Philosopher Posted May 11, 2021 Posted May 11, 2021 After several months hiatus in online dating I have decided to get back into it. My question is, is the process for setting up dates from online dating any different now than it was pre Covid. Pre Covid the consensus seemed to be to meet up quite quickly, e.g after a couple of exchange of messages and those who took their time to meet up were possibly not that interested. Is that still generally the case, or are women genuinely more cautious in meeting up in person now due to Covid fears. Is it now the norm for women to request a video date prior to meeting up, or do they still want to meet up quite quickly.
Gaeta Posted May 11, 2021 Posted May 11, 2021 Isn't UK re-open? and aren't you all vaccinated already?
dramafreezone Posted May 11, 2021 Posted May 11, 2021 3 hours ago, Philosopher said: After several months hiatus in online dating I have decided to get back into it. My question is, is the process for setting up dates from online dating any different now than it was pre Covid. Pre Covid the consensus seemed to be to meet up quite quickly, e.g after a couple of exchange of messages and those who took their time to meet up were possibly not that interested. Is that still generally the case, or are women genuinely more cautious in meeting up in person now due to Covid fears. Is it now the norm for women to request a video date prior to meeting up, or do they still want to meet up quite quickly. What purpose would a video date serve? I got it when we literally couldn't meet up due to restrictions. I don't get the point if things are opened back up. Are you less likely to have COVID in a week or two? If she doesn't feel safe then don't date, that's a surefire way not to get COVID from a date. 1
Author Philosopher Posted May 11, 2021 Author Posted May 11, 2021 23 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Isn't UK re-open? and aren't you all vaccinated already? Currently pubs, cafes and restaurants are open but you can only sit outside. From next Monday however, you will be able sit inside. Most people above 40 are vaccinated but few in their 20’s and 30’s are yet vaccinated.
Gaeta Posted May 11, 2021 Posted May 11, 2021 In what age range are you? You were going on dates last summer in middle of covid and no vaccines around yet.
Sun Seeker Posted May 11, 2021 Posted May 11, 2021 12 minutes ago, Philosopher said: Currently pubs, cafes and restaurants are open but you can only sit outside. From next Monday however, you will be able sit inside. Most people above 40 are vaccinated but few in their 20’s and 30’s are yet vaccinated. So why would you do a video instead of meeting? I'm in London and things have been 'normal' for a while now. No excuses to not meet up.
Author Philosopher Posted May 11, 2021 Author Posted May 11, 2021 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Gaeta said: In what age range are you? You were going on dates last summer in middle of covid and no vaccines around yet. Late 30’s. I went on two dates last summer. I was more worried about catching Covid last summer than now. Now I am not worried about it. 17 minutes ago, Punterxx said: So why would you do a video instead of meeting? I'm in London and things have been 'normal' for a while now. No excuses to not meet up. I personally see nothing wrong in person dates at the moment. The issue is today one of the women I was chatting to insisted that since we are still in a lockdown so we should do a video date first. So my question is do many women want video dates first due to Covid or is this not usually the case? Edited May 11, 2021 by Philosopher
poppyfields Posted May 11, 2021 Posted May 11, 2021 (edited) From what I understand, many women prefer a video chat prior to an in-person meet even without COVID! So I think she may be using COVID as an excuse because as Punterxx said, and he's in London, it's pretty much business as usual as it is here in the US also. Personally, I never understood the pre-meet video chat. I never understood the pre-meet phone chat! Just go meet for 15-30 minutes, you can't gauge in person chemistry/energy via a video or phone chat, it's impossible. When you meet, if you connect/click, you can extend it longer. Also, and jmo, but interacting on video is extremely awkward, and you risk having things go south that way. Versus had you met in person, you might have totally clicked because it's more natural, less awkward and contrived. It's up to you though. But my suggestion is you decline the video call, and schedule an in-person meet. If she continues to make excuses, nix the whole thing, she is not all that interested. JMO. Edited May 11, 2021 by poppyfields 3
ShyViolet Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 This is kind of ridiculous. I'm so happy that I came of age as a young adult before video chats were a widespread thing, where you had to actually meet people in person and everyone didn't live their lives online. I do not like this increasing popularity of video chat "dates". To me that's not a date. Get vaccinated and then get on with life. The vaccine is widely available now. There's no reason to still live in fear of dating. 2
Author Philosopher Posted May 12, 2021 Author Posted May 12, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, poppyfields said: From what I understand, many women prefer a video chat prior to an in-person meet even without COVID! So I think she may be using COVID as an excuse because as Punterxx said, and he's in London, it's pretty much business as usual as it is here in the US also. Personally, I never understood the pre-meet video chat. I never understood the pre-meet phone chat! Just go meet for 15-30 minutes, you can't gauge in person chemistry/energy via a video or phone chat, it's impossible. When you meet, if you connect/click, you can extend it longer. Also, and jmo, but interacting on video is extremely awkward, and you risk having things go south that way. Versus had you met in person, you might have totally clicked because it's more natural, less awkward and contrived. It's up to you though. But my suggestion is you decline the video call, and schedule an in-person meet. If she continues to make excuses, nix the whole thing, she is not all that interested. JMO. I actually first suggested a phone call, but she said that would be awkward so suggested the video call, which is odd as I have always found video calls more awkward than phone calls, but I guess everyone is different. I have already suggested meeting up in person but she wants the video call first. I am going to move on from this women, whether or not she is interested, I do think there is a compatibility issue. I am very much someone who prefers in person interaction, particularly for dating. Edited May 12, 2021 by Philosopher 1
elaine567 Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 9 hours ago, ShyViolet said: Get vaccinated and then get on with life. The vaccine is widely available now. Easier said than done in the UK. There is a 12 week wait to get the second dose.
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 I think a video date is simply leveraging technology to your advantage. Look at it this way . . . you set aside 1/2 hour, you have a chat & then you have more info about whether it's worth the effort & money to meet in person. Sounds like a win to me. It seems your preference is to meet so start there. If the woman hesitates offer the video. Why make it a deal breaker?
Gaeta Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 37 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Easier said than done in the UK. There is a 12 week wait to get the second dose. Ya but your first dose protects you like 75% + and the second dose is 5-10%. We have 4 months between dose 1 and 2 here. That's 16 weeks.
elaine567 Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 17 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Ya but your first dose protects you like 75% + and the second dose is 5-10%. We have 4 months between dose 1 and 2 here. That's 16 weeks. No-one can consider themselves maximally protected until 2-3 weeks after the second dose. There is also a booster shot for the over 50's pencilled in for the autumn too...
SumGuy Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 19 hours ago, Philosopher said: After several months hiatus in online dating I have decided to get back into it. My question is, is the process for setting up dates from online dating any different now than it was pre Covid. Pre Covid the consensus seemed to be to meet up quite quickly, e.g after a couple of exchange of messages and those who took their time to meet up were possibly not that interested. Is that still generally the case, or are women genuinely more cautious in meeting up in person now due to Covid fears. Is it now the norm for women to request a video date prior to meeting up, or do they still want to meet up quite quickly. Hoping you get to a post-COVID place soon, where just show each other your vaccination cards Given that a lot of us have been involved in many, many more video meetings than we ever were before and are much more comfortable with the tech, can see video meetings being more popular especially if there is any travel distance involved. 1
DatingMom Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 I personally refuse to do video chats, even with Covid, even during a lockdown. If someone is worried, you can take a socially distanced walk. Still better than video chat in my opinion. I feel a lot of people have been using Covid as an excuse for laziness. Personally, if someone can't make the effort to meet me, then they certainly won't make the effort to date me. 1
smackie9 Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 Pre Covid people did them to make sure they say who they are, during a time when people were using out dated photos or too many above shots. So it does have it's advantages. 1
Gaeta Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 I think video chats is ok if you have 4-5 days before the face to face meeting and you want to say hello for fun. I made contact with a man on Monday. He lives in my city but he's 3500 km away on a business trip till Friday so we text, send pictures, send videos of each other, he use the videocam to show me Calgary. It's fun! it's light! 4
Miss Peach Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 19 hours ago, poppyfields said: From what I understand, many women prefer a video chat prior to an in-person meet even without COVID! So I think she may be using COVID as an excuse because as Punterxx said, and he's in London, it's pretty much business as usual as it is here in the US also. Personally, I never understood the pre-meet video chat. I never understood the pre-meet phone chat! Just go meet for 15-30 minutes, you can't gauge in person chemistry/energy via a video or phone chat, it's impossible. When you meet, if you connect/click, you can extend it longer. I would be a bit turned off if a guy wanted to do a video chat with things so open now. I would prefer a guy to suggest a walk, coffee, drink, etc. if he wanted a low investment meeting option. It's always best to do that near places you can extend the date if desired. I am a woman who prefers a phone call if I meet someone on OLD. This is mostly because I don't really have a strong physical type and am fluid on a number of things. I connect more on chemistry which I can't gauge from a profile. It's not uncommon for me to get asked out several times per week IRL. Adding OLD I might be trying to filter out many more men. I only have X amount of time to go on dates without sacrificing other parts of my life. I tend to put guys I meet IRL on a higher footing because I know chemistry and whether I would at least enjoy the conversation/evening even if it's not a love connection. With OLD I usually don't have as much information so I'm going in blind. So I use the phone screen to check for some level of chemistry or clarify iffy things on the profile. So if a guy passes that it increases my interest and puts him more on even footing with the guys I meet IRL. 1
dramafreezone Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, d0nnivain said: I think a video date is simply leveraging technology to your advantage. Look at it this way . . . you set aside 1/2 hour, you have a chat & then you have more info about whether it's worth the effort & money to meet in person. Sounds like a win to me. It seems your preference is to meet so start there. If the woman hesitates offer the video. Why make it a deal breaker? You just lose something over video. Maybe less emotional engagement. Then it's, "well I just didn't feel a connection." I just think it's unnecessarily getting in your own way. It's different when you're dressed to the nines, you have on cologne/perfume, you're in a socially conditioned environment to be your best. Put yourself in the best position to succeed. Edited May 12, 2021 by dramafreezone 1
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 I'm not saying a video "date" is ideal but to me it seems like that is a better 1st meet than some brightly lit coffee shop.
glows Posted May 12, 2021 Posted May 12, 2021 It depends on the individual. Men suggest video dates also. It's usually out of respect, I think, as an alternate suggestion depending on how comfortable the other person may be and a way to test the waters or speak about the pandemic or restrictions currently. Personally, I like going out.
Author Philosopher Posted May 13, 2021 Author Posted May 13, 2021 18 hours ago, glows said: It depends on the individual. Men suggest video dates also. It's usually out of respect, I think, as an alternate suggestion depending on how comfortable the other person may be and a way to test the waters or speak about the pandemic or restrictions currently. Personally, I like going out. Before last year I would usually suggest a phone call and have a short phone call to arrange meeting up. I think some women do prefer it, however usually if you try to call there would be no answer. Some women would refuse to exchange phone numbers, which pre covid meant meeting up was the only option. Now with dating sites often having an option for voice / video calls that may be different. If their messaging suggests they are very keen to meet up, I will normally suggest meeting up without any phone call.
Miss Spider Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 (edited) Too many important elements missing. For example, language/gesticulations are largely lost. Like when your date is talking to you they lean in really close and gaze into your eyes,. You can almost feel it physically and it makes the moment more intimate without saying a word. Can’t do that on cam. Touch /physical proximity( not talking about sex or evening kissing) but just like feeling them close to you and their ‘energy’ ( for lack of a better word) is important to me. Being able to put my hand on their arm to flirt etc, it’s all gone. Scent is important to me too. It just feels very inorganic, in general. But I think that’s normal Edited May 13, 2021 by Cookiesandough 2
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2021 Posted May 13, 2021 (edited) All those things are lost via text too, even more so, yet there are hundreds of people on this site constantly crying about somebody's texting habits. All I'm saying is that a request for a video date should not be a deal breaker. Rather it's a 1st step to see it's worth making the effort to actually go meet the person. If I had done this, I would have saved myself the awkwardness of meeting the few socially backward men I met through OLD. Edited May 13, 2021 by d0nnivain
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