kunaka1000 Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 Hie There I would like to ask for any advice. I have been dating for over a year now and the one thing that's always a problem with my partner is I do not open up often and I live her guessing about a lot of things, which leaves her confused and helpless and at times whether I do love her, which I really do. This is a weakness for me, I am an introvert , making friends is very hard for me and sharing things about myself has always been a challenge, even to my parents or best friend. Any advice would be greatly appreciated any similar experiences or tips to overcome this Thank you
Gaeta Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 You have to verbalize your feelings to her, even if it's just by texting her your feelings, or leaving little love notes for her to find. This will be a problem in your relationships that will stick with you all of your life if you don't address the reasons why you cannot express your feelings to a point your partner suffers from it. I think finding a therapist to address this would be a enormous investment in yourself, your happiness, and your future. Wouldn't you like to express how much you love all those people around you? So many people have lost their love ones without ever being able to tell them a simply I love you mom. Go work on yourself.
Wiseman2 Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 (edited) 53 minutes ago, kunaka1000 said: whether I do love her, which I really do. Is she unusually insecure/clingy? Are you telling her you love her and that it's a committed relationship? Are you doing romantic things or taking her for granted? Either she needs excessive reassurances or you are giving her the cold shoulder. Only you know which one it really is, no? Is this the same woman?: Edited May 18, 2021 by Wiseman2
smackie9 Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 Expressing your feelings is not being weak. It takes confidence/security in yourself to do it. Why can't you trust her? You know if you keep doing this to her she's going to give up and dump you. A relationship cannot survive without open communication and speaking what's on your mind. Step up and man up. 1
Ami1uwant Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 What level are we talking about here? initimste thoughts or feelings skeltons in the closet your normal personal feeling you not verbally showing interest or affection ??? 1
dramafreezone Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 (edited) It would help to be more verbally expressive, show her that you're making an effort. Her wondering if you love her is a sign of insecurity though. You can make efforts to be more verbal, but you'll probably never be as verbal as she'd like you to be. Eventually she will have to understand that you are reserved in your feelings at times, that's part of her accepting who you are. I'm naturally introverted and for the most part I've matched up with women that weren't as demanding that I drastically change my communication style, so guess I'm lucky. Having a frank conversation about this issue would be helpful in determining if you can meet her needs. Edited May 18, 2021 by dramafreezone
Miss Spider Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 Try telling a story about something that’s happened to you in the past. What are your fears/hesitations in sharing? 1
Miss Peach Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 (edited) I am an outgoing introvert. I have been there done that but have gotten over a lot of it. It can be difficult opening up but getting comfortable with myself regardless of what other people think is what helped for me. Are there things you can verbalize even if it's not your feelings? Does it come out in other ways? For example I tend to go to touch and affection first. I have to think about saying something about my feelings usually unless I am with a VERY verbal partner. But I am an open book otherwise now. Edited May 19, 2021 by Miss Peach 1
d0nnivain Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 Start small. Tell her little things about yourself like your favorite movie, book, team or food. Get used to gradually revealing yourself. If she asks a Q, answer it as fully & completely as possible If it's a sensitive subject & you don't feel comfortable yet tell her that but do give a superficial truth. For example if your biggest fear is being betrayed by someone you love but you can't outright talk about that say something like That's a deep Q. I do have fear like everyone else but you know I'm a private person. Some day we can revisit this subject but It's a little too much for me right now. Like anybody else I am afraid of spiders [or something else that you are willing to share]. That way she will feel like you trust her & she will know you are opening up albeit gradually. 1
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