AgentSmith007 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 I have cute neighbor in my apt building who from what I can tell seems to like me, for awhile now when we past each other either in the hallway or outside I get the long flirty looks and nice smiles along with the "hi" or "hello". About 3 weeks ago same thing happened I was coming in and passed me, more smiles and eye contact. I kept it at hi and went about my business. Same day ran into her again in the hallway, this time I introduced myself, she did the same and we had nice few minutes chat that ended up her showing me her place as we were discussing the new suite remodeling that she happens to be in. Of course as I am back in my place down the hall later that day I am thinking I should have asked her to grab a bite to eat. Far as I can tell she is single, I don't know many attached women that would invite a guy they just met in their home. My dilemma is deciding to either go knock on her door to ask her out or wait till I run into her in the building again and ask. Don't wanna come off as creepy or weird. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Next time you see her in the hallway, invite her out for drinks. I wouldn't knock on her door, though. If you see her in the hallway, laundry or pool (public areas) that is fine (ask her out), but I wouldn't knock on her door. I met my long term girlfriend in an apartment complex pool. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Be bold. Ask her to lunch, etc. If you should happen to get turned down it’s no big deal. The shame would be in not asking. Go for it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AgentSmith007 Posted May 13, 2021 Author Share Posted May 13, 2021 Thanks, I'll wait it out. I've been in that "should've/could've/why didn't I" headspace where I didn't act and I regret it. I will definitely ask her out next time we are passing or if I see her around. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Haaaaa, l had a neighbour similar once , flat upstairs. ln the end she asked if l could come and fix her heater haha. l thought to myself well l'd love to come and fix your heater but l live with my gf so l'll just come and fix your other heater but that's it right. So l fixed her heater, while she sat really close in yummy v tight jeans and kinda looked well, you know. Anyway , depends when you think you'll pass her next , if too long could be the old door knock. lf she's interested she won't mind. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 I wouldn't knock... but next time you start chatting... ask if she wants to grab a coffee. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2021 Share Posted May 13, 2021 Fingers crossed that she says yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dramafreezone Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 (edited) On 5/12/2021 at 7:03 PM, AgentSmith007 said: I have cute neighbor in my apt building who from what I can tell seems to like me, for awhile now when we past each other either in the hallway or outside I get the long flirty looks and nice smiles along with the "hi" or "hello". About 3 weeks ago same thing happened I was coming in and passed me, more smiles and eye contact. I kept it at hi and went about my business. Same day ran into her again in the hallway, this time I introduced myself, she did the same and we had nice few minutes chat that ended up her showing me her place as we were discussing the new suite remodeling that she happens to be in. Of course as I am back in my place down the hall later that day I am thinking I should have asked her to grab a bite to eat. Far as I can tell she is single, I don't know many attached women that would invite a guy they just met in their home. My dilemma is deciding to either go knock on her door to ask her out or wait till I run into her in the building again and ask. Don't wanna come off as creepy or weird. I think there's a better-than-average chance that she might at least be interested in you, but that's dwindling with every day you don't make a move. She could interpret your lack of action as a rejection. If she's attractive she may start to think to herself why am I waiting on this guy to ask me out when all of these other guys are waiting for me to say yes. Edited May 14, 2021 by dramafreezone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AgentSmith007 Posted May 15, 2021 Author Share Posted May 15, 2021 8 hours ago, dramafreezone said: I think there's a better-than-average chance that she might at least be interested in you, but that's dwindling with every day you don't make a move. She could interpret your lack of action as a rejection. If she's attractive she may start to think to herself why am I waiting on this guy to ask me out when all of these other guys are waiting for me to say yes. I thought about this as well, it has been a few weeks since we chatted. With what's been suggested in the thread along with my gut is telling me don't knock, try and catch her when I can, unfortunately that is unpredictable. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted May 15, 2021 Share Posted May 15, 2021 I wouldn’t wait long. Being rejected is better than missing an opportunity l Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted May 15, 2021 Share Posted May 15, 2021 5 hours ago, AgentSmith007 said: my gut is telling me don't knock, try and catch her when I can, unfortunately that is unpredictable. So? It's better than knocking which is equally "unpredictable", except that what may be predictable is she thinks it's creepy and gets completely put off by it. Basically the idea of dating someone who lives in your building isn't a good one. If things don't work out it would be a disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AgentSmith007 Posted May 23, 2021 Author Share Posted May 23, 2021 Well, finally ran into my neighbor, made small talk and asked her if she was available for food. Got a big flattered smile, but she told me she doesn't do that, I had an immediate puzzled look on my face, she was trying to put into words that she was "emotionally unavailable". I said okay, she called me sweet, told her take care, and went about my business. I was puzzled as the only time I heard that before was from a woman when we broke up from dating, we were more physically attached than emotional. My only guess is she likes me but maybe is getting over a bad relationship at the moment and doesn't want to get involved in anything. Oh well, glad I asked in the end. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted May 23, 2021 Share Posted May 23, 2021 1 minute ago, AgentSmith007 said: Oh well, glad I asked in the end. Good job.... you asked and got your answer. If it is Saturday night (where you are), grab a shower and go out. I've always had good luck walking to the pubs/bars near an apartment complex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted May 23, 2021 Share Posted May 23, 2021 Nice job. Nothing ventured nothing gained. Its better to know than not know. I would not approach her again. A nice hi Is all you need in the future. Just civil/neighborly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted May 23, 2021 Share Posted May 23, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, AgentSmith007 said: Well, finally ran into my neighbor, made small talk and asked her if she was available for food. Got a big flattered smile, but she told me she doesn't do that, I had an immediate puzzled look on my face, she was trying to put into words that she was "emotionally unavailable". I said okay, she called me sweet, told her take care, and went about my business. I was puzzled as the only time I heard that before was from a woman when we broke up from dating, we were more physically attached than emotional. My only guess is she likes me but maybe is getting over a bad relationship at the moment and doesn't want to get involved in anything. Oh well, glad I asked in the end. Yeah l mean sounds like people think a knock was a bit much but funny , me heater girl came and knocked. But she would've known my gf was out bc she road a motor bike and it had a loud note , no mistaking her coming and going not to mention it would've been parked outside if she was home.It was funny though , fixing a heater that we both knew had nothing wrong with it. Just sayin in another thread yeah , all this stuff , why don;t guys approach , bc we've been there and know too well 90% of the time women just do this stuff but it doesn't mean she'll be interested . Sorry nothing came of it but at least you know now right, nothing worse than not knowing. Edited May 23, 2021 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author AgentSmith007 Posted May 23, 2021 Author Share Posted May 23, 2021 Thanks for the replies and advice, definitely glad I caught up with her to ask, she knows there is an interest. I probably should have asked a month ago when she invited me in, felt weird at that moment. No worries though, things are opening back up and social events will be happening, plenty of people to meet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted May 25, 2021 Share Posted May 25, 2021 So here's a tip, brother. You don't need to "think" about asking someone out. Save that for the natural Casanova types. The truth is ... you simply want to banter with a woman who lives down the hall ... and see if there is chemistry. The chemistry should be there in the banter. If there isn't such chemistry, she has no interest and really YOU should have no interest. You banter, talk here and there and if there is chemistry--as in real energy and lively conversation and sharing and mention of similarities in experiences and her laughing and you laughing--if that doesn't exist, you don't ask her out. So a nice rule is ... you shouldn't have to think about asking someone out. It should just be the natural next step. You chat her up in the hall ... and if there is chemistry, she'll likely say, "it was great talking to you." She say this with high high enthusiasm, this isn't just the "polite" response to a neighbor. Or she'll say something, "great talking to you. We should grab coffee one day." Bingo. Now you've got a green light. What you did is just randomly go up to someone--that's essentially what you did. Her inviting you in to see her place--that doesn't mean anything. Bottom line: relax and follow chemistry. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 (edited) When a woman tells me she is "emotionally unavailable" or the like, I have learnt to believe it. On the previous occasions when I have pursued her, and "convinced" her to get together with me, sure it's been an "eventful ride" but it always ended in tears, and then I looked back and said "OMG she was emotionally unavailable!!" lol Edited June 1, 2021 by dangerous Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted June 1, 2021 Share Posted June 1, 2021 On 5/22/2021 at 9:29 PM, AgentSmith007 said: Well, finally ran into my neighbor, made small talk and asked her if she was available for food. Got a big flattered smile, but she told me she doesn't do that, I had an immediate puzzled look on my face, she was trying to put into words that she was "emotionally unavailable". I said okay, she called me sweet, told her take care, and went about my business. I was puzzled as the only time I heard that before was from a woman when we broke up from dating, we were more physically attached than emotional. My only guess is she likes me but maybe is getting over a bad relationship at the moment and doesn't want to get involved in anything. Oh well, glad I asked in the end. No she's smart. If she starts dating a guy who lives in her building it will make it difficult to date others without getting caught. Link to post Share on other sites
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