Uruktopi Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 (edited) 17 hours ago, moonface said: I love you very much as a person........ You once said that you want romance to remain in the relationship.... We also miss the sexual charge from our relationship and feel like we are friends who sleep together.... I can’t do this for so long and I tried but I don’t see how it would change in me to have sexual attraction towards you.... I love you as a person but you want more.... You were also right that I didn’t want to get to know your friends.... 17 hours ago, moonface said: You can also walk our dog sometimes if you'd like. All I can say is that all the above, even if not understood as YOUR will to end the relationship (and that is like it sounds) would give HIM enough reasons to break with you by his own initiative. Edited May 10, 2021 by Uruktopi 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 2 minutes ago, Uruktopi said: All I can say is that all the above, even if not understood as YOUR will to end the relationship (and that is like it sounds) would give HIM enough reasons to break with you by his own initiative. Exactly. I would never want to be with someone who said these things to me regardless of that person’s intent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Uruktopi Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, hippychick3 said: Exactly. I would never want to be with someone who said these things to me regardless of that person’s intent. I agree with you. And... And... And... "You can also walk our dog sometimes if you'd like. " This says it all what may be needed to be said. Edited May 10, 2021 by Uruktopi Link to post Share on other sites
assertives Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 (edited) I read that as a break up message too. It sounded pretty final, that you have decided, it's non-negotiable and that you see no way things could possibly change. So I'm not sure why you are expecting him to respond differently than he did. Also, if breaking up wasn't your intention, why would your response to him saying he respects your decision if he's not able to make you happy be about walking the dog sometimes?? Wouldn't that be your cue that things weren't going according to your plan (of not breaking up) and that he has read you wrong? If he had any confusion about your intentions with the initial text, that comment with walking the dog just totally took all confusion out for him. In any case, based off on what you've written here, it's probably better that you guys are broken up. It doesn't sound like the right relationship for either of you. Edited May 10, 2021 by assertives 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 21 hours ago, moonface said: I didn't want to break up with him, I just wanted to tell my feelings. I sent him the message below and he figured I was breaking up and he never tried to stop it. Was my message below that unclear? I am pissed off because he never asked me where I was going with this message, he automatically assumed I was breaking up. Didn't want to break up with him? Or didn't want to break up with him just yet? You wanted him to stop you and to "Discuss", what do you mean by discuss? Him begging/fighting for him to stick around you, that would have given you a huge ego boost, is that what you were after? Begging or fighting for "You" will never benefit him, as you will loose attraction when he shows this weakness. Then what, you put him on an "Improvement Notice" for a few months while you look around for his replacement? Once you have the replacement you can just bring up the dump text and you are off the hook for any questionable actions. This is a common game... It's time to believe everything you told him in the text, let him go. Move on to someone that you can be happy with, someone that you can value, and have respect for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 (edited) On 5/9/2021 at 6:42 AM, moonface said: I was thinking he will want to talk about this with me in person. I could be wrong, but it sounded like you were bored with him and the relationship, meh. So, this is just a hunch but you thinking he would want to talk about it --> were you hoping your message would light a fire under his butt, elicit some passion in him, stir things up, add some excitement, that's been missing? Push/pull, except this was an extreme PUSH, and it pushed him right out the door for good. Both men and women are guilty of this. Often unconsciously. I cant think of any other reason you wouid send a message like that but NOT want it to be over. Because as others have said, that was a break up message, definitely, there was no other way to interpret unless you were playing some sort of "love game" with him. Edited May 10, 2021 by poppyfields Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 On 5/9/2021 at 4:01 AM, moonface said: Him: I don't think it is a good idea to keep seeing each other now. When can I drop your stuff off? This guy was already wanting to be done, or at the very least feeling like the relationship was hopeless, and he's probably glad you did the dirty work. He didn't even try to talk it out or anything, or confirm what you meant by asking questions. I could be wrong, but I get the feeling you thought he was going to come after you or plead. Link to post Share on other sites
Uruktopi Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 "Everything is about sex, except sex, which is about power" (Frecuently attibuted to Oscar Wilde but probably from Michael Cunningham) Almost the same can, sadly, be said about other interactions in some and a lot of relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
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