Eunice0516 Posted May 8, 2021 Posted May 8, 2021 I was married for 21 years. My husband filed for divorce June 2020 after he cheated on me with a girl half his age. I met another man the beginning of sept 2020. He was there for me during my divorce, during lung surgery and during my move out of my home. We hung out twice a week. Every week. We decided in feb 2021 that we were actually dating but then the end of March I noticed he started to pull back. I still spoke to him everyday but not as often. When I confronted him he said he thought he should be feeling different and he wasn’t after we had been hanging out for 6 months. He didn’t know if he wanted to introduce me to his kids since he had many women in and out of his life as a child. We broke up April 10 but we still see each other. We are always intimate. He said he cares for me but he doesn’t know how to feel. He’s got anxiety and depression I think. He hates his job which makes everything worse for him. I have feelings for him. I enjoy hanging out with him. But this friends with benefits sometimes gives me anxiety. What do I do? Why does he call, text and hang out if he can’t commit to a relationship? Sometimes it’s very confusing. Just looking for some direction or advice.
glows Posted May 9, 2021 Posted May 9, 2021 (edited) Decide what you want and then follow through. You don't have to worry too far ahead and you don't have to worry about him. You are not his therapist and he should be managing his anxiety and depression with his medical providers. If this isn't suited to you, end it peaceably and wish him the best. There's no reason to be intimate with an ex especially if it so uneasy for you. I guarantee you the weight of the world will be lifted from your shoulders and your days will be far sunnier. It'll take time to adjust since you have feelings for him but it'll fade off in time. Edited May 9, 2021 by glows
d0nnivain Posted May 9, 2021 Posted May 9, 2021 If you want commitment, being FWB is the wrong way to get that. He was a crutch at a time when your world was being tossed upside down. It was lovely that he was there for you but this may have run its course. It's time for you to stand on your own two feet to find out who you are without a man, as a single adult. It will be hard but in the end it will be good for you.
Wiseman2 Posted May 9, 2021 Posted May 9, 2021 17 hours ago, Eunice0516 said: We broke up April 10 but we still see each other. We are always intimate. He said he cares for me but he doesn’t know how to feel. Sorry this happened. Do you mean he wants to be FWB or friends? Either way, he's not into serious dating.
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