1Jessie86 Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 My husband wants a vasectomy now. We've been married for two years and we're both 34. We have our first child (1yr) and are for the most part in agreement to be one and done. For some reason I'm still hesitant to agree to this procedure. Is this not fair for my husband? I'm not sure why I'm hesitant. We're currently living overseas. It's my first time away from friends, family and my career as a nurse. Would it be selfish of me to ask my husband to wait until we return to the states at the end of the year to have the procedure?
FMW Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 3 hours ago, 1Jessie86 said: We have our first child (1yr) and are for the most part in agreement to be one and done. It seems your hesitancy is because you're not really in agreement with only having the one child. It's not about being selfish, it's about needing to communicate clearly and honestly with your husband. 6
mark clemson Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 Generally, couples need to make reasonable compromises to make a LTR work. Waiting until the end of the year isn't an unreasonable ask IMO. However, I think FMW brings up a very good point. Perhaps his eagerness to go forward with it, and your hesitancy indicate in part that you have very different priorities here.
Wiseman2 Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 5 hours ago, 1Jessie86 said: My husband wants a vasectomy now. We've been married for two years and we're both 34. We have our first child (1yr) and are for the most part in agreement to be one and done. It's his body, his decision. It's an office procedure so why wait until you are back in your country?
Dolfin80 Posted May 29, 2021 Posted May 29, 2021 I’m currently dating a guy who has had a vasectomy and omfg best sex I’ve ever had, we do it everywhere cause I don’t have to worry about condoms or taking the pill. You can do IVF if you change your mind after vasectomy, they just use a syringe to get the sperm out of his balls.
Happy Lemming Posted May 29, 2021 Posted May 29, 2021 On 5/7/2021 at 7:03 AM, 1Jessie86 said: Would it be selfish of me to ask my husband to wait until we return to the states at the end of the year to have the procedure? Are you and your husband more comfortable with the doctors in the United States (as compared to where you are residing, presently)?? As far as medical procedures (especially elective ones), I think I would want to be in my home country to have them done. If something should go wrong, you would be in your home country with a better support system (friends, family, etc). I know its a simple procedure, but if it were me... I still think I'd want to be home to have it done. Keep in mind, that a backup birth control method will have to be used for approximately 3 months after the procedure, at which point a "check" is performed to make sure there are no sperm present in his semen. This is something you both should research and he should discuss with his doctor.
Beentheretoooften Posted June 1, 2021 Posted June 1, 2021 On 5/29/2021 at 3:03 AM, Dolfin80 said: , they just use a syringe to get the sperm out of his balls Ouch 1
Caauug Posted June 2, 2021 Posted June 2, 2021 On 5/7/2021 at 10:03 PM, 1Jessie86 said: For some reason I'm still hesitant to agree to this procedure. Is this not fair for my husband? I'm not sure why I'm hesitant. If you look after birth control now, this could be a power or control issue. Once he has the "Snip" it is your husband that has control, unless you are going outside the marriage....
dramafreezone Posted June 3, 2021 Posted June 3, 2021 On 5/7/2021 at 7:03 AM, 1Jessie86 said: My husband wants a vasectomy now. We've been married for two years and we're both 34. We have our first child (1yr) and are for the most part in agreement to be one and done. For some reason I'm still hesitant to agree to this procedure. Is this not fair for my husband? I'm not sure why I'm hesitant. We're currently living overseas. It's my first time away from friends, family and my career as a nurse. Would it be selfish of me to ask my husband to wait until we return to the states at the end of the year to have the procedure? "For the most part" is not in agreement. So you two need to reconcile your position on future children. 1
Recommended Posts