Marcos Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 Hello everyone, i met this girl 3 months ago, both 29, and we started dating after the first conversation we had on instagram, literally 6 hours later. We had a great connection and started to meet once per week and texting almost everyday. After our last date (2 weeks ago) we were texting and she disappeared. After two days I did text again, I thought everything was ok, but after few messages she did not answer again. I called her out after a week of silence, asking if everything was ok, and she told me she was just very busy and had some problems at work. I told her that we could meet the day later to talk about this (but it did sound like a vague excuse to me). The day later she told me she had to leave the city to meet her family. I was ok with that but also I was pretty sure no one is TOO BUSY to text me for a week, so I decided to keep calm and wait for her move. Now, it is a week she does not text me. I don't want to text her too, because I was clear I did not like her disappearing and I already tried to see if everything was ok (and she told me it was not about us). I don't mind texting everyday, but I assume if you don't text me in a week you just don't want to date again. So, what do you suggest me to do? I am really sorry for my English, but it is like 4 months I live in the US. Thanks
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 Leave the ball in her court but move on to someone more responsive
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 20 minutes ago, Marcos said: After our last date 2 weeks ago we were texting and she disappeared. . The day later she told me she had to leave the city to meet her family. Sorry to hear this. Was she on/off with a BF back home?
Author Marcos Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Sorry to hear this. Was she on/off with a BF back home? No, she had her last relationship two years ago and he now lives in an other country. 19 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Leave the ball in her court but move on to someone more responsive Yeah this is what I am doing, I mean I already asked you if everything was ok, can't make more than this. 1 1
smackie9 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) Yup get the hint she's moving on. It's a no brainer she's avoiding you. Ditch her and date other women. Her EX living in another country could be complete BS. Edited May 19, 2021 by smackie9 2
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 Is the person you went on a date within responding to you in a reasonable ie <24 hour timeframe ———>no you are not being ghosted. Is the person not responding to you ———> yes you are being ghosted
Author Marcos Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, smackie9 said: Yup get the hint she's moving on. It's a no brainer she's avoiding you. Ditch her and date other women. Her EX living in another country could be complete BS. Thanks. I m pretty sure he lives in another country, cause he is a foreign too and I did watch his IG. 3 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: s the person not responding to you ———> yes you are being ghosted Yeah, thanks. I mean, she respond to me if I text, but she totally disappears after few messages and also she is back in town and did not try to contact me or see me again. The last time she texted me was to told me she was going to meet her family, but I think she did it only because we should have met on that day and maybe disappearing was too much. We talked for a little but the conversation was so SLOW I preferred to tell her I was busy (was working), and then she never texted me again (1 week today). I already know I have to move on, but I also ask to myself what kind of human being can disappear like this after 3 months of dating? Dude just get your s*** together and tell me you don't want to date me again to be honest I was thinking about texting her something like "Hey there, hope you are ok, I think you probably are not able to manage difficult conversations, but ghosting sucks too. goodbye" but I think it could be useless. Edited May 19, 2021 by Marcos
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 18 minutes ago, Marcos said: Thanks. I m pretty sure he lives in another country, cause he is a foreign too and I did watch his IG. Yeah, thanks. I mean, she respond to me if I text, but she totally disappears after few messages and also she is back in town and did not try to contact me or see me again. The last time she texted me was to told me she was going to meet her family, but I think she did it only because we should have met on that day and maybe disappearing was too much. We talked for a little but the conversation was so SLOW I preferred to tell her I was busy (was working), and then she never texted me again (1 week today). I already know I have to move on, but I also ask to myself what kind of human being can disappear like this after 3 months of dating? Dude just get your s*** together and tell me you don't want to date me again to be honest I was thinking about texting her something like "Hey there, hope you are ok, I think you probably are not able to manage difficult conversations, but ghosting sucks too. goodbye" but I think it could be useless. It’s a slow fade. She’s mostly not interested but kind of .. sorry she doesn’t have her S*** together she’s probably a bit of a coward 1
norealusername Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 Sounds like she's no longer interested for whatever reason. There really isn't anything you can do about it. I guess she can't handle talking about it. You're better off without her if this is how she treats people.
dramafreezone Posted May 20, 2021 Posted May 20, 2021 7 hours ago, Marcos said: Hello everyone, i met this girl 3 months ago, both 29, and we started dating after the first conversation we had on instagram, literally 6 hours later. We had a great connection and started to meet once per week and texting almost everyday. After our last date (2 weeks ago) we were texting and she disappeared. After two days I did text again, I thought everything was ok, but after few messages she did not answer again. I called her out after a week of silence, asking if everything was ok, and she told me she was just very busy and had some problems at work. I told her that we could meet the day later to talk about this (but it did sound like a vague excuse to me). The day later she told me she had to leave the city to meet her family. I was ok with that but also I was pretty sure no one is TOO BUSY to text me for a week, so I decided to keep calm and wait for her move. Now, it is a week she does not text me. I don't want to text her too, because I was clear I did not like her disappearing and I already tried to see if everything was ok (and she told me it was not about us). I don't mind texting everyday, but I assume if you don't text me in a week you just don't want to date again. So, what do you suggest me to do? I am really sorry for my English, but it is like 4 months I live in the US. Thanks Just forget about her. She lost interest. For what reason, who knows?
FudgeSwirl Posted May 20, 2021 Posted May 20, 2021 In order for it to be ghosting, she would have to completely cut contact with you and be no longer responsive. Since she will eventually respond if you text, it's obvious she isn't ghosting but it sounds like she does not want the type of relationship you were anticipating whether because of her lack of interest or because she has way too much going on. Either way, you deserve someone who is more committed. Life gets hectic, but if someone is romantically interested in someone else that person will stay in contact and at least make plans even if they have to be over a week away. By the way, you do not have to apologize for your English at all. You sound like a native.
TrueGuy Posted May 20, 2021 Posted May 20, 2021 (edited) 14 hours ago, Marcos said: Hello everyone, Quote i met this girl 3 months ago, both 29, and we started dating after the first conversation we had on instagram, literally 6 hours later. I like this. Your job is to get these online prospects out on the first date as quick as possible. You want to get her on a Starbucks coffee date for 40-45 minutes and see if you two vibe; see if she laughs at your corny humor; see if she touches your hand or arm when you say something funny or amusing; see if she does a lot of the talking(70-80%). Quote We had a great connection and started to meet once per week and texting almost everyday. After our last date (2 weeks ago) we were texting and she disappeared. After two days I did text again, I thought everything was ok, but after few messages she did not answer again. How do you know that you both had a great connection? You had the great connection, while her romantic attraction level is tanking or is at 0 out of 10. Ok, so you went on a date a week, that's great. While you are in the beginning phase of dating it's once per week. When she become officially the girlfriend, you can bump it up to two times per week. Lastly, stop the daily texting and talking on the phone, except to set up the next date. Because of all the texting, you have become one of her totally available 'text-puppies,' and this is the kiss of death for her attraction for you. You have got to be more hard to get. So when a girl texts you in the future say something like: "Hey, that's sounds interesting, save it for our next date, we'll have more interesting stuff to talk and laugh about." Quote I called her out after a week of silence, asking if everything was ok, and she told me she was just very busy and had some problems at work. I told her that we could meet the day later to talk about this (but it did sound like a vague excuse to me). The day later she told me she had to leave the city to meet her family. I was ok with that but also I was pretty sure no one is TOO BUSY to text me for a week, so I decided to keep calm and wait for her move. When you say you 'called her out after a week,' do you mean text or voice phone? If it's text that's unacceptable. It's always preferable to do a voice call because you want to hear her voice as she responds to your date request. If she doesn't answer your call and doesn't return the phone call, you are out, she's not into you and your have to interpret her behavior toward you in that way. Block and delete her number forever. You say that you were waiting for her to make the next move, She did, but you don't know how to interpret her behavior. She's making excuses not to be with you and that always means that her romantic attraction level for you is around 0.0 out of 10. Sorry guy, I'm not trying to drive that big bad steamroller over your heart, but you have got to learn this stuff. Quote Now, it is a week she does not text me. I don't want to text her too, because I was clear I did not like her disappearing and I already tried to see if everything was ok (and she told me it was not about us). I don't mind texting everyday, but I assume if you don't text me in a week you just don't want to date again. So, what do you suggest me to do? Again, call her on the phone and if she doesn't answer, leave a message like this: "Hi Cassandra, It's Marcos. I wanna take you out bowling and then to the pub for some wine, wings and darts on Tuesday at 5pm, can you make it? Get back to me at xxx-xxx-xxxx." Say this slowly and very clearly, and then hang up and just wait, no texting. If she doesn't return the call, you are out, or, if she calls you back after a day and a half, you are still finished because she's not very eager to get back to you about the date. You leave a maximum of one phone message, but no more. Forget all of the texting between dates, be a challenge and raise her romantic attraction level for you. Hey good luck buddy, you'll get the woman of your dreams as long as you follow a lot of the advice on this forum. Good luck Thanks Edited May 20, 2021 by TrueGuy 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 20, 2021 Posted May 20, 2021 She has lost interest for whatever reason, and doesn't have the courage to tell you. It sucks and it's not a mature way for her to handle it, but I would not waste any more time on her, OP.
Author Marcos Posted May 20, 2021 Author Posted May 20, 2021 9 hours ago, norealusername said: Sounds like she's no longer interested for whatever reason. There really isn't anything you can do about it. I guess she can't handle talking about it. You're better off without her if this is how she treats people. 7 hours ago, FudgeSwirl said: Life gets hectic, but if someone is romantically interested in someone else that person will stay in contact and at least make plans even if they have to be over a week away. Yeah, thank you very much for your support. I guess what hurts for real is not moving on but the lack of respect of this kind of behavior. Just tell me you are not interested in me dude, you are almost 30 come on. 2
smackie9 Posted May 20, 2021 Posted May 20, 2021 Don't send the message. Just block/delete and go forward. 1
Maldives Posted May 22, 2021 Posted May 22, 2021 Yep typical ghosting behaviour no one that's busy can't just send a simple SMS that takes a minute out if there schedule that especially if it turns into days of no communication like yours
Wiseman2 Posted May 22, 2021 Posted May 22, 2021 Most people would rather have root canal than text someone that they met someone else or they're not feeling it or whatever. Best to not take it personally. 1
Author Marcos Posted May 24, 2021 Author Posted May 24, 2021 On 5/20/2021 at 4:16 PM, smackie9 said: Don't send the message. Just block/delete and go forward. On 5/22/2021 at 10:05 AM, Goodguy05 said: Yep typical ghosting behaviour no one that's busy can't just send a simple SMS that takes a minute On 5/22/2021 at 11:17 AM, Wiseman2 said: Most people would rather have root canal than text someone that they met someone else Just to let you know, after 2 weeks of no contact she also blocked me on social medias. I don't know why, never tried to text her. Dude that's sick in my opinion, I mean no one deserves this kind of behavior without knowing why By the way I also tried to look at other stories here in the forum, dating in your late twenties sucks, it is just a lot of sex with unreliable people.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 24, 2021 Posted May 24, 2021 I'm sorry, OP. She handled it very immaturely. It sounds to me like she's met someone else and doesn't want you finding out
smackie9 Posted May 24, 2021 Posted May 24, 2021 People of all dating ages ghost....dating sucks period, for everyone, even for grandpappy.
Miss Spider Posted May 24, 2021 Posted May 24, 2021 Dunno what you mean... dating is fun af, one of life’s many pleasures and grampie would be slaying it if he were still on that
chillii Posted May 25, 2021 Posted May 25, 2021 21 hours ago, Marcos said: Just to let you know, after 2 weeks of no contact she also blocked me on social medias. I don't know why, never tried to text her. Dude that's sick in my opinion, I mean no one deserves this kind of behavior without knowing why By the way I also tried to look at other stories here in the forum, dating in your late twenties sucks, it is just a lot of sex with unreliable people. Then it's def' time you started using your head in this stuff and being a way more selective , look for someone to build a real relationship with, somebody worthwhile , with more between the ears and compatible .
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