HopelessNick Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 I've been pranking and talking to this girl because I like her. I'm normally a very quiet person who doesn't talk much because I'm shy and rarely know what to say. I've been pranking her so that she'd actually talk to me, which has worked. She's enjoyed the pranks too and has laughed. However, I overheard her and her friend the other day. Her friend said I was coming out of my shell and my crush said "that's probably because people are actually talking to him" and laughed. What does she mean by that? Is she being mean? I'm not sure. Should I stop trying and talking to her? Thanks guys.
elaine567 Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 2 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: . I've been pranking her so that she'd actually talk to me, How old are you? 2
Author HopelessNick Posted May 12, 2021 Author Posted May 12, 2021 1 minute ago, elaine567 said: How old are you? 25
FMW Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 Maybe she just meant that people started talking to you because you have opened up a little. If someone is too quiet and doesn't interact with others, people generally aren't going to go out of their way to initiate conversations. The more people you show a willingness to interact, the more people will talk to you. Keep talking to her and just see how things go. 4
SumGuy Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 Pranks as a way to show a girl you like her...may be common at 11 but don't work at that age and it doesn't get any better as you get older. It certainly can get you attention, but not the kind you are looking for...in general. Caveat, is does depend on the "prank," if it is one that actually ends up as a nice and thoughtful gesture that would be different. 1
Author HopelessNick Posted May 12, 2021 Author Posted May 12, 2021 5 minutes ago, introverted1 said: Define "pranking," please. For example, when she wasn't looking, I changed her laptop wallpaper haha 1
introverted1 Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 20 minutes ago, HopelessNick said: For example, when she wasn't looking, I changed her laptop wallpaper haha That'll get her attention, but it's not likely to enhance you as a dating prospect. What is your goal with her? Office mate? Friend? Date?
ShyViolet Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 Can you elaborate more on what types of pranks you are doing?
Sun Seeker Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 1 hour ago, HopelessNick said: For example, when she wasn't looking, I changed her laptop wallpaper haha Used to do that when I was at school... take a screenshot of the desktop, delete all the shortcuts then put the screenshot as the desktop background.. then wait for the frantic clicking on shortcuts but finding nothing was working lol Point is that is school boy stuff... you are 25. It's time to step your game up. When you are interested in someone romantically, then make that clear. Be confident in yourself. 1
Alpacalia Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 Interesting. 7 minutes ago, Punterxx said: For example, when she wasn't looking, I changed her laptop wallpaper haha Someone once left uncooked baby carrots in my desk at work.
Highndry Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 (edited) I am assuming, by your stated age, that the object of your affection is similar in age. This is a woman, not a girl. Childish pranks aren't going to get you very far for very long. This is a woman who wants to be treated as such. She wants to do grown up things with men, like have sex and other mature things. She doesn't want a boy. Grow up and ask her out. Otherwise you're just going to look like an immature boy who becomes an annoyance. Edited May 12, 2021 by Highndry
Wiseman2 Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 4 hours ago, HopelessNick said: For example, when she wasn't looking, I changed her laptop wallpaper haha That's not the way to make friends, impress women or break the ice. The way to impress women is to be open and confident, not schoolboy jokes. Start with small talk and then ask her to go for coffee. See how that goes.
Ami1uwant Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 You are 25 supposedly...pranking is what 12-14 yr old do 2
dramafreezone Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 7 hours ago, HopelessNick said: I've been pranking and talking to this girl because I like her. I'm normally a very quiet person who doesn't talk much because I'm shy and rarely know what to say. I've been pranking her so that she'd actually talk to me, which has worked. She's enjoyed the pranks too and has laughed. However, I overheard her and her friend the other day. Her friend said I was coming out of my shell and my crush said "that's probably because people are actually talking to him" and laughed. What does she mean by that? Is she being mean? I'm not sure. Should I stop trying and talking to her? Thanks guys. Being a court jester may make her laugh, but probably does little to increase her sexual attraction to you. What is your plan, she sits on a whoopie cushion that you cleverly placed in her chair and she walks over to you and says "have sex with me." Have to ask her out sooner or later. 1
glows Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 Don't do the pranks anymore unless you're looking to be the clown of the crowd or someone no one takes seriously. Ask her out.
prince0fgame Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 8 hours ago, HopelessNick said: I've been pranking and talking to this girl because I like her. I'm normally a very quiet person who doesn't talk much because I'm shy and rarely know what to say. I've been pranking her so that she'd actually talk to me, which has worked. She's enjoyed the pranks too and has laughed. However, I overheard her and her friend the other day. Her friend said I was coming out of my shell and my crush said "that's probably because people are actually talking to him" and laughed. What does she mean by that? Is she being mean? I'm not sure. Should I stop trying and talking to her? Thanks guys. I think you are too focused on what you are doing and not what she is doing. She has to make an effort before you can ask her out. If she doesn't make any efforts to flirt with you, then the romance only exists in your head. Remember, romance is a two-way street. A lot of guys get caught up in their own egos and worry too much about what they may have done right or wrong. But you need to look for a sign from her. You can't just escalate out of the blue. That is called desperation and you will come across as low value. A high value man only escalates with women that are actually trying to flirt with him. Romance = two people making equal efforts. Romance is not 1 person chasing the other person.
chillii Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 (edited) She just thinks people are talking to you more so your coming out of yourself more she doesn't know it's you that's making the effort but she has no clue it's bc your keen on her she thinks your just messin round. Why are you messin round so much , your 25 for God sakes , why not ask her for her number or out for a coffee or something. Yeah she might not be interested , but eh that's how it goes, she also might be too. Edited May 12, 2021 by chillii 1
Versacehottie Posted May 14, 2021 Posted May 14, 2021 Sorry I haven't read the responses yet but my biggest encouragement is to change your screen name Honestly, if you want to change your luck with this girl, dating in general and coming out of your shell, then even your screen name here should be more supportive of the positive outcomes when it comes to dating. If you call yourself hopeless it projects a whole uphill battle onto yourself. So I hope you will change it. Hopeful Nick 2
spiderowl Posted May 14, 2021 Posted May 14, 2021 I don't know what the women meant, OP, and the fact that women chat together and laugh at things doesn't always mean they agree with each other anyway. One may be humouring the other. It does sound like what you are doing to get her attention is a bit childlike. Do you have family or other close friends who can advise you on dating and suchlike? I get the feeling that somehow you have missed out on some helpful social information. If you like a woman, treat her well and be kind to her. Ask her out for a date, a coffee or something. Ask her about herself. Let her talk about her interests and you talk about yours, but be careful to keep the talking and listening time balanced. Jokes can be funny but not all the time. One needs different kinds of interactions in the dating world - fun, friendly, loving, serious. 1
TrueGuy Posted May 17, 2021 Posted May 17, 2021 On 5/12/2021 at 6:49 AM, HopelessNick said: I've been pranking and talking to this girl because I like her. I'm normally a very quiet person who doesn't talk much because I'm shy and rarely know what to say. I've been pranking her so that she'd actually talk to me, which has worked. She's enjoyed the pranks too and has laughed. Quote You've got to be careful here. You've pulled a couple of pranks and she's laughed, but don't do anymore pranks because they get old and bothersome very quickly, and they'll be viewed as harrassment. But she has laughed and that's always a good sign. However, I overheard her and her friend the other day. Her friend said I was coming out of my shell and my crush said "that's probably because people are actually talking to him" and laughed. What does she mean by that? Is she being mean? I'm not sure. Should I stop trying and talking to her? Quote Don't worry about that. Your job is to start a conversation with her and after about 10 or 15 minutes tell her that you have got be somewhere but then just ask for her phone number: "Nice chatting with ya, but I've got to be somewhere else, but I'd like to have your phone number." That's it. Wait 6 to 8 days and then call her up and ask her out on a date. Simple. If she gives the phone number and shows up for a date then she has some attraction for you. Just keep things light, humorous, and playful. No heavy stuff and keep your paws to yourself. Thanks guys.
smackie9 Posted May 18, 2021 Posted May 18, 2021 What did she mean? She meant what she said. You are coming out of your shell because you and everyone is interacting. Pranks at work are common but you need to be careful. Someone may not like it or it starts to get old. So maybe take the next step and actually start having small convos with people. The workplace is where you can learn this because you see them everyday. A quick good morning, ask how is your day, are the easiest icebreakers instead of pranks. I agree with others, it's time to be an adult, and get yourself out of the shell you have been hiding in since high school. 1
Author HopelessNick Posted May 19, 2021 Author Posted May 19, 2021 I heard her tell her female friend a guy asked her out on a first date. She said she hadn't responded yet because she doesn't know how to do first dates. Guess I'm done.
Wiseman2 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 5 hours ago, HopelessNick said: I heard her tell her female friend a guy asked her out on a first date. She said she hadn't responded yet because she doesn't know how to do first dates. Guess I'm done. Yeah, time to move forward. Don't bother chasing uninterested women.
elaine567 Posted May 19, 2021 Posted May 19, 2021 21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Don't bother chasing uninterested women. He doesn't have any truly interested women, that is the problem. Either no-one is interested or he cannot recognise it if they are... He has built up a kind of rapport with this girl. He should IMO ask her out for something non committal like a coffee and gauge her reaction.
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