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He suddenly stopped answering my text after the first date


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Posted
4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Yep, considering what you wrote about the physical affection in your very first post - especially allowing him to lead you to his bed - it's totally understandable that he would feel this way. 

Oh well, at least you know what happened.  

Yea, I get it. I said it before and I accepted that I am part to blame for leading him on. I’m glad that I now know and he wants us to talk about it this weekend since I told him I am not available until then. I will see how that goes.. 

Posted

Are you going to apologise?  

  • Like 1
Posted
2 hours ago, Skittle2021 said:

This makes no sense. If he never ghosted, this thread wouldn’t exist. 

Girl you have so many issues and things going on.  Contradictions abound. I can't even be bothered to quote them all.  

One thing is for sure: you keep behaving like this with your dating, I'm guessing there will be many many many more threads started by you.  Your hardheadedness & arrogance is going to prevent you from getting the exact thing you want. Open your mind to the variety of perspectives and explanations being offered here. 

 lol, which btw, after just one date, you are using the word ghost incorrectly.  Your expectations after one date were/are over the top.  

Call me a ghost...I'm out. 🙈

  • Like 4
Posted
12 minutes ago, Skittle2021 said:

Update: I just heard from him surprisingly. He sent me a text saying that he was upset with me because he felt I lead him on. He said that he felt rejected and his ego was hurt because he thought we both liked each other and wanted to have sex and then I shut him down. He needed time to process what he wanted to say which is why he was ignoring me....

meh, he's upset because he didn't have sex. It's allll and only about sex. If he was interested in getting to know you he would have swallowed his pill and date you properly until sex comes. I say he didn't get sex since your last meeting so he's coming back. I told you men sometimes ghost then come back in case you'd be willing for a 2nd serving. 

At the level of outrage you've experience after his ghosting I hope you don't intent on opening your door again. 

  • Like 3
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Posted
1 minute ago, Versacehottie said:

Girl you have so many issues and things going on.  Contradictions abound. I can't even be bothered to quote them all.  

One thing is for sure: you keep behaving like this with your dating, I'm guessing there will be many many many more threads started by you.  Your hardheadedness & arrogance is going to prevent you from getting the exact thing you want. Open your mind to the variety of perspectives and explanations being offered here. 

 lol, which btw, after just one date, you are using the word ghost incorrectly.  Your expectations after one date were/are over the top.  

Call me a ghost...I'm out. 🙈

Well, goodbye 👋

  • Author
Posted
4 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Are you going to apologise?  

For leading him on, yes I will apologize

  • Like 1
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Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

meh, he's upset because he didn't have sex. It's allll and only about sex. If he was interested in getting to know you he would have swallowed his pill and date you properly until sex comes. I say he didn't get sex since your last meeting so he's coming back. I told you men sometimes ghost then come back in case you'd be willing for a 2nd serving. 

At the level of outrage you've experience after his ghosting I hope you don't intent on opening your door again. 

Oh no no no no, there won’t be anything going further. Unlike him I’m not going to ignore. I will apologize for leading him on and listen to what he has to say, but that’s as far as it will go. I told him I was busy. ( I have 2 other dates this week)so his convo will have to wait till I have the time. 

Edited by Skittle2021
  • Like 1
Posted
5 hours ago, Gaeta said:

meh, he's upset because he didn't have sex. It's allll and only about sex.

Bingo. 

I wouldn't bother discussing it much with him, OP. You two had totally different goals for that date, and future movie-buddy dates, and he's still making it about sex. Maybe his other movie buddies were busy this week so he's circling back around to you to make you feel guilty. 

Take this as a lesson in identifying a dude who just wants to get between the sheets. Next. 

  • Like 3
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Posted
2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Bingo. 

I wouldn't bother discussing it much with him, OP. You two had totally different goals for that date, and future movie-buddy dates, and he's still making it about sex. Maybe his other movie buddies were busy this week so he's circling back around to you to make you feel guilty. 

Take this as a lesson in identifying a dude who just wants to get between the sheets. Next. 

Very true. Thank you. 

Posted
11 hours ago, Skittle2021 said:

I’m honesty really starting to get tired of this post. 

Agree. When someone badgers you, just disengage.

  • Like 1
Posted

He has set things up nicely. He told you that he was hurt because you rejected him for sex so if you want to see him again, next time you won't reject him. He is going to try and grab some easy sex that he believes is now on offering.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, Skittle2021 said:

Update: I just heard from him surprisingly. He sent me a text saying that he was upset with me because he felt I lead him on. He said that he felt rejected and his ego was hurt because he thought we both liked each other and wanted to have sex and then I shut him down. He needed time to process what he wanted to say which is why he was ignoring me....

I haven’t responded yet but that’s where it is right now.  

I'm glad my crystal ball was working.  

@Skittle2021 Honestly I think you owe him an apology for your part in the teasing.  That is not to say you must go out with him but hey, he did "man up"& reach out so there is some interest here.  I'd word it something like this: 

"Thanks for reaching out.  When I didn't hear from you right away I must confess I was a bit befuddled.  I apologize for any role I played in confusing you.  I am newly returned to the dating game & apparently I don't know the rules & misread a few things.  I thought we were starting out as movie buddies.  I should never have agreed to sleep at your place but I appreciated the gesture for my safety; I was too tired to drive.  I gave you the wrong impression.  While I like you, I was no where near ready for sex but didn't think about how my actions in staying didn't match my words.  If you are open to getting to know each other better with no more sleep overs unless we get to a much more advanced point in our relationship, I'd love to treat you to lunch on Saturday at [insert restaurant]."

My suggestion for lunch is a very direct sign that you want to talk & take any possibility of sex off the table. 

If you have zero interest in revisiting any of this don't ghost him but say something along the lines of

"I appreciate you taking the time to reach back out to me.  Being newly returned to the dating scene I honestly, maybe naively, didn't realize that when my actions, staying over, didn't match my words I may have confused you.  That said I was never interested in early sex with you.  For me the timing wasn't there.  I do apologize for agreeing to stay over.  In hindsight I should have just gone home.  I learned a lot about this new world we're in but for me anything that could have been between us just fizzled after this.  Thanks again for letting me know where you stand but I think it's best we go our separate ways."     

You have to figure out what you want but for heaven's sake & your own sanity, if you are not open to having sex stay out of the man's bed!

Enjoy your two other dates this weekend but please learn from this & don't climb into their beds easy.  For the 1st couple of dates IMO it's best to keep everything public.  

Edited by d0nnivain
  • Like 2
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Posted
47 minutes ago, Eternal Sunshine said:

He has set things up nicely. He told you that he was hurt because you rejected him for sex so if you want to see him again, next time you won't reject him. He is going to try and grab some easy sex that he believes is now on offering.

There won’t be any chance for that. This whole situation just turned me off completely. I’m not a ghosted so I will have that conversation with him so he knows where I stand. 

  • Like 2
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Posted
33 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

I'm glad my crystal ball was working.  

@Skittle2021 Honestly I think you owe him an apology for your part in the teasing.  That is not to say you must go out with him but hey, he did "man up"& reach out so there is some interest here.  I'd word it something like this: 

"Thanks for reaching out.  When I didn't hear from you right away I must confess I was a bit befuddled.  I apologize for any role I played in confusing you.  I am newly returned to the dating game & apparently I don't know the rules & misread a few things.  I thought we were starting out as movie buddies.  I should never have agreed to sleep at your place but I appreciated the gesture for my safety; I was too tired to drive.  I gave you the wrong impression.  While I like you, I was no where near ready for sex but didn't think about how my actions in staying didn't match my words.  If you are open to getting to know each other better with no more sleep overs unless we get to a much more advanced point in our relationship, I'd love to treat you to lunch on Saturday at [insert restaurant]."

My suggestion for lunch is a very direct sign that you want to talk & take any possibility of sex off the table. 

If you have zero interest in revisiting any of this don't ghost him but say something along the lines of

"I appreciate you taking the time to reach back out to me.  Being newly returned to the dating scene I honestly, maybe naively, didn't realize that when my actions, staying over, didn't match my words I may have confused you.  That said I was never interested in early sex with you.  For me the timing wasn't there.  I do apologize for agreeing to stay over.  In hindsight I should have just gone home.  I learned a lot about this new world we're in but for me anything that could have been between us just fizzled after this.  Thanks again for letting me know where you stand but I think it's best we go our separate ways."     

You have to figure out what you want but for heaven's sake & your own sanity, if you are not open to having sex stay out of the man's bed!

Enjoy your two other dates this weekend but please learn from this & don't climb into their beds easy.  For the 1st couple of dates IMO it's best to keep everything public.  

Thank you for your suggestions. I will go with suggestion number 2 as I don't intend to see him again and I agree with you about not ghosting him. I will have this talk and hopefully he is mature enough to handle it. What he does after that would be on him. 

  • Like 3
Posted

That's fine.  You are being clear & polite.  

You also now have a better sense of boundaries for your upcoming dates.  Have fun.  

  • Like 3
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Posted
37 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

That's fine.  You are being clear & polite.  

You also now have a better sense of boundaries for your upcoming dates.  Have fun.  

Thank you! ♥️

Posted

Let us know how the other dates go.  If you don't want to post publicly, at least PM me.  I'm "invested" now.  🙂

  • Like 2
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Posted
8 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Let us know how the other dates go.  If you don't want to post publicly, at least PM me.  I'm "invested" now.  🙂

Aww thank you! 🥰 I certainly will give you an update ♥️

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Posted

I am interested in an update as well 🙂 and I promise I will not badger you. 

  • Like 3
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Posted
9 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

I am interested in an update as well 🙂 and I promise I will not badger you. 

You got it!

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