Are all men shallow ?

[Caauug]

1 hour ago, Blind-Sided said:

I really kind of find this all offensive.  It's heading down the path of a "Man Bashing" thread. 

Welcome to what the western world is becoming.... You are now looking at the normal... Not really, this thread is very mild.... There is no rape allegations mentioned.... Get use to it, it's here to stay!!!

@Blind-Sided You are a male, you are part of the minority. Females and "White Knights" out number us... It's the way it is... Speak out too much and the "Hive" will silence you.

What can you do?: Not much, voice your option, call out wrongs when you see them... LS mods are are all over it if you say too much, just try to keep it low key and no finger pointing...

Armour up, grow thick skin, "Be a man and take it"? You don't have much choice really....

I hope you get to look at this before it gets removed....

 

[jspice]

3 hours ago, Caauug said:

Welcome to what the western world is becoming.... You are now looking at the normal... Not really, this thread is very mild.... There is no rape allegations mentioned.... Get use to it, it's here to stay!!!

@Blind-Sided You are a male, you are part of the minority. Females and "White Knights" out number us... It's the way it is... Speak out too much and the "Hive" will silence you.

What can you do?: Not much, voice your option, call out wrongs when you see them... LS mods are are all over it if you say too much, just try to keep it low key and no finger pointing...

Armour up, grow thick skin, "Be a man and take it"? You don't have much choice really....

I hope you get to look at this before it gets removed....

 

God, the only thing missing from this post is “Back in my day women knew their place”

[ThePhoenixStillRises]

7 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

This place is for real help... not creating illusions.  

And this seems to be a case of the pot calling the kettle black, so to speak.  

[dramafreezone]

10 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

 

OK.... this is just a crazy statement.  While I will agree guys in general are more likely to associate love with being physical... I've known A LOT of girls over the years that had no problems with just wanting "Sex".  EVERY SINGLE  ONS that I had over the years with initiated by the girl !!!   Guys are just more open about it.

 

You responded to my comment that almost every man's primary interest is sex.  I don't see how anything you said refutes what I said.   I never made any assertion that no woman is as sexual as a man; there are plenty of women that are just as sexual as men, but that wasn't my point.  Nearly all guys see women as sexual beings *first*.  That doesn't mean that the guy cannot come to appreciate a woman's beauty beyond her looks, but it starts with her looks. 

[Caauug]

13 hours ago, jspice said:

God, the only thing missing from this post is “Back in my day women knew their place”

No not at all... What I was saying is "Man bashing is very common here". There is nothing he can do about it.... 

[elaine567]

On 5/4/2021 at 8:07 PM, Gaeta said:

What does he look like now?

Maybe he looks really bad and realized you're way above his league. 

OR he is in a time warp, like many are.
He has not aged one iota in his mind, and is still looking for the younger women he dated 10, 20 years ago.
But time moves on for all of us... 

[Atwood]

There's a difference between being visual and being shallow. We can acknowledge a lot of men are very visual and whether that's down to biology or socialisation is a debate for another time and better argued by people qualified to do so.

All men are individuals and all men are different to each other, just like women and non-binary individuals. So yes, some of them are shallow and are only going to be interested in women who fit their standard of perfect and who are able to maintain it because they want that surface-level satisfaction of having an insta-worthy girlfriend hanging off them. Truthfully though I think there's plenty of decent men out there who aren't shallow and who, whilst they may be visual creatures, don't have back-breaking, instagram standards of perfection and put you through torture for putting on weight or changing as you age. 

Literally don't waste a single second on anybody who tries to put those standards on you, they're a waste of your time and you deserve better than that. The best part is that it's out there, you just won't find it if you give these lads the time of day. 

[jspice]

2 hours ago, Caauug said:

No not at all... What I was saying is "Man bashing is very common here". There is nothing he can do about it.... 

I know what you were saying. Have you seen how men talk about women here, you included. To pretend like men are the victims here, or anywhere else, is ridiculous. 

[Woggle]

People in general are shallow. No gender has the moral upper hand.

[chillii]

Shallow is just another term women use for he didn't like me , he's got problems. Until you hear back from him though you can't know it was even the thing anyway. But yeah you could look totally different you wouldn't believe how common it is women just not realizing how much they've changed. But hey sometimes even for the better too.

But no , not all men are shallow when l look around at some of their partners , l'd say no more so than women who would also disappear if they didn't like your look. Not that we even know yet that was it. He could be busy or something came up. And no there is sooooo much more to it than just the sexual, well , relationship wise anyway.

[Marc878]

That’s like asking the question are all women cheaters? 
 

If you read through a lot of infinity threads it sounds like a lot of former waywards questioning why did make your poor wife cheat. It just has to be the husbands fault.

My sister was a wayward. According to her the MIL made her mad and caused her to cheat.

Its hilarious. 

[Blind-Sided]

@Marc878 I agree.  The blame is always put on that other person for "Driving them to cheat".  I see that a lot in the OW/OM section. Even in my own life... I was blamed for everything, even though I was never informed there was anything wrong.  BUT... the other nosey women in my neighborhood knew about the exW issues "For years."   Oh... and as you called it... I'm pretty sure the exW was having an emotional affair long before she left.  That's why she needed to blame me for everything she could. 

Edited May 7, 2021 by Blind-Sided

[dramafreezone]

13 hours ago, Atwood said:

There's a difference between being visual and being shallow. We can acknowledge a lot of men are very visual and whether that's down to biology or socialisation is a debate for another time and better argued by people qualified to do so.

All men are individuals and all men are different to each other, just like women and non-binary individuals.

Truthfully though I think there's plenty of decent men out there who aren't shallow and who, whilst they may be visual creatures, don't have back-breaking, instagram standards of perfection and put you through torture for putting on weight or changing as you age. 

Literally don't waste a single second on anybody who tries to put those standards on you, they're a waste of your time and you deserve better than that. The best part is that it's out there, you just won't find it if you give these lads the time of day. 

People are getting OP riled up over an assumption that he found her unattractive.  We don't even know if he was interested in her in a romantic capacity.

You said the following:

Quote

So yes, some of them are shallow and are only going to be interested in women who fit their standard of perfect and who are able to maintain it because they want that surface-level satisfaction of having an insta-worthy girlfriend hanging off them.

To this I say, so what?  If that's what that guy prefers, he can actually get that type of woman and she feels like she's getting benefit out of the deal (ie. he's wealthy and is taken care of, he has status and gives her access to a certain lifestyle) who is being hurt here?  Seems like a mutually beneficial relationship.  Additionally, this is a very small subset of men so I don't understand why this is even an issue.  Most guys like pretty women and may have "beauty standards" but that doesn't mean that's all that they like. 

Women have their standards too, just about different things.  I don't complain that most women prefer a wealthy man or at least one that's well off.  I'll tell you this much, if I could work 20 hours a week, stay in a 400 squre foot studio apartment with minimal furniture and still date high quality women I would.  Quite honestly, all of that stuff I just mentioned is all I need, but I know that doesn't cut it if I want to date good women.

I think guys mostly accept what women like but guys are increasingly shamed for what they like.

Edited May 7, 2021 by dramafreezone

[Atwood]

9 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

People are getting OP riled up over an assumption that he found her unattractive.  We don't even know if he was interested in her in a romantic capacity.

You said the following:

To this I say, so what?  If that's what that guy prefers, he can actually get that type of woman and she feels like she's getting benefit out of the deal (ie. he's wealthy and is taken care of, he has status and gives her access to a certain lifestyle) who is being hurt here?  Seems like a mutually beneficial relationship.  Additionally, this is a very small subset of men so I don't understand why this is even an issue.  Most guys like pretty women and may have "beauty standards" but that doesn't mean that's all that they like. 

Women have their standards too, just about different things.  I don't complain that most women prefer a wealthy man or at least one that's well off.  I'll tell you this much, if I could work 20 hours a week, stay in a 400 squre foot studio apartment with minimal furniture and still date high quality women I would.  Quite honestly, all of that stuff I just mentioned is all I need, but I know that doesn't cut it if I want to date good women.

I think guys mostly accept what women like but guys are increasingly shamed for what they like.

Did you miss the part where I said some men and not all? 

OP asked if all men are shallow. To that I answered “some of em”. Same goes for women and non binary people too. My advice to the OP was don’t waste your time on someone shallow because it clearly doesn’t work for the OP. 
 

You’re saying this is a small subset of men, but then say most women want to date a wealthy man. Where are you getting your info from? 
 

My point was we’re all individuals and if you don’t like shallow, egotistical people, you don’t have to settle for them because not everyone is like that. There’s no reason why two shallow people can’t get together and have a mutually beneficial relationship as you say, but this clearly doesn’t work for the OP. 

[Marc878]

I used to have a friend who was always trying to get women to go out with him. When they wouldn’t he’d classify them as lesbians. Hilarious!!!!
 

Smells like the same thing here. Women who can’t find or keep a man label them all as shallow.  
 

Maybe you should look at the one common denominator.

 

[dramafreezone]

 

3 hours ago, Marc878 said:

I used to have a friend who was always trying to get women to go out with him. When they wouldn’t he’d classify them as lesbians. Hilarious!!!!
 

Smells like the same thing here. Women who can’t find or keep a man label them all as shallow.  
 

Maybe you should look at the one common denominator.

 

It sounds like your friend is trying to dictate what women should like, and if they don't something's wrong with them.

There's nothing wrong with a woman that didn't like your friend, and there's nothing wrong with the guy the OP was talking about, even assuming he did stop calling her because he was not attracted.  That's. His. Preference. 

This goes hand in hand with the whole body positivity movement.  I'm fine if people want to say certain women look great even if they're overweight, but people go too far when it extends to shaming men for not accepting those same women as beautiful.

[Phallacy]

No shallower then the women seeking homeowners.

You must have missed the memo stating that mating is about money and secks

[kendahke]

On 5/4/2021 at 2:38 PM, Arrangrl62 said:

Hi 

so I dated this man around 10 years ago , he moved away so that was that . We have recently started texting and we are both single . Over the last month , he has called me every night and seemed to be enjoying catching up and chatting on the phone . Over the weekend , I sent him a couple of recent pics of myself . Now granted it’s 10 years since he previously saw me, so yes, I have aged, as he will have . Since then I have heard NOTHING from him.. No texts or calls ! I’m a little gob smacked to say the least. Talk about a blow to my self confidence ! 

My guess is it had nothing to do with your photo and more to do with proximity, time constraints and getting real about rekindling something dead for 10 years.

Your confidence should not be linked to any man giving you attention.

And to answer the question in your title: both men and women can be shallow.

Edited May 8, 2021 by kendahke

[Marc878]

1 hour ago, dramafreezone said:

 

It sounds like your friend is trying to dictate what women should like, and if they don't something's wrong with them.

There's nothing wrong with a woman that didn't like your friend, and there's nothing wrong with the guy the OP was talking about, even assuming he did stop calling her because he was not attracted.  That's. His. Preference. 

This goes hand in hand with the whole body positivity movement.  I'm fine if people want to say certain women look great even if they're overweight, but people go too far when it extends to shaming men for not accepting those same women as beautiful.

Yes and it’s the same scenario as “all men are shallow “.