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Posted

Yesterday I had a conversation with my ex in regards to our relationship. It was a toxic cycle and not healthy. We both were immature.

Maybe it wasn't as toxic a relationship as we've both had in the past (we both had previous physically abusive partners) but it was constantly on/off again. I've been so focused on the things that she did wrong and the ways that I wanted her to change but I realize now that I had so many issues. I'd stonewall, walk out on conversations, was impatient, make unnecessary jabs, and more. I know that it's not all my fault but I still wasn't the best person and didn't show up like I should have. 

I say all of that to ask, has anyone had a similar realization? That maybe they aren't toxic but they need to grow up? To mature and grow? It's probably a long time coming but it's time that I made change. Any and all advice is welcome. 

I'm currently in counseling and will be speaking to my therapist this week. 

Posted
4 minutes ago, vwisme said:

Yesterday I had a conversation with my ex in regards to our relationship. It was a toxic cycle and not healthy.

Try to stay away from toxic exes and people. Delete and block her from all your messaging apps.

Is this the same women?:

 

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Posted

This is the same one. We're not looking to get together or work things out. We are passed that at this point for sure. 

 

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Posted
6 hours ago, vwisme said:

Yesterday I had a conversation with my ex in regards to our relationship. It was a toxic cycle and not healthy. We both were immature.

Maybe it wasn't as toxic a relationship as we've both had in the past (we both had previous physically abusive partners) but it was constantly on/off again. I've been so focused on the things that she did wrong and the ways that I wanted her to change but I realize now that I had so many issues. I'd stonewall, walk out on conversations, was impatient, make unnecessary jabs, and more. I know that it's not all my fault but I still wasn't the best person and didn't show up like I should have. 

I say all of that to ask, has anyone had a similar realization? That maybe they aren't toxic but they need to grow up? To mature and grow? It's probably a long time coming but it's time that I made change. Any and all advice is welcome. 

I'm currently in counseling and will be speaking to my therapist this week. 

It sounds like your taking steps in the right direction. Keep that same energy. 

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Posted

Sometimes you have to see the bad stuff we all do so we can learn from our mistakes & not repeat them.  I know I'm a lot more patient & better able to see things from the other's perspective now.  

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Posted

Thank you. I appreciate the kind replies and the words of advice. I'll keep down this path and move on to better and brighter

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