How should I take all these remarks from guys???

October 17, 2005

Howdy,

I need your help. I've posted here to threads about my current dilemma, but I have some other issues I've been thinking about and I'm not sure what to think about them, mainly because they've only been creeping up recently.

Nothing has happened with the guy I really like. I haven't seen him since the beginning of june, but he calls me a lot, about once a week, and keeps in touch. He calls me as opposed to me calling him. It's not like I'm calling him and he's talking to me only because I called, you know? He could easily just drift away and stop talking to me. So to call me that often he must be thinking, oh i want to call her and see what's new. Yes? And I know my 2 options are to give up or to say something. And I think to myself there's probably nothing there on his end despite his flirting and things he says to me on the phone and little flirty touching things he did at work, because i haven't seen him in 5 months. But then, I think, I haven't really made a move on him so he might not be making a move on me for the same reasons. Am I really insane to think that way?

I really need to figure it out with him but I don't think i can tell him; i know if i tried i would get all choked up and nothing would come out of my mouth anyway.

My other problem is that I talk on AIM a lot to friends I went to college with or know from college. One guy is older like the guy i like (I'll be 23 in a few weeks and they're like 27 and 28) and he's cool. But he's always trying to get me to OPEN UP and he can be kind of perverted "whatcha wearin' :::waggle waggle:::" and so on but he'll say things like "you're very attractive," and so on. And I'm like thanks, stop hitting on me. and he's like i'm not hitting on you, i just want you to know that. I don't understand why other people open up to me and others dont.

Then there's Dave. I've known him since I was a freshman but we didnt really hang out until my senior year and i talk to him online occassionaly, but lately he'll say things. After i saw him briefly at homecoming i talked to him online the following day and asked if he had fun and he was like "yep. You looked good. :p" And last night he kept going "so whatcha wearing?" and i was like "My awesome *school name* college tshirt!" and he was like hoottt take it off :)" i was lilke "you're such a pervert" and he's like "i'm unattached now, i can say those things"

Then there's this other friend who's kinda shy and stuff but he messages me ALL the time and sometimes maybe it seems like he might like me but he would never do anything but he could also just be more comfortable around me now that we've all hung out so much more.

Then there's a couple other guys who message me all the time.

My point is, they're seeking me out.

yes, i've had some self esteem issues about people liking me, but it's cause in college i couldnt get many people to take notice of me. People just seemed stand offish and stuff. I'd be introduced to them and they'd seem disinterested to talk to me right off the bat adn they didn't even know me enough to not like me, but would go out o ftheir way to talk to my roommate and give her all this attention. So i'm seeing these things I mentioned above and i'm like okay. so i'm really not that much of a loser afterall. but why more so all of a sudden??? It's not like i had plastic surgery to make me look better or that i've suddenly changed into a much cooler person.

I'm just trying to figure out why the guy I like isn't asking me out. I get all these signals from other people, so i must be at least a little bit cool. And it makes me think that maybe he DOES like me. Rather than the "yeah right why would he" attitude that keeps creeping up on me when i'm down.

i went out to the bar with a friend and this kinda dorky guy came up to us and bought us drinks and i ended up dancing with him a bit and i did go out with him 1ce. but he doesnt call me or anything. he txt msgs me and asks me what i'm doing. he's very forward. but he doesnt CALL me. and i'm not interested enough to push it sooo....but im like why is HE sooo interested? he doesnt really know me so it couldnt be a personality factor.

but then at my shy friends party on saturday one of his obnoxious friends goes to me "are you nervous? dont be nervous. you got like this shield around you." he puts his hand out then jerks it back and goes zzzt! like he got zapped. and he's like "that's like 2 feet" and his friend goes "damn that's like 2 and a HALF feet" i was like what the hell??? and our friend mike's like "it's called PERSONAL SPACE." good ole mike

But I'm wondering if maybe somehow i do have this like invisible barrier I put up around myself that tells guys not to come near me? but then with my crush, i've flirted and joked and teased him just as much as he did it to me. so im not showing complete disinterest in him. he's the one who started giving all the "SIGNS" so what gives!?

I can be very dense and I can see things as they are but i always think negatively just b/c i guess i dont want to get hurt or i dont want to take something the wrong way and look like a retard.

what does anyone think?????? Why suddenly more attention?

October 19, 2005

everything each of these guys is doing is designed to get you in bed.

Same with Mr shield, old trick to accuse girl of having barrier up, so that you let him touch you....he eventually touches you in such a way as to turn you on.

October 19, 2005

Most likely these guys find you attractive but get conflicting signals from you so they have difficulty mustering the courage to take it to the next step. It is the fear of rejection. The guy who mentioned the shield around you made the point, jokingly. But he has a point, most likely.

There is no way to draw any conclusion beyond that. But, the guy you like just give him some encouragement like "we should get together some time" or even suggest something specific. Take a little initiative.

October 19, 2005

It sounds like you have difficulty interpreting social cues and this making things awfully confusing for you.

I assume you are in your twenties?

Guys become more aggressive in their twenties than they are in their teens, in terms of pursuing girls. They tend to have more confidence (although many are still insecure) and MOST feel the pressure to be sexually active. If they weren't as teenagers, they feel they MUST be in their twenties.

I knew a number of guys who were 'slow bloomers' in H.S. so once they entered young adulthood, they pursued dating and sex with a great deal of vigor and enthusiasm!

My take on this is that you are neck-deep in a pool of young, eager males....

AND you have become acutely aware of their interest in females!

Now some may actually be interested in YOU, yourself. Some are just interested in THE FEMALE SPECIES, as a whole. The swaggering, flirting, etc. is typical male behavior (part social conditioning, part instinctual and part male interpretation of 'this is how women expect me to act')

I think the fact that you are socially insecure makes all this quite overwhelming.

I think a good way to become more socially comfortable is to do things you enjoy with a couple of friends you really trust and like.

I wouldn't worry a great deal about how the men are behaving.

If you really like someone, invite them out to do something. If they are not interested, then take it as a 'not interested' sign. And don't take it to heart. Men have to ask out women all the time and many of them dread getting shot down, so that's why they often don't. Especially when it's someone they really like.

By the way, if big parties and crowded bars make you uncomfortable (and trust me, many people don't like these scenes) then avoid them.

There are plenty of other ways to meet people who share your interests.

You may be giving out 'vibes' because the crowd you are with doesn't make you comfortable. Or perhaps you are trying to fit into a scene that isn't really 'you'.

Do you have hobbies you enjoy? Do you belong to a volunteer group? Do you attend church? Do you have a job in an environment that feels comfortable? Do you have some close, true friends you enjoy spending time with?

Take a look at the life you've been building and assess how closely it actually fits who you are and what you like to do.

I've noticed that people who often feel uncomfortable or like 'losers' are usually just in an environment that doesn't fit their particular personality or psychological makeup. Some people are more introverted and thoughtful than others. They NEED some personal space.

That doesn't mean you should actively avoid people and situations every time they come up, however. There are a lot of social cues you can learn to pick up on and it will make your interactions with people more pleasant.

Some important ones are:

* Giving people eye contact

* Smiling

* Asking them questions about themselves

* Allowing for two-way conversations (in other words, don't monopolize)

* Using body language that says 'I'm comfortable with you' (i.e. arms uncrossed, leaning forward, legs and feet NOT jiggling)

Hope this was helpful

October 19, 2005

everything each of these guys is doing is designed to get you in bed.
Same with Mr shield, old trick to accuse girl of having barrier up, so that you let him touch you....he eventually touches you in such a way as to turn you on.

AMEN!!!!

at the ages these guys are 21-28.....they are using and practicing all these cheesey-arse lines..to see which ones work.

they are also "learning" how to weasel women into bed (ifyou let them go there).

you sound like me when i was your age....execpt i used the guys i knew for their penis experience..... It can work both ways, if you want to go there.

October 20, 2005

Somethings u guys say make sense but some are still a little unclear. me, im not really intimidated by crowded places. i dont have any phobias like that. i love going downtown to the bars. as for my crush, when we worked together we as a group did go to the bars a few times and he came out and met me out with some friends once but after that, i've asked him to come out a couple times but he was always busy. the thing with that is that at least 2 of the 3 times i knwo he really was busy, and when i asked i kinda new he had to do these things, helping a friend move to the other sdie of hte state... since he was doing them every weekend he had off but i was kinda hoping that particular weekend he wasnt. he's all like yeah yeah i wanna hang out...and i'd sorta take this not coming as not interested but then why's he keep calling me and keep in touch wihtout hanging out at all? even if he considers me just a good pal that he met last year, dont u think it'd make since, living only about 5 mi from each other that we'd do something?

we had a convo about relationships. he brought it up. basically he says if a guy likes a girl he pretends like he doesnt. and i was like but then the girl is going to be like screw this and you'll never get her. and he was like pretty much. he once said tho that if a guy likes a girl, you'll know it. i was like no no no no....your "facts" are all a bunch of bs.

i dont know why he was brining that subject up again. there was a LOT of flirting and things when we worked together. he's 28. i'd say after all this time he's not really interested but then why all this flirting and leading me on?

as for my friends, i dont think its a question of trying to get me into bed....its just kinda sudden they are being more flirty and stuff. its just i dont get why my friends go thru boyfriends and find htem so easily and when *I* try really hard i can't get anywhere. EVER.

October 21, 2005

its just i dont get why my friends go thru boyfriends and find htem so easily and when *I* try really hard i can't get anywhere. EVER.

yeah, lookin' at your avatar, I don't get it either

October 21, 2005

...and when *I* try really hard i can't get anywhere. EVER.

Therein may lie the solution to your issue: Don't *try* so hard.

If you put in so much effort in this case guys may be turned off because you may be perceived as desperate. Ease up and just enjoy your friends and activities and *it* will happen when the time is right.

Think of sleeping. Ever *try* to go to sleep? Difficult, isn't it? If you don't *try* it just happens. Same thing with relationships.

October 24, 2005

To the OP, do you like any of these guys that are hitting on you? If you don't, then blow it off, unless it becomes harassment.

Guys don't like to be caught, so them saying that they aren't hitting on you, is there defense. What they are looking for, is you to respond back to them. Either saying your a perv like you do, or saying do you want to go out sometime. If you like one or more of them, why not ask them to go out with you. Perhaps as a group (you and them and 1, 2, 3, 4, of your other friends) or something if there is any trust issues. But most likely they do like you. Men are not all about getting someone in bed, some are, but there are some that are not.

On the other guy, well, it sounds like one of two things 1) he isn't interested, or the most likely 2) he is afraid of rejection. If you like him, pursue him, ask him out, ask him to come over, or go to the movies with you or something. But don't wait around for him to come to you, he is either afraid or he is simply not interested in you that way. And if you do ask him out, let him know that it isn't as friends, and see what happens.

October 26, 2005

hmm yeah. see i do not do any of the calling. like i said and he calls me tonite but i was charging my phone. and he's like hey its me, i was just calling, seeing what was up, i haven't talked to you in like a week, so give me a call back, ok bye.....

and as for the other guys. they're my friends and i dont really want to persue anything more with them. i mean i love them to death but im not attracted to them and i dont like them in that kind of way.

i guess if it is meant to be it is meant to be. i just wish i could speed things up with life to see where i am in a year. :/

October 27, 2005

OK, I have another interesting thing that happened to me. The thing is, I NEVER EVER have EVER had guys making any sort of....moves, heck i could barely get people to acknowledge me. Let alone just have a guy friend.

But this guy i used to work with, hes in his 40s or something and we weren't close, we'd all chit chat here and there on breaks or whatnot...so i text msg him back and forth sometimes. But i text other people at that place too like Shonna and the guy i like.....and so on...but he text messaged me "hey i have a gift cert to ....restaurant. want to go to lunch or dinner sometime."

i was like wait ohhh wait did i just dream this? so what does that mean? he is a bachelor, he's had several wives, he's cool but im so totally not into him like that. he's just cool to text message and to keep in touch with the people over at that old job u know...so suddenly he sends me like 3 pictures messages of his dogs with sayings and now im getting kidna weirded out.

see what i mean though, i am getting alllll these weird things happening so its kidna boosting my self-confidence a little but at the same time its like what the heck is going on with the one i like.

is there anything in it that he calls me like every week? i give up on calling him. i just let him call me and he does! it's like magic! like i said in his last voicemail i feel like there's something in the way he left hte msg that im not sure how to read. like he's like "hey what up it me. yeah that was me speaking ebonics, you'll appreciate it (funny weirdo), anyway i haventtalkedtoyouinlikeaweek so give me a call back sometime, alright talk to you later" he spoke up real fast and stuff like he was tryin to get it all out. i know when i leave messages and i get a little nervous i tend to like screw up the message, but he doesnt usually leave message like that, like he's saying wow i havnet talked to u in forever." but i dont want to look like a retard and ask him to do something at the wrong time when he really cant, why doesnt he just say i can't. i'd understand it if he didnt call me so darn much!!!!

October 27, 2005

he's definitely trying his luck with you

October 30, 2005

um....i'm not sure what you mean by that?

October 30, 2005

hmm, yer not gettin' it? ok, here goes....

i was like wait ohhh wait did i just dream this? so what does that mean?

you're leading him on and, from the looks of it, he thinks he's got a chance with you. Guys don't just text one-on-one with a girl with only friendship in mind. know what I mean

he's just cool to text message and to keep in touch with the people over at that old job u know

Like I said, yer leading him on and I think you're enjoying it

so suddenly he sends me like 3 pictures messages of his dogs with sayings and now im getting kidna weirded out.

why should you be? Because you think his dogs need new friends?

is there anything in it that he calls me like every week?

duh.... yeah!!

but i dont want to look like a retard and ask him to do something at the wrong time when he really cant, why doesnt he just say i can't.

I didn't get this part.

i'd understand it if he didnt call me so darn much!!!!

you sound a little contradictory here.

Anyhow, maybe you just need to hear from others what your instincts are already telling you? All I'm saying is ..... it's not just friendship he's looking for.

October 30, 2005

Hmmm there are two different people i am talking about. this 40 some year old guy is the one i text message every once in a while (once a week or two) and has the dogs and is the bachelor.

The guy I like is hte one i haven't seen in 5 months but always calls me! But won't ask me out or to just get together and I've invited him out as a group setting and he came out a couple times when we still worked together, but our schedules haven't matched, but we COULD get together, i just....dont want to keep asking and look retarded.....should i ask again when i go out with friends?

October 30, 2005

oooh.... I get you now! These are two different puppies here :laugh: You wrote like they're the same guy.

ok, I re-read the entire thread, but I didn't read your previous ones. So.....

If I were the guy you liked..... yes, I'd say you're right about him liking you. But that was back then. As for now, I'm not too sure. See, the same thing happened to me before. When I don't get the response from the girl after making all the effort (I mean c'mon, he does all the calling) I'd lose the interest after a while; and that goes for the feelings too. But, yeah, I would still make the effort to call her if I'm still not with anyone (provided she's not indicated that I should back off).

But yeah, you don't sound like you're very good at flirting And men, in general, will find that a little standoffish, especially when you don't respond to any flirting. That true with you?

There's another angle to this. If I dig a girl, and she doesn't seem to show much interest, I'd assume she might've put me in her friends zone. So, if she asks me out in a group setting, chances are I'd say no. I mean, what's the point in deluding myself into thinking there's something more to it when there really isn't? And if she's standoffish, I also wouldn't risk my pride in asking her out directly. But, then again, that's just me.

My suggestion ( take it with a pinch of salt though ) is that, if you're really interested in him, you really should take the initiative. C'mon girl, don't take it for granted that the guy will always ask; that's old. Ask him out yourself, on a one-to-one setting. If he says no, you'll have your answer, but I seriously doubt he'll say no. You got nothing to lose. He's already done all the calling. Give him a break

November 2, 2005

OK, I get what you mean by the "he does all the calling" = me not interested. I was thinking of it more along the lines of him being interested by callng me. I call him sometimes. It's hard, we play a lot of phone tag cause our schedules are goofy.

But I think I did show some interest in him, plus he was the one making comments to people about how he would never date a coworker. I don't know if that was a "in general" remark or maybe to make me back off? Not that I was hitting on him exactly, he's hte one who started all the flirting and stuff, like...i'd be leaning agasint the cubical talking to someone and he'd come up to give me the dept cell phone for while he was on break and instead of just handing it to me he sidles up next to me till he's touching and gives me the phone. Other things were bumping into me, or kicking my foot when he walked past, or walking past me and pushing on my arm so i'd almost fall over sideways or always asking me when i went to lunch break and this whole weird thing, we did Over time and always the same days and stuff, like he'd ask and i'd ask if we were staying and we always left work together and walked out to our cars.

I would normally dish the jokes and teasing right back to him. So i dont think i was showing him that i wasnt interested.

plus, even if he is dong most of the calling, i've asked him to come hang out. i know u say doing it as a group thing is probably not a good thing but other people have told me to start out that way.

So let me ask you this:

today's my birthday, and one of these weekends this month (when harry potter comes out, yeah!!) my friends i think are taking me out the following night and my friend nikki (who i confide all this stuff too) who is just as confused as i am about this guy, is like i'll call him and invite him. do u think that's a good idea? now relaly she doesnt have his number but she did meet him once. adn its not unlike her to call people up like that. im just afraid she might tell him stuff that'll embarrass me, but at the same time i kind of want her to since im too chicken. i mean i just dont even know how to bring up that subject to him. i get really nervous and i cant speak, i just clam up, so that's the problem.

i might give him a call tonite tho so im not "deluding him into thinking im not interested".

thanks for all your imput!

November 2, 2005

First off, happy birthday

and my friend nikki (who i confide all this stuff too) who is just as confused as i am about this guy, is like i'll call him and invite him. do u think that's a good idea?

That would be the best idea ever...... NOT!

im just afraid she might tell him stuff that'll embarrass me,

She most likely will, even if she's your best friend. Ya know why? Nikki will be cornered the minute he asks her why don't you call him yourself. And, friend or not, she'll be under a lot of pressure to 'leak' a little information to him; information you rather she didn't 'leak'. You'd look rather stupid then, wouldn't you think? Plus, his impression of you would change. For better or worse I dunno.

but at the same time i kind of want her to since im too chicken.

:lmao: Ah, security in numbers....

i get really nervous and i cant speak, i just clam up, so that's the problem.

Now, this really explains it all

i might give him a call tonite tho so im not "deluding him into thinking im not interested".

Ok, I was about to say 'Call, oh call....'

But somewhere in your last post, you mentioned that he's your coworker. So, you need to keep in mind that things could get real ugly if they're not handled right. I really wanna tell you to pass, because that's what I would do. Coworker relationships are really really like treading thru a minefield. But, if you think it's worth a try, go slow. The second you think he's not really interested, back off. You don't wanna be the subject of the office rumor mill

Anyhow, if you do decide to pursue it, I still think the first date should be a one-on-one setting. Good luck and keep us posted.

November 2, 2005

I am addicted to this place, looks like you are too!!!

Im sorry, i guess i am not very clear on things when I type. I forget to mention important things and what not. To clear up a few things before I head to work in a bit....we're not longer co workers anymore, not since june...so that's where that little no dating co workers thing came in i just forgot to meantion that's a thing of the past...not coworkers anymore!!! I agree though, it'd be treading bad water trying to hook up while working together, but we were just temps. Seems that dept IS however a dating mill as i hear about all the other people who date each other and no longer work there! Ironic huh.....

I think the point of Nikki inviting him is because she wants to plan a birthday outting, prob just to the bars and she's inviting bunch of people, so why not him? I've no problem asking him to do something, as I have in the past, but if i was asking him out on a date, i'd freeze up...plus if i saw him i might get a better angle on how he feels and maybe other people can tell too....but our schedules are so goofy, I don't know how to plan something. I mean, i've asked him if he wants to do something and he says yes. and he's even brought it up like "i thought we were supposed to do something in september"...but i told nikki, i dont want to ask again and look like a retard and that's when she said she'd invite him to my bday party b/c she's not past looking like a retard for her best friend....so i was like hmmm ok. and i said but i dont trust you, u might tell him i want to marry him or something! and she said "i might, but you can just blame it on me being drunk and you tried to take the phone away but i punched your arm and knocked you out while we were dancing because we are crazy girls" adn i was like im sure he'll blieve that about you, anyway :p"

i liked him before he started the flirting stuff, but i put it out of my mind b/c i was like why would he like me. then he started it and it came flooding back.

if there were other guys who were interested in me or something, i'd try to move on but i have nothing to move onto which is why im stuck in this rut.

if we are at a friends stage, whats the big deal with him coming to hang out? I dont think its a bad idea, tho if i think too much i prob will change my mind. I'll have to think about it more i guess. Hopefully that post wasnt confusing, but im sure it was!!!

November 2, 2005

I am addicted to this place, looks like you are too!!!

Who me? Addicted? Nawww....

If I don't log on this site for just a single day, my mouth will foam a little. But that's about all

So he's not your coworker no more? Well, THAT changes the equation quite a bit.

I guess since you'll freeze up and probably collapse on the spot on a one-on-one setting , the next better thing would be the group setting . Since he's no longer your coworker, the stakes are really much lower. Bring your support group.... Nikki, Candy, Lollipop or whoever ..... and just go out and have fun. I guess the point here is for him to KNOW that you dig him. And, from there, see what happens. Good luck and do post.

November 3, 2005

Oh no, I hear foaming at the mouth means you got it baaaaaddd...

I haven't started foaming....yet...so many people have soooo many problems, I guess that's what keeps things interesting while we're all being tortured.

Sort of began my day here, might as well end here as well

Talked to him tonite. Called him myself. That isn't hard. He'd been planning on moving to Harrisburg. First July, then Aug, then after xmas, then end of oct. then someone told me he wasn't moving now for some reason, but he said tonite he is planning on jan 1 unless some other job thing works out better...blah blah. I was like make up your mind.

We talked about random stuff. Nothing all that interesting. I keep going back adn forth between whether i'd want him to come out with us. Ultimately i guess i do...i guess i figure there's no sense...why can't i meet anyone else tho? I do go out and do things sociallly i mean....and that stuff i started this post with about these remarks about guys....and how they way they talked to me has changed, has got me soooooooo confused!!! people who didnt really talk to me chatter away now and say things like 'hey cutie what's up' or something. its like argh!!

i know guys can be shy and girls can be outgoing, the variables are numerous...i guess if i just came out and said something that'd put an end to it...and i think about it, saying things or just saying hey u wanna catch lunch sometime...but ultimately i'll ask at a time when he'll have to work or something. i'll be like 'im going to such and such, but i have to wait for her, so u wanna have lunch with me since i havent seen you in forever" and he'd be like "i have to work tomorrow" u know, stuff like that happens so im afraid to ask anymore and look like a retard for pushing and being a nag.

oh well.

November 5, 2005

Why do we all make hooking up so terribley convoluted and Machiavellian? It's a wonder any of us can stand each other. ****.

November 8, 2005

Nice big words. Had to use a thesauraus. Tell me, are you married, seeing anyone....? How do YOU do it then?

November 10, 2005

Here is another word for Milo, pedantic.

November 20, 2005

ok i need a loooooooot of help from you posters now!!!!!

Here's what happened this week/last night...

I talked to scott on monday when he called me. i was on the phone with shonna (who he knows thru our temp job) and he called so i got off with her and i told him she said hi and he thought i was hanging out with her so i corrected him and then he goes "oh, i was going to say, you better not be hanging out with shonna without inviting me!" (so why dont we ever see each other then?) So after a few minutes, I thought instead of asking him to come out and him have plans and me look like a retard I asked "what are you doing friday night.....pause.....are you going to see harry potter?!" so he mentioned playing poker....so then i brought up saturday night, and then he mentioned that actually poker was saturday and he was going to just stay home friday. i think i was like geez, i'm not asking you anymore, and he's like 'oh what come on...' and i was like 'well you never come!" and so i was like so how late does poker run and he said 8- 4. so i was like well play till like 11 adn then come hang out with us. so then he's like well im teaching the guy sfrom work so it might not really last that long. i'll call you later in the weeek and let you know. so i was like ok and dropped the subject.

so the week went by, saturday came, and around noon he called and said after the game wraps up he'll probably come out.

usually the guy doesnt respond to text messages. but he texted me and said no poker. be there around 9:30-10. i was like sweet.

strange. poker game cancelled?

so we're at the bar and we sorta talked but since it was loud nad i had lost my voice it was hard to talk to him and then i couldnt even think of anything to talk about. shonna was there. so nikki and i were talking by ourselves and she was like if you want to make a move i can give u some tips...i was ike i just dont think he's interested or whatever i havent even seen him in 6 months. and she's like i think he does like you, he's just not sure what YOU are interested in...and he's not going to call you like he does if he didn't. Which i had kind of figured out but couldnt tell if it was a friends thing or what....

so she tried to get him to sit down adn stuff but it conveniently never worked. but anyway, we all left the bar.

when i got home i texted shonna nd him to check and make sure they got home ok. about 10 min later i get a text from him that he's almost home and he says "do you want to get something to eat after work this week?"

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!!!!!!!!!!???????????? i was like omg!!!!!! cause he never initiates anything. so how do i take that? and what made him decide to do that. i dont think the evening when particularly well in the social dept between mea nd him. but suddenly......

so im not sure what to do now! I replied back and said 'sure but probably best to wait till i get my voice back'

SO.....what is the message behind his question?????? Is that a date or just a hang out.....i dont know what to do about like paying and stuff! like if he IS paying does that mean it IS a date, or how do i know if im supposed to pay my share?!? i have these prob sometimes with just my girl friends too...but so if he does pick up the check do i say anything like what's my half or just let him pay and say thanks after?? of course i'd thank him but i just feel awkward about those things!

now if he worded it differently when i talk to him next if he says anything like 'i want to take you out.' something more along those lines that's more clear but 'do you want to get dinner' is a little more vague in the what do you want department.

ok this is kind of embarrassing to ask....ok i've kissed a few guys before....but they've all been guys who i wasnt like friends with first or knew for very long....but so what if he is making a move now for some reason out of the blue....(nikki PROMISED she didnt say a thing and im not sure when she would have had a chance......) and he does kiss me, what do i do or say after?! i've known him for a year so it would be...different....i mean i can just see it ending and then me standing there looking like a retard and not know what to say.....

please, some advice!!!!!!

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