He suddenly stopped answering my text after the first date

[Stupidkupid]

1 minute ago, HadMeOverABarrel said:

I saw a show once, a Dateline special maybe, where a guy had three long-term relationships going at once (married to at least 2 of them). He would tell each of them he was on assignment with the CIA when he was gone for several months at a time. Really, he was just with one of the other women.

Food for thought, right? So, if he pops back up, be smart and verify his excuses with hard, independent evidence before proceeding further. If you're not able to corroborate his story with your own independently obtained evidence, you may assume this guy is just a douche. Maybe he thinks this is his "cute" way of being unavailable but still reaping the benefits...conditioning women to meet his desires without giving back to them. 

I wouldn't get too excited about this guy. If he wants you, he knows how to find you...especially if he's in the CIA!

[Skittle2021]

On 5/1/2021 at 7:48 AM, introverted1 said:

This was too much, too soon. 

Why were you hounding him to commit to weekly sleep-overs after just one date?  You asked, he deflected, and then you asked again...  and again.  Even if weekly get togethers are what would have naturally played out, you insisting on a guarantee is a turn-off.

Next time, slow your roll. 

 

12 minutes ago, HadMeOverABarrel said:

I saw a show once, a Dateline special maybe, where a guy had three long-term relationships going at once (married to at least 2 of them). He would tell each of them he was on assignment with the CIA when he was gone for several months at a time. Really, he was just with one of the other women.

Food for thought, right? So, if he pops back up, be smart and verify his excuses with hard, independent evidence before proceeding further. If you're not able to corroborate his story with your own independently obtained evidence, you may assume this guy is just a douche. Maybe he thinks this is his "cute" way of being unavailable but still reaping the benefits...conditioning women to meet his desires without giving back to them. 

I wouldn't get too excited about this guy. If he wants you, he knows how to find you...especially if he's in the CIA!

Edited to add: Just noticed 8 pgs on this thread. Guess I'm late to the party. Hope my message still applies. 

Thank you! I’m not worried about him anymore. He is the one who has to look himself in the mirror and if he has justified these actions as acceptable  to himself then he is one twisted dude. The excitement about where it could have gone is over with for me. All I really wanted was him to actually say he was through rather than leave it up to interpretation. I hate that! And furthermore, my last text to him gave him an easy out and he still chose to ignore. After that there is no way I would ever accept any excuse he would lay out if he ever decided to come back. He knows I was concerned something may have happened and that I wasn’t sure if he was just busy or ignoring me and yet he still CHOSE to leave me in limbo. That isn’t a man and I cannot and will not respect anyone who acts like that. It really is his loss. 

[Sun Seeker]

15 hours ago, Skittle2021 said:

The fact that he said he wanted to be my movie buddy, weekly I thought that was confirmation that we were on the same page

Surely you are not THAT naive? Weekly movie buddy = weekly sex buddy.

Why would any man waste time watching a movie every week in his house with a woman, if it didn't involve sex?

You seem to have the mistaken belief that us men think the same as you women. We don't.

You 100% sent mixed messages with your actions during this whole encounter. He wanted sex and thought you did too. For whatever reason after your messages he came to the conclusion that the effort of doing things your way, taking it slow, getting to know each other as friends first etc, was not worth it to get the prize at the end.

In future, if you want to wait before having sex with someone, do not go back to their house, do not let them kiss you and massage you, do not get into their bed. You allowing these things to happen, regardless if you didn't do them back, was a massive green light that you were DTF.

Edited May 5, 2021 by Punterxx

[Skittle2021]

16 minutes ago, Punterxx said:

Surely you are not THAT naive? Weekly movie buddy = weekly sex buddy.

Why would any man waste time watching a movie every week in his house with a woman, if it didn't involve sex?

You seem to have the mistaken belief that us men think the same as you women. We don't.

You 100% sent mixed messages with your actions during this whole encounter. He wanted sex and thought you did too. For whatever reason after your messages he came to the conclusion that the effort of doing things your way, taking it slow, getting to know each other as friends first etc, was not worth it to get the prize at the end.

In future, if you want to wait before having sex with someone, do not go back to their house, do not let them kiss you and massage you, do not get into their bed. You allowing these things to happen, regardless if you didn't do them back, was a massive green light that you were DTF.

Well I guess I am naive because I met him under the pretense that we would be movie buddies. This was established  before the first date even started. While at his house on the couch watching movies is when he said we should watch movies together weekly. So no, I did not think that meant sex every week especially since we never had it. 
 

I understand that men and women don’t think the same. You asked why would I think that a man would be ok with that without sex.. well because I have had many movie nights with my male friends that did not involve any sex, that’s why. I assumed he would be one more especially since I was upfront about that since convo number 1. I would counter that by asking why would a man suggest watching movies every week when that was not what he truly intended. This was obvious when I asked him if he was serious about the weekly movies and he never bothered to answer. There was plenty of opportunity for him to be upfront and honest about that. It seems like men expect us to be honest but don’t feel that they need to do the same. It’s obvious he wanted something different the entire time while pretending that he was ok with just watching movies.
 

I have received your feedback and everyone else’s feedback about the mixed messages. He could have also easily expressed that he felt I gave him mixed signals and such. Aside from going to his house and being in his bed, I did think we were in the same page. 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Skittle2021

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, Skittle2021 said:

Although I agree with your latter statement, How can you say there is no reason for him to be upset? Y’all claim that I lead him on and gave him mixed signals. That is a very valid reason to be upset. Also if you are indeed ghosting someone because you don’t want to talk to them, if that RS he’s out and tells you that it’s fine if you no longer wish to communicate you would just like to know and that the person is ok. To further make a choice to even ignore that speaks volumes. That is mean. If you are indeed done with someone what’s wrong with saying.. im fine. I just don’t think it will work out. Him choosing not to respond to a text like that makes it seem as though he was angry at me for whatever reason. None of that is neither here nor there. I will definitely weigh a mans perception  in this over what a woman thinks because we don’t think alike. 

You speak about this as if you and him were in a relationship. If he was done with you? You and him didn't have a start yet so there was nothing to end. You were just another woman on the net. 

You gave importance to every word he spoke even if he was a total stranger.

You were no-one to him. Just a woman he met ONCE and hoped he'd have sex out of it. He didn't ghost you because he's angry, he ghost you because he doesn't care enough to put a sentence together on his phone for you. To feel anger toward someone you first have to care. He never cared. Since that night he probably brought 3 other women to his place.

I am glad you have a loving father that can guide you throught this but, if he's not an online dater, he doesn't know the mentality of OLD and all the lies & games that's played on there. Many of us have online dating experience but you think you know best. 

[Skittle2021]

14 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

You speak about this as if you and him were in a relationship. If he was done with you? You and him didn't have a start yet so there was nothing to end. You were just another woman on the net. 

You gave importance to every word he spoke even if he was a total stranger.

You were no-one to him. Just a woman he met ONCE and hoped he'd have sex out of it. He didn't ghost you because he's angry, he ghost you because he doesn't care enough to put a sentence together on his phone for you. To feel anger toward someone you first have to care. He never cared. Since that night he probably brought 3 other women to his place.

I am glad you have a loving father that can guide you throught this but, if he's not an online dater, he doesn't know the mentality of OLD and all the lies & games that's played on there. Many of us have online dating experience but you think you know best. 

Umm no, I don’t think I know best, I just don’t share the same opinions as others. I never dealt with a men like this, never have. I have said this before. Maybe it is a cultural thing but like I also mentioned earlier, where I’m from men don’t do ish like this. They are usually for the most part very upfront about what it is, usually very brutally honest. That is what I’m used to. And also I have met many men on OLD that say they aren’t looking for something serious etc... I respect that. Telling someone the truth about intentions puts the ball in the receivers hand to decide if they wish to pursue anything in spite of knowing what it is.  but this one said he was looking for a relationship, said he was ok with how I wanted to take things (friends first) and wanted to be my “movie buddy” and then suggested doing it weekly. When I came back to confirm if he ws truly serious, I seemingly got punished for it with his lack of response. I do not believe that I should not have held him accountable for something HE said. Men like this should be called out for stuff like this. If more people were called out for ghosting and behaviors like this instead of writing it off as acceptable or it just happens, then maybe it wouldn’t happen so often. I have already admitted my fault in this and not analyzing it from a male perspective but still, none of this excuses his actions. I will never agree with that. I don’t cate if there was no relationship. We went out, I spent time with him. I wanted to know why he just cut me off and I have a right to want to know. Period. I don’t need to explain that. What part of that is hard for people to understand? 
 

also, I should add that I have a grandfather who had 28 kids with no women troubled. People ask how is that possible and I have even asked myself. His answer was this... I never lied to them, I was upfront about who I was ( he wasn’t the relationship type) and my intentions and they respected me for that. He had a solid relationship with all his baby mothers and didn’t get married till he was 75.

my dad (his son) was a rolling stone too, until he met my mother. He doesn’t have any kids outside of his marriage to my mom but he also said the same thing. He was always honest. 

both were honest and still Got all the women they wanted. 
 

which means, there is no excuse for lying and playing games. It’s unacceptable 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Skittle2021

[Gaeta]

11 minutes ago, Skittle2021 said:

 I don’t cate if there was no relationship. We went out, I spent time with him. I wanted to know why he just cut me off and I have a right to want to know. Period. I don’t need to explain that. What part of that is hard for people to understand? 

I don't remember you mentionned where you're from. I am Canadian and OLD here is like walking through a minefield of liars. When I make contact with a man I don't beleive anything he says  online, or on our first meeting, or on our first 5 meetings. I listen, I smile but it all goes in one ear, out the other. I watch for actions: Does he call when he says he will, is he on time, does he plan dates, is he interested in what I say, is he true to his words, etc. Then about 80% of them will ghost after a 1st or 2nd date. If I went after all those men that ghosted me I'd be in a mental health facility! The letting go isn't about making it easy for them, the letting go is about being kind to yourself, because it's not good for you to be mad constantly at a stranger for not caring enough. When I was online dating I was making 2-3 new meetings per week. If their ghosting made me mad I would have been mad full time with the amount of men I met, and the amount of men that ghosted me. 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Gaeta

[Gaeta]

15 minutes ago, Skittle2021 said:

also, I should add that I have a grandfather who had 28 kids with no women troubled. People ask how is that possible and I have even asked myself. His answer was this... I never lied to them, I was upfront about who I was ( he wasn’t the relationship type) and my intentions and they respected me for that. He had a solid relationship with all his baby mothers and didn’t get married till he was 75.

I know, I know, I have an amazing father who's been married to my mom for 56 years. I have 3 brothers who are loving husbands & fathers who don't lie, don't play, who are genuine, and for me it's been an impossible journey to find a man that's half the man my father/brothers are.

[Skittle2021]

12 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I know, I know, I have an amazing father who's been married to my mom for 56 years. I have 3 brothers who are loving husbands & fathers who don't lie, don't play, who are genuine, and for me it's been an impossible journey to find a man that's half the man my father/brothers are.

Preach! It’s really maddening to find that lack of quality of men out here. It’s ridiculous. My dad always taught my brother to be a man of his word and says to use that as a foundation of determining if he is a good man. He says if a mans word is no good, then neither is he. This has held true so far and applies to this very situation. Like what has already been presented, He never intended to see me causally every week to just watch movies and cuddle, he Intended to have sex every week and when confronted about it, and (he knew he wasn’t sincere) he danced around it and went silent. He better not even try to come back because all hell will break lose. 

[Skittle2021]

29 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I don't remember you mentionned where you're from. I am Canadian and OLD here is like walking through a minefield of liars. When I make contact with a man I don't beleive anything he says  online, or on our first meeting, or on our first 5 meetings. I listen, I smile but it all goes in one ear, out the other. I watch for actions: Does he call when he says he will, is he on time, does he plan dates, is he interested in what I say, is he true to his words, etc. Then about 80% of them will ghost after a 1st or 2nd date. If I went after all those men that ghosted me I'd be in a mental health facility! The letting go isn't about making it easy for them, the letting go is about being kind to yourself, because it's not good for you to be mad constantly at a stranger for not caring enough. When I was online dating I was making 2-3 new meetings per week. If their ghosting made me mad I would have been mad full time with the amount of men I met, and the amount of men that ghosted me. 

I see what you mean and may need to take a step back from this OLD for a while until I can wrap my head around what it is . I mentioned that I am from NY earlier in the replies. Men in NY don’t beat around the bush like this and don’t mind telling you it’s not working. It has been like this even while I was in my teens growing up. They think that kind of stuff is as what we used to say “wack”.. lol  now on the contrary, if the person is crazy and starts acting crazy then that is a different story. I really had a false perception of how mean act in OLD.  

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, Skittle2021 said:

How can you say there is no reason for him to be upset? Y’all claim that I lead him on and gave him mixed signals. That is a very valid reason to be upset

I just don't think he cares that much, Skittle.  That's why. 

You are confusing disinterest with anger. 

Edited May 5, 2021 by ExpatInItaly

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Skittle2021 said:

Well I guess I am naive because I met him under the pretense that we would be movie buddies. This was established  before the first date even started.

Yes, you are naive if you believe he honestly meant "movie buddies."

What grown man looks for movie buddies on dating apps? I don't mean any offense to you Skittle, but you really need to get out more if you fell for that. 

 

[Skittle2021]

5 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Yes, you are naive if you believe he honestly meant "movie buddies."

What grown man looks for movie buddies on dating apps? I don't mean any offense to you Skittle, but you really need to get out more if you fell for that. 

 

No offense taken. I did believe him so I am naive and need to get out more. 

[Skittle2021]

9 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I just don't think he cares that much, Skittle.  That's why. 

You are confusing disinterest with anger. 

I guess you are right. If I was disinterested, I would still give a response because I am a decent human being. I care about people and how my actions may affect someone. I should not have assumed that others would do the same. 

[ExpatInItaly]

7 minutes ago, Skittle2021 said:

I guess you are right. If I was disinterested, I would still give a response because I am a decent human being. I care about people and how my actions may affect someone. I should not have assumed that others would do the same. 

This is the crux of it, yes. 

You can't assume others will think and act the way you do, especially when it comes to dating. Any guy who offers up being "movie buddies" before the first date even happens is not someone who thinks the way you do. That says "player" all over it, and not a guy who's much interested in getting to know you first before trying to have sex with you. Perhaps he thought you would read between the lines there and realize what "movie buddy" actually means, who knows. Either way, he was not as attached to the outcome as you were, and his goal appears to be sex. As such, he is unlikely to have had much of an emotional reaction (such as anger) to you not sleeping with him. Being angry would imply that he cares on some level, and I just don't see evidence that he cares. 

Live and learn. It will help you better identify sex-focused men in the future. 

[thewoomensay]

On 5/1/2021 at 6:16 AM, Alfano said:

I highly doubt he works for the CIA.

This right here!

They  never tell you when they are. 

[Skittle2021]

2 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

This is the crux of it, yes. 

You can't assume others will think and act the way you do, especially when it comes to dating. Any guy who offers up being "movie buddies" before the first date even happens is not someone who thinks the way you do. That says "player" all over it, and not a guy who's much interested in getting to know you first before trying to have sex with you. Perhaps he thought you would read between the lines there and realize what "movie buddy" actually means, who knows. Either way, he was not as attached to the outcome as you were, and his goal appears to be sex. As such, he is unlikely to have had much of an emotional reaction (such as anger) to you not sleeping with him. Being angry would imply that he cares on some level, and I just don't see evidence that he cares. 

Live and learn. It will help you better identify sex-focused men in the future. 

Thank you so much. I understand that perfectly. Just to make sure I understand, when you say offer up movie buddies are you saying just at the house or in general. I ask because the agreement before the date was to just go to the movies at the movie theatre (in which we did) the house movie extension just happened after the actual date if that makes sense... 

[ExpatInItaly]

1 minute ago, Skittle2021 said:

the house movie extension just happened after the actual date if that makes sense... 

Suggesting you be home-movie buddies is a thinly-veiled invitation for sex, yes. 

Was this his idea?

[Skittle2021]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

Suggesting you be home-movie buddies is a thinly-veiled invitation for sex, yes. 

Was this his idea?

Yes, that was his idea. 

[Skittle2021]

33 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Suggesting you be home-movie buddies is a thinly-veiled invitation for sex, yes. 

Was this his idea?

I was totally ok with leaving things as they were. Going to the movies together whenever a new movie came out that we both wanted to see. This is how the first date started. After the first date movie happened and we went back to his place and watched more movies. I assumed (once again) that since he suggested we do that weekly meant that he was having a good time and enjoyed my company. I wasn’t even thinking about sex. I know I know, men don’t think like we do. I’m just telling you what and how I was thinking 

 

 We had a good time, so sex most likely would have happened down the line while we were chilling and getting to know each other. Like the other poster mentioned, I guess he just wasn’t willing to wait. He wanted it right away. 

[Calmandfocused]

3 hours ago, Skittle2021 said:

Umm no, I don’t think I know best, I just don’t share the same opinions as others. I never dealt with a men like this, never have. I have said this before. Maybe it is a cultural thing but like I also mentioned earlier, where I’m from men don’t do ish like this. They are usually for the most part very upfront about what it is, usually very brutally honest. That is what I’m used to. And also I have met many men on OLD that say they aren’t looking for something serious etc... I respect that. Telling someone the truth about intentions puts the ball in the receivers hand to decide if they wish to pursue anything in spite of knowing what it is.  but this one said he was looking for a relationship, said he was ok with how I wanted to take things (friends first) and wanted to be my “movie buddy” and then suggested doing it weekly. When I came back to confirm if he ws truly serious, I seemingly got punished for it with his lack of response. I do not believe that I should not have held him accountable for something HE said. Men like this should be called out for stuff like this. If more people were called out for ghosting and behaviors like this instead of writing it off as acceptable or it just happens, then maybe it wouldn’t happen so often. I have already admitted my fault in this and not analyzing it from a male perspective but still, none of this excuses his actions. I will never agree with that. I don’t cate if there was no relationship. We went out, I spent time with him. I wanted to know why he just cut me off and I have a right to want to know. Period. I don’t need to explain that. What part of that is hard for people to understand? 
 

also, I should add that I have a grandfather who had 28 kids with no women troubled. People ask how is that possible and I have even asked myself. His answer was this... I never lied to them, I was upfront about who I was ( he wasn’t the relationship type) and my intentions and they respected me for that. He had a solid relationship with all his baby mothers and didn’t get married till he was 75.

my dad (his son) was a rolling stone too, until he met my mother. He doesn’t have any kids outside of his marriage to my mom but he also said the same thing. He was always honest. 

both were honest and still Got all the women they wanted. 
 

which means, there is no excuse for lying and playing games. It’s unacceptable 

100% agree with Gaeta. 

Men can date with the intention of finding a relationship. It doesn’t mean that they have intentions to get into a relationship with every woman they date. 
 

I therefore can’t see any evidence that he “lied” about his intentions. He just wasn’t feeling it for you. 
 

And that is ok. It doesn’t make him the devil incarnate, he doesn’t have to “pay for his sins” just because he wasn’t feeling it and he ghosted you. 
 

Gosh if that was the case they’d be no on line daters left. They’d be too busy repenting for their sins. 
 

Let this go Op. You’re way too emotional about this. 
 

My advice is not to be so defensive to the posters who are trying to help you. Justifying every detail isn’t helping you. 
 

Btw he’s not angry but you definitely are! 
 

 

 

[Skittle2021]

13 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

100% agree with Gaeta. 

Men can date with the intention of finding a relationship. It doesn’t mean that they have intentions to get into a relationship with every woman they date. 
 

I therefore can’t see any evidence that he “lied” about his intentions. He just wasn’t feeling it for you. 
 

And that is ok. It doesn’t make him the devil incarnate, he doesn’t have to “pay for his sins” just because he wasn’t feeling it and he ghosted you. 
 

Gosh if that was the case they’d be no on line daters left. They’d be too busy repenting for their sins. 
 

Let this go Op. You’re way too emotional about this. 
 

My advice is not to be so defensive to the posters who are trying to help you. Justifying every detail isn’t helping you. 
 

Btw he’s not angry but you definitely are! 
 

 

 

My advice to you is to stop making assumptions. I am so tired of people making excuses for this and making up their own understanding of what happened and how I feel or am supposed to feel. I didn’t say he had to date me or be in a relationship. I said he didn’t have to ghost me. I didn’t like it! Period. Stop telling me how I’m supposed to feel and who is or isn’t a horrible person because you don’t find anything wrong with what they did. I’m grown, I make my own decisions and if I feel that what he did was disrespectful and he owed me an explanation then that is how I feel. I was angry, I never said I wasn’t. I don’t need you to tell me that. No one is happy when they get ghosted. He did lie.if he said he wanted to chill every week and he obviously didn’t that is a lie. If you didn’t read all the comments then please don’t comment. He is a horrible person for ghosting. Anyone who ghosts anyone ia a coward and is a horrible person. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel that way. You aren’t me and I don’t excuse this kind of behavior.  Im pretty sure my problem with his behavior has nothing to do with the fact that he didn’t want a relationship. Stop speaking for me because I never said any of that. It was about ghosting, it was rude and uncalled for period.

at this point, I am Just responding to what is presented to me. I have said it over and over again that I’m not worried about this anymore and I have made my peace with it. Everything going forward is just me absorbing and sharing my thoughts on what’s presented from other posters. 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Skittle2021

[Calmandfocused]

You have to remember that you cannot control anybody but yourself. Just because someone does something that you dislike/ hate whatever it doesn’t make them a horrible person. 
 

Sometimes people ghost for self preservation and/ or to protect themselves. I stated on the the first page of this thread that I think you came across as over intense. I’ve not changed my position on that and I still think you should try and see this point of view rather than jumping into defence mode. 
 

I also still don’t believe he intentionally lied. He said what he felt at the time but ultimately he didn’t mean it. 
 

However evidently I am wasting my time as are all the posters who have tried to help you see clarity. Unfortunately you’re going to hold onto this your way or no way, and there’s nothing we can say to change that. 
 

So I’ll sign off by wishing you all the best. Good luck 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Calmandfocused

[Skittle2021]

16 minutes ago, Calmandfocused said:

You have to remember that you cannot control anybody but yourself. Just because someone does something that you dislike/ hate whatever it doesn’t make them a horrible person. 
 

Sometimes people ghost for self preservation and/ or to protect themselves. I stated on the the first page of this thread that I think you came across as over intense. I’ve not changed my position on that and I still think you should try and see this point of view rather than jumping into defence mode. 
 

I also still don’t believe he intentionally lied. He said what he felt at the time but ultimately he didn’t mean it. 
 

However evidently I am wasting my time as are all the posters who have tried to help you see clarity. Unfortunately you’re going to hold onto this your way or no way, and there’s nothing we can say to change that. 
 

So I’ll sign off by wishing you all the best. Good luck 

I don’t feel I need to explain my disposition of why ghosting is a horrible character trait. You don’t think that so we will never agree on that. 

you said he didn’t intentionally lie... however he still lied... and if that is so, that means that I didn’t intentionally lead him on and send him mixed messages. The double standard is real. You said that I was overly intense because I asked him if he was serious about something “he” said. Of course I don’t agree. That further implies that I did not deserve to hold him accountable for what he said and because I did I was in the wrong and that justifies his reasoning for ghosting me. ... once again excusing his behavior and giving him a pass. Double standard at its finest. I don’t regret asking that question and don’t care if he felt some kind of way about it, if that does have any reason for his disappearance. He didn’t expect to be called out for it and he didn’t answer because he didn’t mean it. When all he had to do was be a man and say that. 

If he was a mature adult and properly communicated whatever the heck he was supposedly communicating with his silence, then this post would never exist. I will say it again. I don’t accept ghosting as a response or silence as communication. To me it is not! Anyone acting like that is going to piss me off. Someone who has to ghost shouldn’t be dating, not someone who is bothered by the ghosting as having to accept it. That’s blasphemy. I will also say this again, if more people stopped accepting this behavior as Normal and acceptable and started calling people out who do this, it would be less likely to happen. It happens because people have become desensitized to this because right how often it happens and there are no consequences. 

Imo I find that women are judged more harshly in situations like this and then men are given a pass. When it comes to women, it’s always oh your should have did this, shouldn’t have done that, you should have known this, you should have known that.. you shouldn’t say this, you shouldn’t ask that?? It needs to stop. We all have different personalities and tolerances and for that no one had any right to tell someone they shouldn’t feel this way or justify the behavior of the person who has caused discomfort to another. 
 

lastly, im not holding on to anything, but ok...

 

 

[Gaeta]

3 minutes ago, Skittle2021 said:

It happens because people have become desensitized to this because right how often it happens and there are no consequences. 

But what consequences? Being told by a woman they met once that they are a bad person? They laugh at that. They don't care. 

Don't you see, they ghost because they don't care so why do you beleive they'd feel bad receiving a pissy text from the same woman they ghosted? They don't care. Actually it would make them laugh that YOU cared to the point of confronting them about it. 

I'm glad I am desensitized to ghosting, I sleep much bette &, I don't waste energy being mad on the undeserving.