Arrangrl62 Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 Hi so I dated this man around 10 years ago , he moved away so that was that . We have recently started texting and we are both single . Over the last month , he has called me every night and seemed to be enjoying catching up and chatting on the phone . Over the weekend , I sent him a couple of recent pics of myself . Now granted it’s 10 years since he previously saw me, so yes, I have aged, as he will have . Since then I have heard NOTHING from him.. No texts or calls ! I’m a little gob smacked to say the least. Talk about a blow to my self confidence !
MeadowFlower Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 A lot of guys are like that. Especially the ones whose primary interest is sex, even if they are disguising that interest with being interested in you as a person. Give him the middle finger proverbially, you don't need that type of person in your life. 2
Author Arrangrl62 Posted May 4, 2021 Author Posted May 4, 2021 Thanks appreciate your reply . I think I scrub up pretty well myself lol xx
dramafreezone Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 (edited) 25 minutes ago, Arrangrl62 said: Hi so I dated this man around 10 years ago , he moved away so that was that . We have recently started texting and we are both single . Over the last month , he has called me every night and seemed to be enjoying catching up and chatting on the phone . Over the weekend , I sent him a couple of recent pics of myself . Now granted it’s 10 years since he previously saw me, so yes, I have aged, as he will have . Since then I have heard NOTHING from him.. No texts or calls ! I’m a little gob smacked to say the least. Talk about a blow to my self confidence ! Why do you automatically think it's about you? That's a bit self-centered do you think? Are the buttons on your phone broken and can't dial out? Call him if you're interested instead of thinking he's the worst person in the world because he hasn't called. Edited May 4, 2021 by dramafreezone 1 1 1
Shining One Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 Everyone is shallow to some extent. Do you not have any physical attribute requirements of your own? 2
Alpacalia Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 (edited) You don't know if his silence has anything to do with your pictures. Why did you stop dating in the first place? Because he moved away? Also, how did you both become reacquainted? Edited May 4, 2021 by Alpaca 1
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 What does he look like now? Maybe he looks really bad and realized you're way above his league. 8 1
dramafreezone Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 (edited) 12 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said: A lot of guys are like that. Especially the ones whose primary interest is sex, even if they are disguising that interest with being interested in you as a person. Give him the middle finger proverbially, you don't need that type of person in your life. Nearly every guy's primary interest is sex. The most of the ones that say that it's not are lying. Edited May 4, 2021 by dramafreezone 4
Author Arrangrl62 Posted May 4, 2021 Author Posted May 4, 2021 Ok I have called , left a msg and he hasn’t responded . Yeah we were only on a few dates but his moving away was primarily why it stopped. Hey if I don’t float his boat, fair enough but at least have a “ happy being friends” conversation instead of just disappearing . 1
MeadowFlower Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 2 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: Nearly every guy's primary interest is sex. That can't be so surely.
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 You both gave it a shot, didn't work out...who really cares why. It's best to just ignore it....there are more opportunities out there. I know newly singles, and they seem to take it in stride, keeping positive. 2
Author Arrangrl62 Posted May 4, 2021 Author Posted May 4, 2021 Yeah I certainly will do - life is way to short isn’t it ? Thanks x 3
glows Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 8 minutes ago, Arrangrl62 said: Ok I have called , left a msg and he hasn’t responded . Yeah we were only on a few dates but his moving away was primarily why it stopped. Hey if I don’t float his boat, fair enough but at least have a “ happy being friends” conversation instead of just disappearing . Good for you. Now run on and make the most out of your precious lovely life. As others have commented it may have nothing to do with you.. Although Gaeta you had me in stitches, yes - you could be way out of his league. Or he got very nervous all of a sudden. Some people are odd and you don't have to stick around for that. Consistency matters so take all things in stride. You may not even remember his name next week. Onwards. 3
Author Arrangrl62 Posted May 4, 2021 Author Posted May 4, 2021 Thank you glows for your reply - I agree , I will never know , so que sera sera I loved Gaeta’s response too- made my night it did x 4
CollinW Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 Everyone's shallow to a certain extent, if Flava Flav tried to date you and you turned him down does that make you shallow? Or are those just standards? 5
Wiseman2 Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 3 hours ago, Arrangrl62 said: Over the weekend , I sent him a couple of recent pics of myself . Since then I have heard NOTHING from him.. He may be married or in a relationship and decided he can't go through with it. After 10 years people's lives change so who knows what he's really like now. Was he a jerk in the past upon reflection?
Author Arrangrl62 Posted May 5, 2021 Author Posted May 5, 2021 9 hours ago, CollinW said: Everyone's shallow to a certain extent, if Flava Flav tried to date you and you turned him down does that make you shallow? Or are those just standards? Colin thanks for your response and I have no idea who that is !
Author Arrangrl62 Posted May 5, 2021 Author Posted May 5, 2021 10 hours ago, glows said: Good for you. Now run on and make the most out of your precious lovely life. As others have commented it may have nothing to do with you.. Although Gaeta you had me in stitches, yes - you could be way out of his league. Or he got very nervous all of a sudden. Some people are odd and you don't have to stick around for that. Consistency matters so take all things in stride. You may not even remember his name next week. Onwards. ank you glows for your reply - I agree , I will never know , so que sera sera I loved Gaeta’s response too- made my night it did x 1 1
flitzanu Posted May 5, 2021 Posted May 5, 2021 answer to topic: Are all men shallow ? yes. the answer is yes. 2
Ami1uwant Posted May 5, 2021 Posted May 5, 2021 It’s correlation vs causation...they are different. just because he started talking to you again doesn’t necessarily mean he was trying to date you. You coukd have bern done with conversational stuff ehrn this ended so your photos didn’t end this. 1
Blind-Sided Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 (edited) On 5/4/2021 at 2:57 PM, cleverusername said: His loss, not yours. You are a prize. How do you know? This is just a platitude that could falsely amplify a person with problems. This place is for real help... not creating illusions. On 5/4/2021 at 2:38 PM, Arrangrl62 said: Hi so I dated this man around 10 years ago , he moved away so that was that . We have recently started texting and we are both single . Over the last month , he has called me every night and seemed to be enjoying catching up and chatting on the phone . Over the weekend , I sent him a couple of recent pics of myself . Now granted it’s 10 years since he previously saw me, so yes, I have aged, as he will have . Since then I have heard NOTHING from him.. No texts or calls ! I’m a little gob smacked to say the least. Talk about a blow to my self confidence ! OK... it's only a blow to your self confidence if you let it be, because you don't know the truth behind his silence, and you are making the assumption that it had to purely do with the pictures, and the way you look. (This is bad since you are assuming things) If you are a good looking woman... (as someone else already said) Maybe he's in a relationship and it got real. OR... maybe he just decided he wasn't ready to be in a new relationship. OR... he remembered why you guys broke up in the first place. (Did you dump him? Did you cheat on him?) Making assumptions is a dangerous thing. On thje point of being shallow, and "Assuming" it was the pictures... what if he sent recent pictures, and his face is covered in burn scars? Or he's missing an arm or leg.... OR... he's 700 lbs? Would you have called it off? (I'm guessing you would) Everyone has their limits, so the label of being "Shallow" is all in the person who is applying it. I'm sure if it was the other way around... you would just say... "He wasn't my type." On 5/4/2021 at 3:10 PM, dramafreezone said: Nearly every guy's primary interest is sex. The most of the ones that say that it's not are lying. OK.... this is just a crazy statement. While I will agree guys in general are more likely to associate love with being physical... I've known A LOT of girls over the years that had no problems with just wanting "Sex". EVERY SINGLE ONS that I had over the years with initiated by the girl !!! Guys are just more open about it. With all that said... I really kind of find this all offensive. It's heading down the path of a "Man Bashing" thread. I was fine with the title, but the comments, and direction are bad. In my life, I've known just as many shallow woman as guys. I'm sorry this happened, but until you know the truth... don't take it personally. AND... since you two dated before... and broke up... why would you want to get back together?? You already know you aren't compatible for some reason. The only caveat to that would be that you dated as teens, and his folks moved. But in that case... you didn't really know yourself yet. Sorry to be blunt... but it's 100% truthful. There are a lot of guys out there who will love you for who you are, and there is no reason to go back to an ex. I wish you happiness in moving forward. Edited May 6, 2021 by Blind-Sided 1
elaine567 Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 I never ever thought guys were just shallow, but having spent time on this forum I have changed my mind... Not ALL guys, as rarely is anything 100%, but quite a lot of them seem to be...OLD, modern dating and the sexualisation of society I guess doesn't really help. I hope this guy did not bin you due to the pics, but the timing of it seems too much of a coincidence to suggest otherwise, sorry to say. 1
Caauug Posted May 6, 2021 Posted May 6, 2021 On 5/5/2021 at 3:15 AM, MeadowFlower said: On 5/5/2021 at 3:10 AM, dramafreezone said: Nearly every guy's primary interest is sex. That can't be so surely. Well.... It also depends how you make a peanut and banana sandwich... Maybe I higher expectations.... 1
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