sky15 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 We met almost 4 months ago and we clicked immediately (I'm 24 he's 27). We really felt like we've known each other forever! During the first 2 months he used to call me EVERYDAY and talk for like 3-5 hours about really everything. And when we hang out, we really have a good time and we laugh a lot. He's always too nice that he refuses to let me pay for dinner and calls me when i'm on my way back home, every time. He made it clear from the beginning that he considered me a really close friend, and that he was not interested in anything else. I came to know later that his last relationship did not end will and that he still hasn't recovered from it until now, so he is now just terrified of girls falling for him. I was totally fine with that because I only see him as a friend and thought we'd be realllyy great as best-friends, but I was too afraid to get closer to him because I didn't want to scare him off. I was too careful not to show a lot of interest, while he was putting more effort than me. Lately, he started pulling away and acting different. He stopped calling me and started to reply to my messages very very late. I thought he lost interest and so I also pulled away to give him space, but then after 4 days of no-contact, he texted me asking if everything is ok in my life, and said "You're my best-friend"! :/ I don't understand! Because even when I tried to act like a "best-friend" and asked him what's going on he got all weird as if nothing is wrong and I'm just being dramatic! What is going on seriously? He's been driving me crazy for 3 weeks and now I'm starting to lose interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 30 minutes ago, sky15 said: We met almost 4 months ago and we clicked immediately. We really felt like we've known each other forever. Lately, he started pulling away and acting different. He stopped calling me and started to reply to my messages very very late. He's been driving me crazy for 3 weeks and now I'm starting to lose interest. Sorry this is happening. You're way too close. Too close for either of you to date people. In fact you describe this as more of a dating/fwb situation. Continue to pull back. Maybe he started dating, maybe he's back with an ex who knows. After being "friends" for 16 weeks you really don't know him well. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 (edited) You should be losing interest. He said he wasn't interested in anything else so why should you emotionally invest in this or not remain aloof? I would be wary of a man who calls every day expecting you to be his best friend and yet isn't interested in anything romantically. Not only is he sapping up all the viable and good hours of the day (preventing you from spending time with someone else more worthwhile), he's also emotionally draining because of the lack of boundaries and the expectation having to be available. Unless he actually has the courage to drop those walls and ask you out on a date, count this as completely inconsequential. Whether he stays or goes shouldn't matter. Please don't make yourself so available to someone who doesn't see you as more than friends if that's what you're looking for. Edited April 30, 2021 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 10, 2021 Share Posted May 10, 2021 (edited) FWB relationships can get really messy as neither really understands what the other wants. In this case, he has signalled that he sees you as his best friend but he has not mentioned a romantic relationship. I think that is a warning to you not to get too involved. It sounds like you are already involved but this guy is not going to give you what you want. If he senses you are more interested in romance than what he is offering, he may pull back so as not to get your hopes up. When you pulled back too, he wondered what was happening. All in all, this is not the relationship you want, it is too wishy-washy. I doubt he has changed his mind or he would be chasing you and trying to get you to commit to more. If you want romance, let this guy go and find another FWB while you seek what you need. Edited May 10, 2021 by spiderowl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted May 14, 2021 Share Posted May 14, 2021 He sounds unsure of himself and you. You need to play it by ear so to speak and see. My experience is that people who act super friendly when you first meet them are acting and trying too hard. It is odd. May be fear or nothing. Take this very slow. Link to post Share on other sites
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