Author HopefullyLove Posted May 21, 2021 Author Posted May 21, 2021 7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Given all of this, I would be asking yourself why you even continued communicating with this man. It would be wise to reflect on your standards, HopefullyLove. I would dropped this weirdo like a hot potato the moment I learned about all of the above. Why didn't you? I was making excuses for his behavior in a way, I kept telling myself things like "well, you know he is going through...." Then it was the height of the pandemic, so part of me did not want to be "all in" because I did have reservations, so I should have honored my feelings. When he hung up on me after me telling him no I should have cut all ties, when he called incessantly to me, it matched his story of being single, I mean what wife would allow her husband on the phone hours at a time with another woman? I am doing some reflecting for sure, I don't want to entertain anyone like this again, and I definitely want to be more intentional going forward. I could have ended this wreck sooner... Also, he was just bombarding me with attention and it was overwhelming so I lost my footing so to speak, I can think now with more clarity, once his mask slipped, I was thinking of how to ease out of the relationship, Wanted to do it on my terms, so I know that is part of it.
Author HopefullyLove Posted May 21, 2021 Author Posted May 21, 2021 6 hours ago, elaine567 said: I think it is easy to get caught up in the dysfunction, especially if there is a very rational and reasonable case made for acting the way he does. Dysfunctional people can be very clever and manipulative, they can persuade and cajole perfectly normal people into accepting a view of the world that is skewed and twisted. "Love" is often their accomplice, "love" can make fools out of even the most sane of us. When I met him, our first conversation was him telling me his mother was terminally ill, I look back now and see he used that to gain empathy from me, I lost my mother many moons ago, and you are so right, he is very manipulative, I thought he was a good man and good single father,...eventually I learned he had problems at work, scam lawsuits, getting people fired, his ego is so fragile he took me disagreeing with him about a film or other stance as going against him, he was a lot emotionally, I felt zapped of energy a lot of times.
Author HopefullyLove Posted May 21, 2021 Author Posted May 21, 2021 6 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Yes, of course. I would like hear from OP herself what attracted her to him. I thought he was funny, I met him online so I used to be a regular on his social media, so that is how we met, I really loved how he was with his daughter, he seemed very caring, he seemed like a good enough person, he wasn't my type physically, but I was telling myself at almost 40 perhaps that needs to go out of the window, we had some surface level similarities, but the way he operates in the world, is totally opposite of me, he doesn't have morals. Once I started to search his name on social media I began to see a lot of negative things about him, he told me why would I watch people trashing him, now I know why, he has one friend in his life but most people don't say anything good about him, in retrospect, I should have done more research and I could have judged him by that alone, but I literally got caught up. I did like the attention of him calling and texting, my exes rarely did, but he was lovebombing me, I did not even know what that was, so I have been working with a therapist to help me work out my issues. I came here because my appointment is a week out and I was so in my feelings I needed someone to talk to about this. I feel embarrassed about the situation because I consider myself a caring person, I feel like my kindness was looked at as a weakness and again he gets to go on his merry way causing destruction and acting like nothing happened.
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