wanderingthoughts11 Posted May 3, 2021 Posted May 3, 2021 This is coming from a article i just read and I am not going to do this I am just wondering if other people have and what happened. Lets say you have one or two dates with a person and for someone reason they ghosted. stopped all contact. Have you reached out and sent a message to them a couple weeks past to see what happened? If so, what happened? Did you start a friendship, relationship or nothing at all ??? Did they give you a long excuse -- what?
Wiseman2 Posted May 3, 2021 Posted May 3, 2021 2 minutes ago, wanderingthoughts11 said: Lets say you have one or two dates with a person and for someone reason they ghosted. Why trust a ghoster? If they ghost after in person, they'll ghost after communication, no? 4
Author wanderingthoughts11 Posted May 3, 2021 Author Posted May 3, 2021 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Why trust a ghoster? If they ghost after in person, they'll ghost after communication, no? I am not disagreeing. I am just want to hear what others did or have done lol. The article i was referring too stated she reconnected then ended up marrying the guy in the end. I would have said no. Thus, why I am posted this.
Gaeta Posted May 3, 2021 Posted May 3, 2021 I have never reached to someone who ghosted me BUT I have had ghosters contact me again after ghosting me. Each time I gave them a second chance they ghosted me again. 1
dramafreezone Posted May 3, 2021 Posted May 3, 2021 (edited) 1 hour ago, wanderingthoughts11 said: I am not disagreeing. I am just want to hear what others did or have done lol. The article i was referring too stated she reconnected then ended up marrying the guy in the end. I would have said no. Thus, why I am posted this. If you must know what happens when you reach out to a ghoster, just do it and find out. People in this thread have given you their opinion that it's not going to work out in your favor, but you said yeah but someone wrote a newpaper article about how they did it, fell in love and lived happily ever after. I don't think your curiosity will be quelled until you do it, so just do it and find out. What's the worst that could happen? Edited May 3, 2021 by dramafreezone 2
Author wanderingthoughts11 Posted May 3, 2021 Author Posted May 3, 2021 14 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: If you must know what happens when you reach out to a ghoster, just do it and find out. People in this thread have given you their opinion that it's not going to work out in your favor, but you said yeah but someone wrote a newpaper article about how they did it, fell in love and lived happily ever after. I don't think your curiosity will be quelled until you do it, so just do it and find out. What's the worst that could happen? My question still stands-- i posed a topic and I would like to hear what other people did. As stated, I am not doing it and I appreciate the other responses i have received thus far. thanks
Author wanderingthoughts11 Posted May 3, 2021 Author Posted May 3, 2021 1 hour ago, Gaeta said: I have never reached to someone who ghosted me BUT I have had ghosters contact me again after ghosting me. Each time I gave them a second chance they ghosted me again. Figures! but I personally do not recall anyone trying to reconnect after ghosting me and I think if someone did I probably would say * You have risen* or something smart like that lol.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 I can't think of anyone I know personally who reached out to a ghoster and had a happy ending, honestly.
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 Someone who ghosts most likely does so because their communication skills & basic manners are so poor, IMO, that they can't extend the simple courtesy of saying "no thanks, this isn't working for me" so the other person is not left wondering. Those deficiencies make them poor prospects for a LTR. Ergo, there is no good reason to reach out to such a person. The author of the article you read may be the exception that proves the rule but just because somebody occasionally wins the lottery does not mean the odds of you winning are in your favor. 4
ExpatInItaly Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 31 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: The author of the article you read may be the exception that proves the rule but just because somebody occasionally wins the lottery does not mean the odds of you winning are in your favor. Agreed. Further, it's anyone's guess if the author's marriage is actually a happy one. Marrying a ghoster may or not be the prize that someone wants to make others believe it is. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 There is a difference between someone who genuinely ghosted because they didn't have the chops to speak up vs. somebody who was a little shy & was afraid to make the next move. For example, a guy & a girl meet on OLD & go on a date. It goes OK. The girl does not send a thank you text & the guy worries she didn't like him so he doesn't reach out. Meanwhile the girl is constantly checking her phone wondering why the guy isn't asking for a 2nd date. In that example if one of them had been brave enough to reach out, things might have been OK. However, if the girl send the thank you & the guy still went silent, it's less likely that things would work out. If the guy did send a message or call but the girl never responded, again that is not a good sign. Somebody has to make the 1st move. But once there is no response to a maximum of 2 messages over 2 days (preferably longer), then it's time to give up. 1
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 First and foremost, ghosting only takes place after a relationship has started, when it seems that all is going well. After a date or two, no one owes anyone anything. To answer your question, yes I've contacted a ghoster a couple of weeks later. It was a brand new relationship of a few weeks, and he disappeared out of nowhere. Looking back, my ego was hurt more than it having actual heartbreak. I waited a couple of weeks, then sent a very friendly text that was worded in a way to let him know I still thought well of him, and that I wasn't going to jump down his throat. It worked, and he came back. To make a long story short, the relationship only lasted about 4 1/2 more months. He never told me he loved me. He was cheap. I never got introduced to any of the important people in his life. He wasn't very affectionate. He didn't look out for my safety. I didn't get invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas. Basically, he put in little to no effort, and I walked on eggshells the whole time. Hindsight is 20/20 and looking at it years later, he was a serial dater and ghosting his way out of relationships was his M.O. I was silly enough at the time to think things would be different with me. I do not recommend contacting a ghoster, or taking them back if they contact you. Unless it's done as an escape from abuse, ghosting shows a serious lack of empathy and conscience. This person cannot be trusted in any way, shape or form. 1
peach302 Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 (edited) 13 hours ago, wanderingthoughts11 said: Figures! but I personally do not recall anyone trying to reconnect after ghosting me and I think if someone did I probably would say * You have risen* or something smart like that lol. Ghosting for me has always been a mutual thing. Like i wasn't feeling it either or didn't care enough and we both stopped contacting one another. However if it happened to be the case where i message/call someone and they disappear on me. Even if i do reach out..out of curiosity again..i doubt i will want anything to do with them in a romantic sense. Most definitely not. Unless they had a legitimate reason...like mental health...life stressors work etc. I may reconsider. Or if i was seriously in the wrong and did something which may have pushed them away. Edited May 4, 2021 by peach302 1
Beachead Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 (edited) @wanderingthoughts11 I wouldn't give them a second chance no matter what explanation they served up, because I couldn't trust them again. Ghosting is just a complete disregard for a person's feelings and probably one of the worst things a person can do to another. Doesn't just damage that person but damages the entire dating culture. Leaves the receiver of that ghost, having to go forward wondering if or when the next person will do the same. That perpetual state of anxiety and mistrust could cost them and future potentials, a relationship that might have worked out. If everybody did this, nobody would trust anybody. Edited May 4, 2021 by Beachead 1
glows Posted May 4, 2021 Posted May 4, 2021 18 hours ago, wanderingthoughts11 said: This is coming from a article i just read and I am not going to do this I am just wondering if other people have and what happened. Lets say you have one or two dates with a person and for someone reason they ghosted. stopped all contact. Have you reached out and sent a message to them a couple weeks past to see what happened? If so, what happened? Did you start a friendship, relationship or nothing at all ??? Did they give you a long excuse -- what? No! Absolutely not. I'm usually the Kidding. Somewhat. Look, if that person and you weren't getting on, let it be. 1
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