Miss Spider Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 I guess it depends on the individual if it is a ‘dealbreaker’ or not, but I will say that just like texting, video chatting is not a real date to me. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 I never said it was a real date. I'm just saying that I don't understand people who are saying "Hell No!" to doing this before meeting. To me the screening process goes like this: 1. review profile 2. If you like them you reach out 3. have some back & forth on the app 4. move to a phone call (or text but for me a phone call was a requirement; I need to hear the voice to make sure they can carry on a conversation not just agonize over every word in a text). 5. video 6. 1st meet which could now be a bit longer then coffee only. 7. first date How many phone calls, texts, emails whatever, between the various steps would be played by ear but the above sounds like a logical progression to me. I could not go from step 2 to step 7 with nothing in between. Heck even in college when I was DTF & open to FWB it was never with somebody I just met that night. It was always a boy I'd seen around & knew to have some integrity.
introverted1 Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 (edited) 36 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: To me the screening process goes like this: 1. review profile 2. If you like them you reach out 3. have some back & forth on the app 4. move to a phone call (or text but for me a phone call was a requirement; I need to hear the voice to make sure they can carry on a conversation not just agonize over every word in a text). 5. video 6. 1st meet which could now be a bit longer then coffee only. 7. first date My preference is to go from 3 to 6. A video date would be a no-go. Too awkward and I can't really learn much from it. Just meet up and you'll have your answer pretty quickly. Edited May 13, 2021 by introverted1
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 2 minutes ago, introverted1 said: My preference is to go from 3 to 6. A video date would be a no-go. Too awkward and I can't really learn much from it. Just meet up and you'll have your answer pretty quickly. Understood but when I was doing OLD a meet up was a 2+ hour ordeal. There were no local people. Everybody was 1 hour away so to cut out that travel I'd be open to video. If it doesn't work for someone that is fine. I just don't get why it's a deal breaker. I am so much more comfy on video now since the pandemic because I probably spend 3-5 hours on Zoom calls / meetings per day just for work then there are the fun ones.
introverted1 Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 6 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Understood but when I was doing OLD a meet up was a 2+ hour ordeal. There were no local people. Everybody was 1 hour away so to cut out that travel I'd be open to video. If it doesn't work for someone that is fine. I just don't get why it's a deal breaker. I am so much more comfy on video now since the pandemic because I probably spend 3-5 hours on Zoom calls / meetings per day just for work then there are the fun ones. It's not a deal-breaker exactly, just something I make sure to avoid. Video doesn't do anyone any favors, imo, unless you really have a perfect setup for it. The lighting has to be just right, people tend to be awkward, you can't get a sense of the totality of the other person, scent/touch are both absent... I understand that it works for some people but for me, it's a no-go. It's a lot of effort for very little payback. I'd rather meet for a drink or even the dreaded coffee.
d0nnivain Posted May 14, 2021 Posted May 14, 2021 16 hours ago, introverted1 said: It's a lot of effort for very little payback. What effort? You get a decent background -- you can download them -- & viola it's easy. Heck, I have tied a nice silk scarf around my neck to camouflaged a sweatshirt for big deal business meetings. Really once you have a few background choices it's almost a no-brainer.
glows Posted May 14, 2021 Posted May 14, 2021 On 5/13/2021 at 11:04 AM, Philosopher said: Before last year I would usually suggest a phone call and have a short phone call to arrange meeting up. I think some women do prefer it, however usually if you try to call there would be no answer. Some women would refuse to exchange phone numbers, which pre covid meant meeting up was the only option. Now with dating sites often having an option for voice / video calls that may be different. If their messaging suggests they are very keen to meet up, I will normally suggest meeting up without any phone call. Agree. It depends. I've done video chats/calls, phone calls and no calls before meeting. It's nearly always a bust if there's no phone call prior.
Miss Spider Posted May 14, 2021 Posted May 14, 2021 (edited) 6 hours ago, d0nnivain said: What effort? You get a decent background -- you can download them -- & viola it's easy. Heck, I have tied a nice silk scarf around my neck to camouflaged a sweatshirt for big deal business meetings. Really once you have a few background choices it's almost a no-brainer. I can’t speak for introverted1, but the effort for me is the awkward nature of it. And I mean I’ll push through it for school or work or other necessary reasons, but I don’t want to do it on a date Edited May 14, 2021 by Cookiesandough
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