Guy doesn't reply?

[Kyrak]

4 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

Girl when you can figure out how to successfully pull this off you should write a national best-seller.  People have been lying to themselves trying to play this game where nobody  gets hurt and we all get off at our leisure, but that is not human nature.  Sex is meant to bond you deeply and that's why it is so satisfying when there is that trust built, there is consistency, that communication; we are all looking to feel connected and that is ultimately what is behind your need for sex with these men, even if casual.

 

 

What drives my need is sex then sexual chemistry then connection. Had a lot of awful one night stands and sex buddies that it made hooking up not what it's supposed to be fun and exciting. Yeah, you run the risk to bond at some point but no harm in that, I still keep in touch and I'm friends with guys we used to f*** for months even and emotions change over time. I'm looking for something simple but not superficial, good sex and company but none of the relationship baggage or drama or jealousy or meeting friends and family. I'm sure there are people who can pull it off and I've had two friends of mine who started as hook up ended up in a relationship almost married and then separated. They were hurt ofc but I'm sure they shared also some good moments.

[Miss Spider]

2 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

Also - I'd be careful about sending nudies to a man in this day and age.  Men love showing these to each other.  

Sorry to be a Debbie downer on your fun, I just feel that there is a potential price to pay here.

Meh, neck down and there’s nothing really to show. Not much more than most girls are doing all over Instagram. It’s just semi naked body.., But everyone do them ... 

[Wiseman2]

48 minutes ago, Kyrak said:

he was my best friend and f***ing constantly. 

wouldn't you be f***ing constantly.

another guy I was f***ing .

we were still hanging together and f***ing. 

Isn't it difficult to keep up with your high sex drive if you have to go hunting for it on the run all the time?

[Allupinnit]

Just now, Cookiesandough said:

Meh, neck down and there’s nothing really to show. Not much more than most girls are doing all over Instagram. It’s just semi naked body.., But everyone do them ... 

I mean ok - I've even had men I was dating show ME pics of a naked woman his BUDDY was having sex with.  I never did it.

[Kyrak]

9 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Ohh boom bingo bango, that’s it .. the main chick got mad, she probably got jelly. she’s probably like let me see your phone, don’t respond,  delete that ***s number lol. She said she’s cool with poly, but she either just relunctantly agreed or she means on her side only haha at least that’s what I think might have happened here. And I agree it’s hard to see someone as too desperate if you know they just want sex and you want the same... and it’s good... Sucks since it was, but I think you need to keep searching for a fwb who doesn’t have strings attached because this guy sounds a bit too messy. He won’t be convenient enough to be a good, steady fwb to you that keeps in regular contact like you’re looking for. I’ve never had fwb, but I’m sure what you’re looking for exists. Somewhere in the middle between f buddies and bf/gf . Esp since you found one in the past 

Yeah indeed, for some reason I'm attracting guys who are in a responsible or dating seriously or open and they tend to try and find an escape for a moment before returning to their realities. Some where more smitten and kept texting or asking to meet again but after few times its always ups got caught or my girl is mad and they gradually fade out. Don't mind it but they can be honest upfront. This one I made a joke about an ex having the same zodiac as him that I wouldn't do it again and his instant response was but we aren't dating, duh I'm aware since I sent you message last minute to hook up at my place so I felt he misunderstood my sense of humour

[Kyrak]

1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said:

Isn't it difficult to keep up with your high sex drive if you have to go hunting for it on the run all the time?

Yes it is and my time is limited work long hours so its hard to constantly look for available guys with whom I'm enjoying the sex otherwise it's just one sex date after another and this makes me stressful about STDs and hygiene (had some bad experience) so when someone decent shows up who wants sex also I try to keep momentum to be able to f*** again when its convenient for both. Didn't find texting a guy would be turn them off from hooking up again with you.

[Allupinnit]

Just now, Kyrak said:

Yes it is and my time is limited work long hours so its hard to constantly look for available guys with whom I'm enjoying the sex otherwise it's just one sex date after another and this makes me stressful about STDs and hygiene (had some bad experience) so when someone decent shows up who wants sex also I try to keep momentum to be able to f*** again when its convenient for both. Didn't find texting a guy would be turn them off from hooking up again with you.

Well, for one I think you're going after men who already have girlfriends so they're not interested in keeping up the momentum, they just want a dash of naughty every now and then whereas you want someone who is more at your beck and call.  A single guy would probably be a much better bet for you, not someone who is getting it on the reg at home.

[Miss Spider]

22 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

I mean ok - I've even had men I was dating show ME pics of a naked woman his BUDDY was having sex with.  I never did it.

Haha I have friends with onlyfans, so sending a sexy pic is NBD to me, but I get diff people have diff comfort zones/ 

 

21 minutes ago, Kyrak said:

Yeah indeed, for some reason I'm attracting guys who are in a responsible or dating seriously or open and they tend to try and find an escape for a moment before returning to their realities. Some where more smitten and kept texting or asking to meet again but after few times its always ups got caught or my girl is mad and they gradually fade out. Don't mind it but they can be honest upfront. This one I made a joke about an ex having the same zodiac as him that I wouldn't do it again and his instant response was but we aren't dating, duh I'm aware since I sent you message last minute to hook up at my place so I felt he misunderstood my sense of humour

 I feel like Covid has most people cuffed up or at least wanting to be cuffed up...
 

yea I think sometimes people misinterpret things like that because so many people say they’re ok with fwb then they go psycho mode. I feel that coming on with my ex and I just can’t deal with it right now. You actually sound cool and like you’re genuine about it, but the problem is you can’t tell people like you apart from the ones that one day say “do you love me” if not,  get mad , and spill everything to the gf...drag you & steal your dog they gifted you( personal xp). & maybe this guy didn’t have the opportunity to tell you that because she’s got him so whipped. Agree a fully single guy would be better. Who knows. What can you do?

Edited May 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough

[Kyrak]

2 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

Well, for one I think you're going after men who already have girlfriends so they're not interested in keeping up the momentum, they just want a dash of naughty every now and then whereas you want someone who is more at your beck and call.  A single guy would probably be a much better bet for you, not someone who is getting it on the reg at home.

Yeah I absolutely agree at this point. Kind of got exhausted being the bubbly mistress at their services need a single guy to experiment together more occasionally cause I also have needs and this sucks but thank u its a great advice.

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Kyrak said:

Kind of got exhausted being the bubbly mistress at their services need a single guy to experiment together more occasionally cause I also have needs and this sucks but thank u its a great advice.

How high can your sex drive be if you have to share guys with other lovers or lovers that replace you or lovers they go home to? Seems you are getting much less sex than average.

[dramafreezone]

20 hours ago, Kyrak said:

 

Have been seeing casually this guy, we usually text when we arrange to meet so the last time he was at my place brought some nice wine but didn't have opener so it stayed with me. He wrote me on his way home and I replied but didn't write smth requesting a response. I wrote to him again that I tried the wine and it's pretty good but he didn't reply yet (I noticed that he hasn't watched my stories today although he was one of the first to do). We are working together for a project which he shared his credentials with me to follow up so we are still connected. I'd have to enter and work on it but I'm embarassed after sending that message. Is he genuinely busy or slowly fading out? Many times we double text each other so don't think he'd mind me leaving that message but can't be sure and don't want to get paranoid about it.

If you're causally seeing someone why would you think you'd get any more than occasional communication? 

Are you looking to progress things?  If so he's not psychic, you have to actually tell him this stuff.

Quote

Yes it is and my time is limited work long hours so its hard to constantly look for available guys with whom I'm enjoying the sex otherwise it's just one sex date after another and this makes me stressful about STDs and hygiene (had some bad experience) so when someone decent shows up who wants sex also I try to keep momentum to be able to f*** again when its convenient for both. Didn't find texting a guy would be turn them off from hooking up again with you.

If you want to find a consistent FWB situation then it's really not hard to find.  If you have 100 criteria then it gets more difficult.

Edited May 19, 2021 by dramafreezone

[Kyrak]

3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

Haha I have friends with onlyfans, so sending a sexy pic is NBD to me, but I get diff people have diff comfort zones/ 

 

 I feel like Covid has most people cuffed up or at least wanting to be cuffed up...
 

yea I think sometimes people misinterpret things like that because so many people say they’re ok with fwb then they go psycho mode. I feel that coming on with my ex and I just can’t deal with it right now. You actually sound cool and like you’re genuine about it, but the problem is you can’t tell people like you apart from the ones that one day say “do you love me” if not,  get mad , and spill everything to the gf...etc etc ... & maybe this guy didn’t have the opportunity to tell you that because she’s got him so whipped. Who knows. What can you do?

Tbh already losing interest started chatting with a bunch of other guys and I'm not the type to sit and wait I just feel sad for few days then get back on it. Sounds very messy for me and since I have been honest with what I'm looking for and kept it almost consistent the ball is on his court. He was complaining to me about her that there's some drama going on since we met and I said hit me up if you sort this out and he did so I thought somehow they resolved it. This is like fooling me cause if he can't pull off fwb or sex buddies why come second and third time to f*** in two weeks time? One would understand to get a hook up and then ghost but three times multiplied by 4-5 rounds each time and showering together then cuddling?  Would make sense I'd start feeling more comfortable to flirt and be excited for a new sex buddy. We never anyhow chat about our days or have been in contact much only to arrange when to meet again. I'll do nothing and see how it goes but chances are I'll be hooking up with someone else by the time he comes back for a hook up, if I have no other options I'll consider it but will try to clarify in person if he's polygamous or not cause I am single and not limited in my choices. I might want it at midnight on Thursday or sunday afternoon, so if he's on "a leash" don't see how this benefits my needs although I miss the sex, was indeed intense and constantly kissing.

[Kyrak]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How high can your sex drive be if you have to share guys with other lovers or lovers that replace you or lovers they go home to? Seems you are getting much less sex than average.

For this period yes, cause there were four guys in relationships in a row but with a single guy that we get along and there isn't any "where is this going" thing and we just hang out and have sex quite a lot. With my last sex buddy he used to sleep together and go out, we f***ed almost every two days but eventually stopped interacting as he had some major drug problems and stopped being fun. So u get my experiences, it is hard to find someone decent for even occasional booty calls 

[Kyrak]

7 minutes ago, dramafreezone said:

If you're causally seeing someone why would you think you'd get any more than occasional communication? 

Are you looking to progress things?  If so he's not psychic, you have to actually tell him this stuff.

If you want to find a consistent FWB situation then it's really not hard to find.  If you have 100 criteria then it gets more difficult.

Hm haven't thought of my criteria maybe I tend to be picky. May I ask you in what sense to progress things? I'm more in the moment person, when I feel like texting or having sex I reach out but never writing many unnecessary things. The wine thing honestly wasn't to initiate on going conversation was more like subtle way to say " you have good wine taste, let's f*** and drink it" but this is the way I flirt. I was direct at first but thought to spicy it up a bit. Maybe he took it the wrong way that I'm expecting constant communication. Occasional for me is a text that invites some action or playful not every day but just setting the tone and none of how are you, how is going, even sexy pictures or sex talk is occasional and fun to build some anticipation so sex is better in person (I tested this with a guy we were sexting sometimes in between meetings and sex was improving also the intensity)

[ExpatInItaly]

Have you considered that maybe he's not in open relationship at all, but rather that he's just plain cheating on his girlfriend?

His silence may be because he's trying not to get caught. 

[Miss Spider]

It’s not hard to find a fwb = an opinion from people who consider the creepy man at the gas station who keeps asking if they can get your number also a viable fwb option. It pretty much assumes the premise you don’t have that high of standards for the people you ****

[Kyrak]

3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

It’s not hard to find a fwb = an opinion from people who consider the creepy man at the gas station who keeps asking if they can get your number also a viable fwb option. It pretty much assumes the premise you don’t have that high of standards for the people you ****

Yeah there seems to be a confusion there. We have few common ideas and experiences btw

[Kyrak]

8 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Have you considered that maybe he's not in open relationship at all, but rather that he's just plain cheating on his girlfriend?

His silence may be because he's trying not to get caught. 

Yes this could also be an option that makes sense. Wow, on his part very messy cause he first referred to toxic ex, then kind of open ish relationship then open and the girl getting mad? All these before we met third time so if he's cheating its all on him. To me he presented another picture.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Kyrak said:

Yes this could also be an option that makes sense. Wow, on his part very messy cause he first referred to toxic ex, then kind of open ish relationship then open and the girl getting mad? All these before we met third time so if he's cheating its all on him. To me he presented another picture.

Yes, I realize that. 

I simply would not be surprised if his girlfriend has no idea that she's in an "open" relationship with him. 

[Kyrak]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Yes, I realize that. 

I simply would not be surprised if his girlfriend has no idea that she's in an "open" relationship with him. 

Can't believe there are people like that wanting it all, lying and cheating. If someone isn't happy in a relationship and feel like occasionally escaping then break up and live your life. Its total mess. Btw, he's active on dating app so he's hooking up I'm guessing which not sure you can do all time with steady gf. I mean he invited me over same day we chatted so if there was a girlfriend it seemed so easy for him to hook up, even said "if you want to see me naked that can be easily arranged"

[Wiseman2]

58 minutes ago, Kyrak said:

my last sex buddy he used to sleep together and go out, we f***ed almost every two days

This seems closer to a FWB type thing, but still a lot less sex than many married people/people living together.

It may be best to find your own man for sex rather than share him with a bunch of other women.

This guy seems to have found someone hotter and ghosted, sorry.  It should be easy enough to find NSA sex, no?

Edited May 19, 2021 by Wiseman2

[Allupinnit]

Yeah seems like he just lost interest honestly.  Sounds like you aren't hard up for options, so no loss.

[ExpatInItaly]

10 hours ago, Kyrak said:

 Btw, he's active on dating app so he's hooking up I'm guessing which not sure you can do all time with steady gf. I mean he invited me over same day we chatted so if there was a girlfriend it seemed so easy for him to hook up, even said "if you want to see me naked that can be easily arranged"

She could be long-distance. She might also be non-existent, and this is something he tells girls he sleeps with so they don't expect more from him. It would be strange but stranger things have happened. 

Either way, I would not sweat it. This is what casual sex looks like - you occasionally talk. Expecting daily communication or worrying about why he hasn'r responded isn't part of the game, so to speak. You might want to reconsider if casual sex is truly all you're after. 

[Kyrak]

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

This seems closer to a FWB type thing, but still a lot less sex than many married people/people living together.

It may be best to find your own man for sex rather than share him with a bunch of other women.

This guy seems to have found someone hotter and ghosted, sorry.  It should be easy enough to find NSA sex, no?

Yes he might have but me also, was having sex with a guy then invited him  over at the same night when the other left (he doesn't know that cause I'm being private and didn't mention I sleep around), I guess this is normal. Can't ghost me if we were just f***ing cause the point is that you can step out of this anytime without explaining yourself, any party can do that so don't think he makes a deal out of it to ignore on purpose. Guilty of that also, don't like leaving people hanging but sometimes can't confront so I take the easy way out thinking that anyway it wasn't anything and they don't really care about it. I'm quite hot myself haha so no hard feelings. I guess I got used to receiving attention from guys, chasing me or interacting with my social media so I felt kind of trapped and started caring when a guy doesn't (like a strike in my ego) but I can see objectively things now that I'm taking a step back and its not that bad at all, it liberated my mind from thinking all the time "why do guys do this or that" not a nice place to be so thank u guys for tough love it helps.

[Kyrak]

Fyi, I uploaded a "hot" selfie and few minutes after posting it, he went and checked my stories after not viewing them for two three days I think. I get it, it's just lust. Any ideas how can I turn this to my advantage? Speaking purely about hooking up and not losing my power