Starrs Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 long story short... i met a guy on an app, we dated for about 1 month n a half. we didn’t workout, he said he’s back to talking to this girl who ghosted him for a year? lol idek how dumb you can be to go back to a ghost, but whatever. i asked if we could try again he said no since he has been talking to her and doesn’t think of me romantically... he did say we can be friends though. he said we can hang out and call and text whenever. he mentioned we wouldn’t have sex, since he wants to be loyal to her. what makes me shocked is he has never met her... and he chooses her over me? i explained why we didn’t workout he said that’s no excuse? but this chick just says “hey i lost my phone” for a year?!?! and he goes back to her like nothing. he said he’s liked for years and he only liked me for a month? i feel he’s lying or something but anyways, is it possible to get him interested again? yeah i should move on issue is i don’t wanna get back on apps they’re pointless. this isn’t the same guy btw, new guy but similar issue... i’m seeing him again next week. i saw him this week and he kissed me and held my hand? said he was sorry and wasn’t doing that ever again... he lost control and it reminded him of the good times we had. i’ll appreciate any advice thanks guys
Versacehottie Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 Oh no no no! I'm all for friends who turning into bf/gf but this is not the way. I mean never say never but right now from your tone and as the story is going, your best bet is to put this guy on ice! Right now you are rolling over to everything he wants--it's all on his terms. No, absolutely not. ESPECIALLY as he's told you to your face that he's not into you like that and basically dumped you for another girl who he hasn't even met. You can't get caught up in how illogical that is or how much better you are for him than her. Gotta trust that he's gonna do his thing--and let him do it. Your best bet is to act like you are totally fine with friends and only friends, in the process of accepting just that. Then distance yourself. Work on your self esteem in the meantime so you don't see him as a viable partner & want better for yourself. Maybe with a lot of time and space he will feel differently but it's a real long shot. You have to proceed as if it will never happen and show him from a distance solely from living your life (including dating other guys) in the best way possible. I think often being too available (whereas the online girl he likes is not really available) is the problem. You are almost throwing yourself at him. He knows that if he agrees to see you in a dating sense that it's ON! Basically he knows you will be pushing to be bf/gf. That's not the vibe you want to give off at all. You found this guy on an app so you will meet others that way as well--ie it's not pointless. He sounds like he needs to grow up as well as he may never see your value without some space between you and him---and realistically if he's formed an opinion, he may never see your value, period. Focus on yourself and new opportunities! Good luck
ShyViolet Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 He already made it clear that he's not interested in you. No, you can't "make" him interested. The whole situation with the other girl is irrelevant. Accept that he is not interested in you and don't throw yourself at him. Being desperate is not attractive. 1
introverted1 Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 You can't make anyone do anything, including be interested in you romantically if they just want to be friends. There's no point in trying to logic him into seeing you as a good choice. At most, you'll succeed in getting him to have sex with you, although, to his credit, he has stated he wants to be loyal to the girl he's interested in. But even if he did have sex with you, it would be pretty hollow since he's told you unequivocally that he is not interested in you romantically. Withdraw from this situation. He's not the last guy on earth. If you don't want to get back on apps, then think about activities you can participate in that will bring you into contact with other guys. 1
basil67 Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 1 hour ago, Starrs said: i explained why we didn’t workout he said that’s no excuse? Why didn't you work out?
Wiseman2 Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 (edited) Unfortunately he seems too flaky to date. A lot of headaches and heartaches and drama. Never get involved in triangles or other people's on/off nonsense. Time is your most valuable asset. Wasting time on indifferent or flaky people will just burn you out. Start fresh with someone who's not this annoying. Have you read the book "He's Just Not That Into You"? Maybe it can provide insight into who's a waste of time and who's worth investigating in Edited May 1, 2021 by Wiseman2 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 6 hours ago, Starrs said: he said he’s back to talking to this girl who ghosted him for a year? lol idek how dumb you can be OP, your own thinking and behaviour is equally illogical here. I would not throw stones from that glass house you're constructing. He's made it very clear he doesn't wish to date you. That's your cue to maintain your dignity and walk away, not to cling harder and refuse to accept it. You can't make someone interested if he just isn't. And he isn't. Time to let go. Don't turn into that woman who makes herself look desperate. 3
d0nnivain Posted May 1, 2021 Posted May 1, 2021 You are barking up the wrong tree & wasting your time. When a man friendzones a woman it's because the other women he prefers is somebody he is more sexually attracted to. this is never going to work out the way you want. 1
spiderowl Posted May 2, 2021 Posted May 2, 2021 He is not interested so please don't waste your time on him. If you chase a guy by making an effort to get him back, he will not respect you for it and it will put him off. He doesn't sound that special really. Think about what you want in a guy and then compare him with your list. 1
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