Helpme Posted June 19, 2001 Posted June 19, 2001 I'm trying to guess where my girlfriend is, and England is the most logical choice. Because she is in some live in school(boarding school?), you need to swim to get there(I live in america), shes in another country(oviously england is another country), and there are alot of horses. Those are my clues. So now I have some questions about england. Is 18 the legal age your an adult? Are their any serious laws about rights and freedoms that differ from America? Perhaps she's in a different part of Europe. What about with other countries over there. Are the laws the same? But I still believe she's in England. Does anyone know anything about anything? What about rich girls boarding schools over there? keep in mind she was sent away because her parenta abused her and they did this to cover it up....And we're only 16. Any legal way I can contact her outside the country without her parent permission?
Tony T Posted June 19, 2001 Posted June 19, 2001 When you find her, you can write her. Nothing illegal about that. You may have been told she's overseas because her parents want you to think that but it's highly likely she's within 150 miles of where you are right now. And you don't need to swim to get to England. Planes and ocean liners do quite well. Only the craziest of people try to swim to overseas destinations. Frankly, I don't know of anyone in the history of the world who's swam to England from the United States without great assistance and cheating. If she cares anything at all about you, she'll write you. Otherwise, give up trying to find her. There is not one person who visits this forum who would be psychic enough to pick up on exactly where she is. Also, if she has been abused, she needs a lot of time to heal from that. She will not make a very good partner for anyone until she gets over those issues. I also think it's extremely abusive to ship somebody off to some strange land to get them to forget some abuse. This girl's parents are wacko which means she probably has a few wacko genes in her as well. As for England, it's a pretty decent place. The people are very friendly. 18 is the golden age, right. The food is a bit bland, it's very humid, it rains often and is on the chilly side most of the year. Since we got most of our American law from British common law, you will find the laws of both countries are very similar. Yes, there are many rich girl's boarding schools there. As for your question about does anybody know anything about anything, I know a lot about anything but I went to school for many years at great expense and I'm not about to share my knowledge of anything. Most of what I know about anything is very difficult to explain anyway. But frankly, if the truth be known, I know nothing about nothing.
Justine Posted June 19, 2001 Posted June 19, 2001 This is just a quick response to Tony's message. "Only the craziest of people try to swim to overseas destinations. Frankly, I don't know of anyone in the history of the world who's swam to England from the United States without great assistance and cheating." Australian Susie Maroney swam from New York Harbour to London in 6 weeks in August 1998, and by all accounts, she is perfectly sane. "This girl's parents are wacko which means she probably has a few wacko genes in her as well." Tony, you are usually a very sensitive person, I think that a statement as generalised as this is really quite offensive. Just because her parents are weird does not mean that she doomed to a life of mental instability as well. This statement also contradicts what you say earlier - that she will need time to 'heal'. If you think she can heal, why say in the next paragraph that she is doomed to be a 'wacko'? "Since we got most of our American law from British common law, you will find the laws of both countries are very similar." That really depends on what type of law you are referring to. Case law is quite similar, simply because of the doctrine of precedent. But the law which is relevant to this guy's situation are most likely going to be statute law, which differs greatly between the two countries primarily because England is a monarch and America is a Federal Republic. The age of consent, sexual maturity, autonomy from your parents etc is different, with America being generally more conservative than the UK. Anyway, these points are very semantic. I generally agree wit what Tony said.
Tony T Posted June 19, 2001 Posted June 19, 2001 1. "Australian Susie Maroney swam from New York Harbour to London in 6 weeks in August 1998, and by all accounts, she is perfectly sane." That's great, but she was accompanied by a boat and others who could come to her rescue if she went down. Swimming is not the method of choice for getting overseas. The poster said "you need to swim to get there." I don't think that is correct. Kudos to Susie Maroney on her sanity. 2. "Just because her parents are weird does not mean that she doomed to a life of mental instability as well. This statement also contradicts what you say earlier - that she will need time to 'heal'." Did not say she is doomed to a life of mental instability but she certainly will live that way unless she realizes she has a problem and gets help. Just because I say a person needs time to heal does not imply that they are going to take advantage of that time. She is probably totally unaware of the depth of the abuse she has sustained at this time. People who are abused usually don't come to that conclusion until later when they see just how they have been affected. Many of those from abused families are mentally unstable for the rest of their lives. However, I am glad you have made this point and you are right about whatever you are right about. 3. I am glad you have clarified the finer points of British Common Law. I stand by my statement that a lot of our law has its basis in common law. You are correct in what you say. We have spend more than 200 years refining our laws. We have over 400 congressmen, 50 senators, a Supreme Court, thousands of city councilmen, county commissioners, etc. all over America who make, change, eliminate, modify, etc. law every day. With all that, after a while our laws do vary somewhat from that or our mother country. I am impressed that you are detail oriented. That's good. Would that you would have given this lad some advice on his situation rather than critique my post. You sound like you could have done him much more good than I did. This guy is looking for help and you could probably lend him a helping hand. At least I gave that a shot. And while I'm at it, I have tried real hard to stay away from the forum to allow others to answer posts. When I do that, many of them just don't get responded to. What do you think that is? I know there are many people who come here. I think visitors deserve many more opinions than my own, particularly when some of them are as bad as you point out in this case.
Justine Posted June 21, 2001 Posted June 21, 2001 Tony, I don't know why you acted so defensively to my post. I certainly didn't mean to offend you; as an Australian psychology and law student I just felt the need to clarify a couple of points you made. I didn't add my own views on the situation because basically I agree with what you said. I am just very anal about these things, and I'm sorry if I somehow undermined your original post, because I certainly didn't mean to. I usually don't respond to posts where I don't feel that I can make a positive or meaningful contribution to a person's situation. I'm sure I could have written some half-arsed reply to another's plea for help but if I am inexperienced in what they are dealing with, I would prefer to let experts like yourself pick up the gauntlet, so to speak.
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