Girlfriend wants to break up because of distance even though I was about to close it

[Solar]

LDR Girlfriend of 1 and a half years breakup. I need some help understanding why

As the title says, my girlfriend randomly decided to breakup with me. We are in a long distance relationship and have had an absolutely amazing time together despite the distance. We work great together. I have adhd and I told her to get tested because she had similar issues to me and she is now on vyvanse for medication. Ever since she got on it she’s been focusing more on friends than me. She also started doing all her school work which is great. She completely switched on me after this and went from being so excited for me to finish school and to come see her more often to not telling me how she’s feeling and hiding all her emotions. I’m a senior in high school she’s a junior. On the last day of school for me, she decides to break up. I’m not going to college so this makes no sense to me. I only live 3 hours away and was planning on visiting her often. She told me the reason is because of the distance but can’t really get her story straight on why she wants this now, on the last day of school. I talked with her and we decided to take a break instead of calling it a full break up. She wants limited talking and says she is busy with lots of schoolwork but still has time for her friends but not me. I’m trying to understand what happened psychologically. She used to write me love letters and we would send gift boxes to each other for the holidays. We were so close and planning on spending our lives together a few months ago and now she can’t can’t get her story straight on why she wants a breakup? I was even planning on moving to her to close the distance for a year until she goes to college. Her plan is to go to Boston (where I’m from) for college so it would be easy for me to go with her. She still tells me she loves me but keeps saying that she doesn’t think we are gonna work out. I’m so confused and hurt.

I know this is a bit of a rant but any sort of help would be appreciated. I also wanted to say this has nothing to do with financial situation either. Her family is very wealthy and that has been a big help in us seeing each other as much as we have.

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Solar said:

she’s a junior.

 

1 hour ago, Solar said:

We were so close and planning on spending our lives together

She's just too young for this sort of commitment, OP. 

I know it sucks but most teens are not capable of maintaining huge promises and very committed relationships. They make big future plans because it feels good in the moment to fantasize, but reality is that most lack the life experience, maturity and wisdom needed to carry them out. So while I believe distance is part of the issue, the primary one is that she's not even an adult yet and will have a plenty more to experience before she meets her life partner (and you too, more than likely)

The day she chose to end it doesn't really matter, in the end. What matters most is that she recognizes that she isn't interested the same way anymore and it would be unfair to string you along. 

[TeddyBundy1993]

When teen girls or even girls in early twenties all of sudden starts to make time for friends and not you,  just know it's going to be over soon.  It's a red flag. There are possibilities that she might have someone else or just wanna be single to explore more. I believe you are done here and she's very clear with you. Wrap it up.  This wasn't even a long distance! 3 hours isn't that much.  With the fact you were about to close the distance.  I m sorry mate! Atleast she is honest with you pal! Don't get dishearted this happens with us all and personally happened to me in my early twenties. You are also young and have a lot to discover!  So prepare for it! 

Another thing is ditch any offer for friendship with her!  It won't do any good to you! It's another road for self destruction.  Friendship after breakup is not possible at all! And always self destructive & painful for the dumpee. Stay strong drop her now. Time to move on

[Sun Seeker]

She's met someone else or wants to meet others.

You are both too young to be making life commitments anyway. See this as a positive - you can now also experience other women, have fun with them, before settling down for good.

[kendahke]

On 5/4/2021 at 1:17 PM, Solar said:

She wants limited talking and says she is busy with lots of schoolwork but still has time for her friends but not me.

That's because for a high school Junior, they don't demand the same amount of attention and emotional heavy lifting as a love interest does.

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I’m trying to understand what happened psychologically.

This is what happened:

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vyvanse

Ever since she got on it she’s been focusing more on friends than me.

She also started doing all her school work

  she doesn’t think we are gonna work out.

Sounds like the medication worked for her and got her unstuck from the psychological rut she was in.

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We were so close and planning on spending our lives together

She's far too young to know that right now or make that kind of life-binding decision.  Despite how much money her parents have, they were not going to fund you two playing house. 

Your time right now would be better spent concentrating on how you're going to provide for yourself going forward with your life since you say you're not going to college.

Edited May 9, 2021 by kendahke