships you have. The thing that just has me confused is the honeymoon phase ended a long time ago. There were genuine feelings. It was perfect. But it just left eventually. Like I said I still get along with her I could talk to her all day.
ShyViolet Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 Just now, Gottigotten said: The thing that just has me confused is the honeymoon phase ended a long time ago. There were genuine feelings. It was perfect. But it just left eventually. Like I said I still get along with her I could talk to her all day. First of all, there's no such thing as a "perfect" relationship or a perfect person. You had your rose-colored glasses on. You said this was your first love; I can tell. In the real world everyone has flaws and relationships between people are messy, even when they are crazy about each other. There is nothing wrong with the fact that your feelings towards her changed. You are human and you have feelings that aren't set in stone. It sounds like now your relationship with her has transitioned to more of a friendship. That is OKAY. It happens to all of us. 1
Author Gottigotten Posted May 21, 2021 Author Posted May 21, 2021 2 minutes ago, ShyViolet said: First of all, there's no such thing as a "perfect" relationship or a perfect person. You had your rose-colored glasses on. You said this was your first love; I can tell. In the real world everyone has flaws and relationships between people are messy, even when they are crazy about each other. There is nothing wrong with the fact that your feelings towards her changed. You are human and you have feelings that aren't set in stone. It sounds like now your relationship with her has transitioned to more of a friendship. That is OKAY. It happens to all of us. Okay I’m just confused with myself because I want to get back with her. I have been going through our memories all day.
ShyViolet Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 8 minutes ago, Gottigotten said: Okay I’m just confused with myself because I want to get back with her. I have been going through our memories all day. At least wait; don't get back with her now or anytime soon. You are confused and not sure what you really want. It wouldn't be fair to her to keep going back and forth, to play with her emotions. Wait and sort your feelings out. Your true feelings will become more clear with time. Didn't you say that she told you that she "wants to be just friends" anyway? So it sounds like this relationship has run its course and you are just having a hard time dealing with that.
Author Gottigotten Posted May 21, 2021 Author Posted May 21, 2021 1 minute ago, ShyViolet said: At least wait; don't get back with her now or anytime soon. You are confused and not sure what you really want. It wouldn't be fair to her to keep going back and forth, to play with her emotions. Wait and sort your feelings out. Your true feelings will become more clear with time. Didn't you say that she told you that she "wants to be just friends" anyway? So it sounds like this relationship has run its course and you are just having a hard time dealing with that. She said she want to work on our selves and eventually get back together with time. U wasn’t treating her right and I have anger issues and her problems with depression. She says “we need to work on our selves and with time we will try again because if we aren’t mean to be it will happen.”
d0nnivain Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 You sound young. You also have a tumultuous life being shuffled between your mom & your grandmother. It's hard to form lasting romantic relationships when your parental bonds are not solid. When we're young & learning about romance, especially in the early years -- you said she was your 1st love -- things cycle through quickly. So 6 months was the life span of this relationship. That is a respectable length but it's run it's course Her statement that you both need time to work on yourselves is accurate. You both have growing & maturing to do but you aren't necessarily going to do it together. Being "friends" at this stage is more about not causing a scene & not hating each other when you see each other at school or around the neighborhood. It does not mean you actually stay in touch. Do not hold out hope you will reconcile.
Ami1uwant Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 4 hours ago, Gaeta said: It happens when the love is not built on something solid. The first 6 months is what we call the honeymoon phase, the other person makes us feel excited but it's not really about them yet, it's being in love with love really. Then after that honeymoon phase we make a few realization. Sometimes we realize our feelings were not deep as we thought or we realize the opposite, we are developping something deep and solid toward that person. There is nothing to wonder about, it's how it is. I have divorced after 15 years together and did not shed a tear, and after that I was completely broken by a man I dated 6 months. Love is complicated, and what we feel depends on so many variables. You've lost those feelings, accept it and move on. One day you'll meet someone and those feelings will last for longer, years, even forever. Also... the first few months you may be on your best behavior. After 6 months your real self emerges. You might have shown interest in something they liked but you aren’t as into it as them. It starts to show now. you need to learn to separate physical attraction from personality/emotional attraction.
Miss Spider Posted May 21, 2021 Posted May 21, 2021 (edited) Because people fall out of love. It happens all the time. They lose interest, they change, the other person changes, they grow apart, they have too many disagreements, fight too much etc. People want to say true love is forever and all that flowery stuff, and don’t get me wrong, it can be. But it isn’t always . Doesn’t mean it wasn’t love and a meaningful growing experience Edited May 21, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Wiseman2 Posted May 22, 2021 Posted May 22, 2021 On 5/20/2021 at 10:04 PM, Gottigotten said: one day I got into a big fight with my mom. I was taken from her. Are you under 18? What do you mean by "taken from her"? It seems you need to get some family counseling. Where is your father? Ask a trusted adult or guardian to take you to a doctor to discuss what's happening at home. Whatever you tell a doctor is confidential, including whatever violence is happening at home.
smackie9 Posted May 22, 2021 Posted May 22, 2021 Dude nothing is forever. You were in the moment, and it will wear off. This won't be your last, you will continue on having other relationships. Some will be bad, and some good, some won't last, some will. It's just life and how biologically/psychologically we work.
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