Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 Have been seeing casually this guy, we usually text when we arrange to meet so the last time he was at my place brought some nice wine but didn't have opener so it stayed with me. He wrote me on his way home and I replied but didn't write smth requesting a response. I wrote to him again that I tried the wine and it's pretty good but he didn't reply yet (I noticed that he hasn't watched my stories today although he was one of the first to do). We are working together for a project which he shared his credentials with me to follow up so we are still connected. I'd have to enter and work on it but I'm embarassed after sending that message. Is he genuinely busy or slowly fading out? Many times we double text each other so don't think he'd mind me leaving that message but can't be sure and don't want to get paranoid about it.
LivingWaterPlease Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 i think it's fine that you left the message. He actually could be that busy. And he could also think he answered your text. This has happened to me. I'll type out a text then forget to hit the send button. A family member of mine gets so many texts sometimes he doesn't even see the ones I send him. So it's possible he didn't see your text, too. Just try to behave normally and at some point he'll probably go to text you and see that he hasn't answered your text then do so. This happened to me recently with my bf and really hurt my feelings. We are fairly new together and I texted him photos of family members he'd never met or seen photos of. It seemed to me he totally ignored them! After four days (we don't text often) I decided to swallow my pride and send him a short sweet text. Sure enough, he wrote me back that he'd written a text acknowledging the photos and had forgotten to hit the send button. And he answered both texts.
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 He just saw it. And hasn't responded yet but neither checked my stories. Well I guess that was it. Happened to me lots of times.
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 6 hours ago, Kyrak said: seeing casually this guy, . We are working together for a project . Are you dating? Are either of you in other relationships? What is the understanding with "seeing casually"? Are you friends? Lovers? You'll eventually hear from him if you work together. However you seem anxious that he's not in touch after he was at your place? Are you concerned it was just a hookup? Relax. If you wait nervously by your phone, you'll make yourself upset. If you are unclear about him, why invite him to your place?
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you dating? Are either of you in other relationships? What is the understanding with "seeing casually"? Are you friends? Lovers? You'll eventually hear from him if you work together. However you seem anxious that he's not in touch after he was at your place? Are you concerned it was just a hookup? Relax. If you wait nervously by your phone, you'll make yourself upset. If you are unclear about him, why invite him to your place? We are kind of friends but it turn sexual and we hooked up twice. I was concerned first that he went silent with the texting and then not watching my stories so I dropped him a casual dm (it was his birthday the other day but I wished him in person when we were together so didn't write to him again but wrote to him the following day when I opened the wine). He's in an open relationship at least this is what he said. But if he was planning to stop seeing me why would he give me his credentials to access his account and work through his? That doesn't add up. He said we aren't dating and I agreed but it's unlike him to not reply and avoid my stories. At least this is my assumption or he could be genuinely busy. I regret sending the message it showed my weakness and that I like him and maybe he got scared. But told him that I was seeing this as casual without commitment and he seemed to understand it that time. Would a guy try and avoid you but let you have access to stmh so important like his work? He said that he trusted me.
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 3 minutes ago, Kyrak said: . He's in an open relationship at least this is what he said. . Ok. Stop seeing him. He's just the typical cheater, feeding you nonsense so he can get some sex on the side. Dump him ASAP. . "Open relationship" is the same BS as "we're like roommates, wife doesn't understand me", etc. If he is in any type of superior position at work report him for sexual harassment. You don't have to sleep with him for whatever these "credentials" are. Immediately delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps, except whatever has to do with work. Act professional. Date available single men if you are looking for a relationship. 1
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Ok. Stop seeing him. He's just the typical cheater, feeding you nonsense so he can get some sex on the side. Dump him ASAP. . "Open relationship" is the same BS as "we're like roommates, wife doesn't understand me", etc. If he is in any type of superior position at work report him for sexual harassment. You don't have to sleep with him for whatever these "credentials" are. Immediately delete and block him from all your social media and messaging apps, except whatever has to do with work. Act professional. Date available single men if you are looking for a relationship. But I'm looking for a relationship I'm also not available have my own issues. No we arent working for the same company he just offered me to access his account so I can follow some online courses he's paying and I couldn't afford. Side sex looks good and we have some good time together the last time we met it was cool. Not sure what changed in the meantime. Does it have to do with me sending him messages? I didn't overwhelm him and waited two days before initiating a new conversation. If it wasn't anything I've done, then perhaps it's his gf cause last time he told me she got mad we met (which if its an open why'd she got mad?)
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 4 minutes ago, Kyrak said: I'm also not available have my own issues. he just offered me to access his account so I can follow some online courses he's paying and I couldn't afford. What issues are those? Are you in a relationship also? Are both of you cheating? What he's doing is unethical, as far as pirating/hijacking this course. What is the point in your taking it if you can't get credit for it? Pay for your own education. Apply for student loans, tuition assistance, government aid, food stamps, housing assistance, etc. Exchanging sex for access to someone else's paid online courses is unseemly.
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 6 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: What issues are those? Are you in a relationship also? Are both of you cheating? What he's doing is unethical, as far as pirating/hijacking this course. What is the point in your taking it if you can't get credit for it? Pay for your own education. Apply for student loans, tuition assistance, government aid, food stamps, housing assistance, etc. Exchanging sex for access to someone else's paid online courses is unseemly. I didn't exchange sex for it. He offered it on the spot and I accepted. No I'm not in a relationship just have my personal work to do and don't feel ready to date. I'm not interested in his private life just want to have some casual sex with someone I like and trust ( for this particular situation I do) regardless of his status
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) A lot of people here are more... traditional. It’s perfectly possible he’s really in an ‘open relationship’. Lately, there’s been a big influx of these. & as far as you know, he is. So you’re not doing anything wrong. But since you have a casual/hook up relationship he might want a lot less communication than you do. It might be too much for him. First of all, chatting a lot tends to lead to more emotional intimacy or a closer relationship.. & if you’re only contacting to hook up, he might not want to at the moment. So he might be trying to pace it with a fade. Try to match his communication or let them reach out to you sometime too. If it’s not enough, you may need to find someone else to get your needs met Edited May 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough 1
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, Kyrak said: . I'm not interested in his private life just want to have some casual sex with someone I like and trust regardless of his status Ok,so you know it's just an affair so why worry about where he is and what he's doing and when or if he's replying to anything? He's not a BF and you already know where he is and who he's busy with. If it's just hookups, don't get involved in his social media and messaging. Just curious why you can't afford the course and bother with it if you can't get credit? How do you know each other? Edited May 19, 2021 by Wiseman2
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 For someone who is in a casual relationship, you are far too invested. You, like a lot of women say you don't want commitment yet you expect the guy to act like a bf... You want someone who likes you, someone who treats you nice, someone who treats you like you matter. BUT if you want all that then get a bf. Casual guys don't want cosy chats, they don't want to act like a bf, they just want sex when they feel like it. No hassle, no expectations... 5
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 Shall I write to him again and make it clear that I'm constantly "in the mood" or horny because this is my problem. I am hypersexual that's why I'm going after casual. I prefer in person but if maybe he already got the wrong idea. My message was supposed to be flirty and invite him for sex. Can I say "was being horny and wanted sex, dont get me wrong"
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 5 minutes ago, Kyrak said: Shall I write to him again and make it clear that I'm constantly "in the mood" or horny because this is my problem. I am hypersexual that's why I'm going after casual. I prefer in person but if maybe he already got the wrong idea. My message was supposed to be flirty and invite him for sex. Can I say "was being horny and wanted sex, dont get me wrong" Many (but not all) guys want to be in the driving seat. They want to decide when and how often. It can be a bit of a turn off to have a woman trying to dictate. If he is in an open relationship, variety may be more important to him than frequency. 1
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 1 minute ago, elaine567 said: Many (but not all) guys want to be in the driving seat. They want to decide when and how often. It can be a bit of a turn off to have a woman trying to dictate. If he is in an open relationship, variety may be more important to him than frequency. So I do nothing? I'm also going after sex. Just wrote a stupid comment cause I didn't want to scare him that I'm hypersexual and feel pressured but now I regret writing one thing when I meant another. My last message was sent last night. Can I give it a rest few days and text again when I want a quickie?
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 10 minutes ago, Kyrak said: So I do nothing? I'm also going after sex. Just wrote a stupid comment cause I didn't want to scare him that I'm hypersexual and feel pressured but now I regret writing one thing when I meant another. My last message was sent last night. Can I give it a rest few days and text again when I want a quickie? He is not your sex slave, he does what he wants to do and if he is not responding, then take the hint. He will be back in touch if/when he feels like it. He after all likely has another outlet for his sexual needs, you are unlikely to be his one and only... 2
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 18 minutes ago, Kyrak said: text again when I want a quickie? Have you tried Tinder? Surely you'll get all the quickies you want from there, no? 1
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 5 minutes ago, elaine567 said: He is not your sex slave, he does what he wants to do and if he is not responding, then take the hint. He will be back in touch if/when he feels like it. He after all likely has another outlet for his sexual needs, you are unlikely to be his one and only... Yeah I'm guessing so. He said he really liked to f*** me. Maybe he's just busy and will resurface when he's horny. Fine with that, just wondering if I did stmh wrong with that message.
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Have you tried Tinder? Surely you'll get all the quickies you want from there, no? This is where we met. And yes, I tried it but all kinds of weirdos are there. This one seemed to be the most normal.
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) 39 minutes ago, Kyrak said: Shall I write to him again and make it clear that I'm constantly "in the mood" or horny because this is my problem. I am hypersexual that's why I'm going after casual. I prefer in person but if maybe he already got the wrong idea. My message was supposed to be flirty and invite him for sex. Can I say "was being horny and wanted sex, dont get me wrong" Maybe message him that you wanna hook up when you want to but don’t take offense if he doesn’t want to at that moment. I know guys have this rep of ybeing horny dogs up for sex 24/7 and not saying that’s incredibly off... but maybe he doesn’t want to do it too often with one particular person... he’s also got his main chick... he’s probably looking for /trying to hook up with others too... maybe he just doesn’t want to. Respect that and I don’t think you should take it personally if he doesn’t take the bait, but I don’t see the harm in putting it out there? Edited May 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 38 minutes ago, Kyrak said: . Can I say "was being horny and wanted sex, dont get me wrong" Sure. See what happens.
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 And do I send it following the message that went unread? Wouldn't that make me annoying cause I wrote to him last night and the last message was mine as well. I'm thinking stmh plain like "was just being horny and wanted sex. Don't get me wrong, was planning to send u sexy pic after cause I thought you might be tired for a quickie."
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) Also gotta put out there that sex is very rarely just sex even when people make like it is( though nice when that happens) you have to put some kind of politeness in there usually... there’s talking... an awkward time after... it’s rarely just a wam bam thank you sir/mam unless you’re paying someone. there’s damage control involved( generally) esp if it’s a regular thing ... people are vigilant of this ... esp if you’re hitting them up a lot. It’s sends alarm bells Edited May 19, 2021 by Cookiesandough
Author Kyrak Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 5 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Maybe message him that you wanna hook up when you want to but don’t take offense if he doesn’t want to at that moment. I know guys have this rep of ybeing horny dogs up for sex 24/7 and not saying that’s incredibly off... but maybe he doesn’t want to do it too often with one particular person... he’s also got his main chick... he’s probably looking for /trying to hook up with others too... maybe he just doesn’t want to. Respect that and I don’t think you should take it personally if he doesn’t take the bait, but I don’t see the harm in putting it out there? Yeah true.
Miss Spider Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 1 minute ago, Kyrak said: And do I send it following the message that went unread? Wouldn't that make me annoying cause I wrote to him last night and the last message was mine as well. I'm thinking stmh plain like "was just being horny and wanted sex. Don't get me wrong, was planning to send u sexy pic after cause I thought you might be tired for a quickie." Honestly... I’d wait several days and just send the sexy pic ... In the meantime be looking for backup/ someone new .. don’t look too desperate... even if you are. You said you’re hyper sexual then you probably need backup option because he’s not pulling through ?
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