chillii Posted May 3, 2021 Posted May 3, 2021 (edited) 9 hours ago, peach302 said: People get confused between narcissistic traits and actually having the disorder (NPD). Its next to impossible to build anything of substance with someone who has the disorder unless you want to start questioning your own sanity and don't mind being abused constantly. No kidding , l know , that's my point, twas a joke. What you haven't noticed 90% of people on forums dating seem to think they meet - according to them, 3 narcs a wk these days. All the backyard diagnosing going on out there now just cracks me up. A friend of mine is a shrink and says it can take 2 or 3 sessions even with 20yrs of qualifications and experience to correctly diagnose a true narc. ps , anyway op , if you do meet him just take a mirror along, and he can happily chat away with himself all night. Edited May 3, 2021 by chillii 1
peach302 Posted May 3, 2021 Posted May 3, 2021 22 minutes ago, chillii said: No kidding , l know , that's my point, twas a joke. What you haven't noticed 90% of people on forums dating seem to think they meet - according to them, 3 narcs a wk these days. All the backyard diagnosing going on out there now just cracks me up. A friend of mine is a shrink and says it can take 2 or 3 sessions even with 20yrs of qualifications and experience to correctly diagnose a true narc. ps , anyway op , if you do meet him just take a mirror along, and he can happily chat away with himself all night. Lol at the mirror comment. Yh i think there's definitely people diagnosing too many people as narcs..when maybe they're just selfish people rather than narcs. I have however have a 100% had connections with a narcissist and only realised years later.
MsJayne Posted May 3, 2021 Posted May 3, 2021 (edited) 16 hours ago, smackie9 said: I lived it...my mother is a Narcissist. It's was a horrible, painful upbringing, and today our relationship is so strained. Even talking to her on the phone is emotionally draining, and sometimes I'm just reeling from it for hours afterwards. Narcissists come off as charming at first, I call it phony nice. This is the cloak they wear in public. But behind closed doors, those who are close get the full brunt of it's ugliness. The grandiose thing yes can be a sign, but there is much much more, like the gaslighting, verbal abuse, condescending underhanded criticism, etc. But most often that's hidden from public view. Most Narcissists and psychopaths are difficult to recognize because they are so charming, and easy to talk to. If I told any of my mom's friends what she's really like they would never believe me. Snap, me too. If you've known a full-blown one, especially the covert variety who often present a sunny personality to the world, you get better and better at recognising the signs, but because of the nature of it you can never just say, "so and so is a narcissist", because they may just be an egotistical bore with poor social skills. I recently backed away from a female friend, after two years of getting to know her, because I'd started to really notice the increase in condescension, the subtle put downs, the underhanded attempts to manipulate and cause drama. After being out of her sphere for a few weeks I looked back and saw some of her behaviour in a totally different light - what I'd passed off as her just being 'bubbly' I now recognised as just an outright need to be the center of attention and a need for constant admiration, combined with a lack of self awareness, and a need to rid her circle of anyone who didn't kiss her butt enough, (eg: a young girl who was doing an apprenticeship where the narc worked, and who was forced out of her job because the narc is in the management team and was obviously jealous of her - the girl was very attractive, model material, and talented too, but she refused to pay homage to the narc, so the narc was very cool in the way she communicated with the young girl, making it obvious that she didn't like her, but in such a way that she could never be accused of bullying or any other unacceptable workplace behaviour). The thing about this thread is that so many people are saying you can't diagnose personality disorders or borderline PD's, etc, which is true, but you don't have to be Sigmund Freud to spot someone who is so into themselves that they're unlikeable and unpleasant to be around, and you can't deny that a person who makes other people uncomfortable and/or angry on a regular basis probably has some sort of disorder. [] Edited May 4, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator argumentative 1
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