First wife still bitter after almost 20 years not together

[mark clemson]

15 hours ago, Woggle said:

 She said if there were any justice in this world I would not have the life I had

"Justice in the world" is actually a much bigger ask than the people mentioning tend to realize. Particularly the ones with strong tendencies to screw up their own lives.

[Taramere]

16 hours ago, mark clemson said:

"Justice in the world" is actually a much bigger ask than the people mentioning tend to realize. Particularly the ones with strong tendencies to screw up their own lives.

Very true. I know I harp on about vexatious litigants a bit, but anybody who's been on the other side of a case from one will know just how surreal that experience is the first time you encounter it.  They're often people who have, at some point, suffered a genuine injustice...and became so consumed with the business of trying to get justice that it eats them up and destroys them. Any one of us could go down that path if the injustice hit us at a time when we were at our angriest and most vulnerable.   

Sometimes walking away from an injustice takes far more strength and discipline than it takes to decide "I'm going to stay here and slay this dragon".    Especially in a world where becoming consumed with a fight for justice is constantly validated for political reasons, and glamorised in films that portray the justice fighter in the most noble and righteous of lights.  Fighting that dragon of injustice can easily pull out the worst as well as the best in people...but the adrenalin of the fight and the egotistical element of "I'm fighting for truth and justice" tends to blind people to their own worst elements in these situations.

[Woggle]

The thing is that despite everything that happened if she did stay clean and actually found success and happiness in life I would be glad for her. Being an angry and vindictive person just gets you nowhere in life. I would still want nothing to do with her but I don't get mad at another person's fortune. Contrast that with her being angry at the fact that I live good life and somehow I have something I don't deserve at her expense. I am not the one who steered her on the path she took. 

Anyway enough dwelling on it because that chapter of my life is closed.

[Miss Spider]

I feel like this is gonna be my 3rd ex...they’re just bitter, vindictive people that don’t want to take accountability, rather play victim. Nothing you can do. I suppose feel flattered that you’re still relevant to them almosr 20 yrs later  

[Woggle]

Now she is going around telling people that my current wife was my mistress during our first marriage. I didn't even meet her until two years after the divorce was final. 

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Woggle said:

Now she is going around telling people that my current wife was my mistress during our first marriage

What people?  Do you have kids in common? Who cares what she thinks or gossips about? It's ages ago and her opinion is simply crazy.

[basil67]

If you ditch those who choose to be in contact with her, none of this will be an issue for you in future

Edited April 27, 2022 by basil67

[mark clemson]

Just provide the correct and accurate facts for them and point out that she apparently thinks it's fine to spout invented facts at them to make you look bad. That should clarify matters for the people she is telling these things to. If they choose to believe her and not you, you may need to drop them from your social group, which would be a shame, but c'est la vie.

[glows]

18 hours ago, Woggle said:

Now she is going around telling people that my current wife was my mistress during our first marriage. I didn't even meet her until two years after the divorce was final. 

Ignore it. You know that saying: great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.

Also reconsider this group of people you keep getting this unwanted feedback from. 

[vla1120]

You know the truth and when it comes to what other people think of her lies, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. 

[Woggle]

It actually doesn't bother me much but I am astounded at how all these accusations have nothing whatsoever top do with reality.

[Woggle]

I am happy because from what I hear she consulted a lawyer about retroactively suing me for the alimony I supposedly owe her and she can't because she remarried. Now maybe I can finally move on and wash my hands of the whole saga.

[vla1120]

1 hour ago, Woggle said:

I am happy because from what I hear she consulted a lawyer about retroactively suing me for the alimony I supposedly owe her and she can't because she remarried. Now maybe I can finally move on and wash my hands of the whole saga.

That's good news. She should invest as much time in her marriage as she does trying to get back at you. I can only imagine her new husband is thrilled with her obsession with you.

[Woggle]

6 hours ago, vla1120 said:

That's good news. She should invest as much time in her marriage as she does trying to get back at you. I can only imagine her new husband is thrilled with her obsession with you.

I hope he knows what he has gotten himself into.

I would love to move on but when I hear that she is consulting lawyers and hiring people to try and find out where I live I admit it does make me antsy.

I don't know if she is still on drugs or not but she feels that she must seek justice against me for having wronged her.

[giotto]

Wow, after all these years you are still entangled in this!