Maldives Posted May 5, 2021 Posted May 5, 2021 (edited) Hey all,. Had a first date with a girl last night went ok but too early to tell wether anything will come of it. She's got two daughters 16 and 18 and is talking of moving interstate. The daughters is more what's probably something I need more time with haha. Anyway sent her a follow up message this morning thanking her for her company and she responded the same. Anyway I responded to her respnse with "you too sweetie " she then said something that's kinda made it hard for me to read into with what she meant. She said "you think?" With the question mark. I kinda think she is referring to the term sweetie but I'm like how the hell do I know at this stage I hardly know you. Sweetie I guess is just a word that gets bantered around and thought it was a lil more appropriate then using her name. I wasn't really sure if we were vibing well that goes for me too. The conversation was ok but was more her telling me about her her hardships in Vietnam and coming to Australia. so I needed to go away and assess how I felt. Anyway be interested to hear your thoughts on what shes illuding to here? I find her attractive but of course it's such early days I would probably need one or two more dates to see if it's something I want. Edited May 5, 2021 by Goodguy05
Alfano Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 Using the term sweetie was NOT more appropriate than using her name. In fact it was considerably more unappropriate. 3
ShyViolet Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 It's impossible for us to guess what she may have meant by "you think?" I would just leave it alone and not read too much into it. Or if you really want to know what she meant then maybe text back "think what?" 3
d0nnivain Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 I don't think it's that terrible. Don't make something out of it but never call her "sweetie" or anything like that again 1
Sun Seeker Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 Sweetie is so cringe.. agreed don't ever use that term again.. ever.. unless you are in a relationship. Anyway I'm struggling to understand why your response was not a simple 'do I think what?' Just ask her. Nobody here can read her mind. 2
princessaurora Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 Ughhh, terms like sweetie and baby are so cringe like others have said and it has player written all over it. Just don't. 5
elaine567 Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 15 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: I would probably need one or two more dates to see if it's something I want. After that faux pas, it may not be your choice to make... 2
glows Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 16 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: Hey all,. Had a first date with a girl last night went ok but too early to tell wether anything will come of it. She's got two daughters 16 and 18 and is talking of moving interstate. The daughters is more what's probably something I need more time with haha. Anyway sent her a follow up message this morning thanking her for her company and she responded the same. Anyway I responded to her respnse with "you too sweetie " she then said something that's kinda made it hard for me to read into with what she meant. She said "you think?" With the question mark. I kinda think she is referring to the term sweetie but I'm like how the hell do I know at this stage I hardly know you. Sweetie I guess is just a word that gets bantered around and thought it was a lil more appropriate then using her name. I wasn't really sure if we were vibing well that goes for me too. The conversation was ok but was more her telling me about her her hardships in Vietnam and coming to Australia. so I needed to go away and assess how I felt. Anyway be interested to hear your thoughts on what shes illuding to here? I find her attractive but of course it's such early days I would probably need one or two more dates to see if it's something I want. Sounds more like a lost in translation issue, nothing serious. Avoid calling her "sweetie" again. It doesn't sound sincere. The text back and forth doesn't sound like a big issue except for the fact that you weren't sure at all if you were vibing well during the date. What was it about her intro about herself that got you second-guessing? Did she seem out of it or a bit self-absorbed when you met? Did she express any interest in you or ask you any questions about yourself? 1
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 If you don't feel it, then don't say it. I also do not like pet names when steady dating has not been established. I also think don't make a deal out of it and carry on. Do not use it until you officially date. 1
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 The most important thing is you met last night for the first time. Have you asked her out for this coming weekend? 2
Author Maldives Posted May 6, 2021 Author Posted May 6, 2021 Thanks all for the feedback. Great points to. I responded back I guess with a haha and an emoji and then she replies with I use to be sweet ten yra ago but not now lol it was definatley way off what we all thought lol. She was referring to her personality wow just goes to show how way off we can be or me in this case..but he's won't use that term ever again lol. 1
Author Maldives Posted May 6, 2021 Author Posted May 6, 2021 12 minutes ago, glows said: Sounds more like a lost in translation issue, nothing serious. Avoid calling her "sweetie" again. It doesn't sound sincere. The text back and forth doesn't sound like a big issue except for the fact that you weren't sure at all if you were vibing well during the date. What was it about her intro about herself that got you second-guessing? Did she seem out of it or a bit self-absorbed when you met? Did she express any interest in you or ask you any questions about yourself? A lil self absorbed I think she asked about me but talked a lot about her hardships and down played mine when I opened up about me lol I was lil annoyed but no one's perfect nor am I so just brushed it off. There was some things I really liked about her. Wen I went to fix the bill she offered to pay. I payed but that left a positive impression.
Author Maldives Posted May 6, 2021 Author Posted May 6, 2021 12 minutes ago, Gaeta said: The most important thing is you met last night for the first time. Have you asked her out for this coming weekend? Not yet I'm still processing in my head what I think of her. Some things I liked some things im not sure about like her teenage kids lol. I was thinking about another date on Sunday night will see how I'm feeling tommorrow anyway night all thanks again for your great feedback
glows Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 (edited) 18 minutes ago, Goodguy05 said: A lil self absorbed I think she asked about me but talked a lot about her hardships and down played mine when I opened up about me lol I was lil annoyed but no one's perfect nor am I so just brushed it off. There was some things I really liked about her. Wen I went to fix the bill she offered to pay. I payed but that left a positive impression. There's a disconnect there. Good of you not to downplay this. I would give it at least another date (two dates) and by then I usually have a good idea of whether the other person is in-tune, listening, attentive or altogether present. Also, what is the deal with her potentially moving interstate? Is that to be closer to her daughters for college/university? What is it about her teenage kids that bother you? They are her kids, her responsibility. They will also be eager and interested in their own lives. Edited May 6, 2021 by glows 2
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 If you find her attractive then give this a 2nd date. I have stories of people's opinion changing for the positive on a 2nd date. Is there something dramatic about her daughters? 1
Alpacalia Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 Some women raise an eyebrow with the introduction of pet names so early on... Just something to consider. 1
beentheredonethat77 Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 If English isn't her first language -- Its possible she thought you were saying "You are too sweet" -- (instead of you too sweetie) -- and the 'you think? would make more sense if she is asking 'you think im too sweet?". 2
smackie9 Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 Just me but I thought dates were supposed to be fun...talking about hardships, bad relationships, dating woes, etc is kind of a downer. Some giggling, flirting, friendly banter would be more of a date that has gone well or at least things starting off on the right foot. 2
Author Maldives Posted May 6, 2021 Author Posted May 6, 2021 (edited) 6 hours ago, glows said: There's a disconnect there. Good of you not to downplay this. I would give it at least another date (two dates) and by then I usually have a good idea of whether the other person is in-tune, listening, attentive or altogether present. Also, what is the deal with her potentially moving interstate? Is that to be closer to her daughters for college/university? What is it about her teenage kids that bother you? They are her kids, her responsibility. They will also be eager and interested in their own lives. You gave me some insight there re her kids. My last ex had kids but they were a lot younger and I found it challenging dating someone with kids. Your right though they are a little older in this instance. Se wants to move cause where we live is a holiday destination beautiful though and she's a cosmetic tattooist and doesn't have much work here she has her own business. She is moving to Sydney which is where I was originally from. I don't have any intensions of going back there I have a good job where I am and lifestyle is great. I donno why this one's not too concerning for me at this stage moving etc is all workable. Edited May 6, 2021 by Goodguy05 1
Author Maldives Posted May 6, 2021 Author Posted May 6, 2021 6 hours ago, Gaeta said: If you find her attractive then give this a 2nd date. I have stories of people's opinion changing for the positive on a 2nd date. Is there something dramatic about her daughters? No just that I found it challenging with the last ex but her kids were a lot younger than hers.
Author Maldives Posted May 6, 2021 Author Posted May 6, 2021 (edited) 4 hours ago, smackie9 said: Just me but I thought dates were supposed to be fun...talking about hardships, bad relationships, dating woes, etc is kind of a downer. Some giggling, flirting, friendly banter would be more of a date that has gone well or at least things starting off on the right foot. Ye totally agree that's what put a little dampener on the date for me. I guess for me I'm in a good place I'm a lil lonely sometimes but a lot of positive things working for me in my life Edited May 6, 2021 by Goodguy05
dramafreezone Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 7 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: Thanks all for the feedback. Great points to. I responded back I guess with a haha and an emoji and then she replies with I use to be sweet ten yra ago but not now lol it was definatley way off what we all thought lol. She was referring to her personality wow just goes to show how way off we can be or me in this case..but he's won't use that term ever again lol. Ok, here's a tip, cut way down on the texting. You're just giving yourself more opportunities to mess up. Talk on the date. 2
Jet8419 Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 Good day, fellow Aussie! (Oi! Oi! Oi!) I can totally understand why you used the harmless term “sweetie” and she misunderstood it - everyone greets (young) ladies as “sweetie” or “sweetheart” here, sometimes even “darling” or “darl” for short among total strangers at the shops, so technically it doesn’t imply romantic interest, just maybe more towards the feminine version of “mate”. But because English isn’t her first language, she doesn’t understand the meaning of that term either. (Btw I live in the most Vietnamese suburb in Sydney and I struggle to understand them - my hairdresser is Vietnamese and I can’t understand her at all every time she tries to make conversation). Anyway, good on you for making an effort. Let us know how Sunday goes! PS: Are you guys in Cairns?
elaine567 Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 9 hours ago, Goodguy05 said: Se wants to move cause where we live is a holiday destination beautiful though and she's a cosmetic tattooist and doesn't have much work here she has her own business. She is moving to Sydney which is where I was originally from. I don't have any intensions of going back there I have a good job where I am and lifestyle is great. I donno why this one's not too concerning for me at this stage moving etc is all workable. NEXT! Moving is not workable. LDRs hardly ever work out, they are often a lot of work and ultimately a complete waste of time. You don't want to move to Sydney and she doesn't want to stay where you live, so how on earth would that ever be "workable"?
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