ohso Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 I've got an a app for making new friendships and I've been in contact with a guy for months and he writes me long messages. I wanted us to meet in person but he said he had no time now for that. Later on he told me about few other girls he met just now on the app in real life. That hurt me since he lied about not having time to meet me obviously. He asked them out, but still not me. I really thought this guy was nice before and I don't know what to do now? Should I say something about it? I'm afraid I'll turn out as clingy, jealous or something. Anyway, do you think I should even trust this guy or not? How do I proceed from this? Why is he acting like this? He doesn't think much of me right? But he keeps on writing me long messages so I'm confused. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 1 minute ago, ohso said: I've got an a app for making new friendships and I've been in contact with a guy for months and he writes me long messages. Was this a friendship app or a dating app? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 If it is an app for making new friendships why are you getting upset that he is not asking you out? He writes you long text messages as he sees you as a friend... Stop confusing friendships with dating, if you want to date then go on a dating app or expand your social life so you can meet someone IRL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ohso Posted April 30, 2021 Author Share Posted April 30, 2021 (edited) It's a friendship app.I think I've already explained why I am upset. I see him as a friend but I don't know does he see me like that too or is he just bored. Edited April 30, 2021 by ohso Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted April 30, 2021 Share Posted April 30, 2021 6 hours ago, elaine567 said: Stop confusing friendships with dating, if you want to date then go on a dating app or expand your social life so you can meet someone IRL Agree. Get a good profile and pics on some quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting local interested men. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 For whatever reason, he's not interested in meeting or he would have asked you. I'm sorry if you got attached to him. I don't think anything you say or do could make a difference if he is not making a move, so don't worry about that. Best to turn your attention elsewhere if you want to find people who are ready to meet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 He already made it clear that he's not interested in meeting in person. So what is your question exactly? There's nothing you need to do, except adjust your expectations and stop thinking that anything is going to come from this. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 (edited) On 4/30/2021 at 2:56 AM, ohso said: I've got an a app for making new friendships and I've been in contact with a guy for months and he writes me long messages. I wanted us to meet in person but he said he had no time now for that. Later on he told me about few other girls he met just now on the app in real life. That hurt me since he lied about not having time to meet me obviously. He asked them out, but still not me. I really thought this guy was nice before and I don't know what to do now? Should I say something about it? I'm afraid I'll turn out as clingy, jealous or something. Anyway, do you think I should even trust this guy or not? How do I proceed from this? Why is he acting like this? He doesn't think much of me right? But he keeps on writing me long messages so I'm confused. He is NOT nice. Someone who refuses to give you the time of day and meet like a normal person for friendship on a friendship app and yet monopolizes your time talking about the long, erroneous details of his love life is not a friend. You are not being clingy by walking away from this. Don't worry about responding to this particular person. Free up your time to make new friends. Edited May 1, 2021 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 1, 2021 Share Posted May 1, 2021 On 4/30/2021 at 8:13 PM, ohso said: It's a friendship app.I think I've already explained why I am upset. I see him as a friend but I don't know does he see me like that too or is he just bored. He does see you as a friend. But he sees you as an online friend rather than a face to face friend. If you are particularly looking for face to face friends, then by all means move on. But that someone want a different friendship dynamic to you is nothing to be upset over. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 On 4/30/2021 at 10:56 AM, ohso said: I've got an a app for making new friendships and I've been in contact with a guy for months and he writes me long messages. I wanted us to meet in person but he said he had no time now for that. Later on he told me about few other girls he met just now on the app in real life. That hurt me since he lied about not having time to meet me obviously. He asked them out, but still not me. Tell him you've got a date with somebody, and see how he reacts. If he responds in a way that suggests nothing more than feelings of friendship (eg "that's great, look forward to hearing about it") then that will let you know his feelings don't run further than friendship - or, even if they do, that he's not planning on doing anything about it. In my experience, male friends are often happy to tell you all about other women they fancy/are pursuing..but if you let them know about times you've bumped into a guy you've had some chemistry with they can suddenly get a bit stony faced looking. Double standards abound. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 11 hours ago, basil67 said: He does see you as a friend. But he sees you as an online friend rather than a face to face friend. I think that may be the problem. He is happy to be seen with these other girls, but he does not want to be seen out in public with the OP.... He wants to keep her online and out of the way, and that hurts.. Link to post Share on other sites
Sun Seeker Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 Why would he want to meet you? Meeting you as friends would be a complete waste of time, time which could be spent meeting romantic interests for dates. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 He is neither clueless nor manipulative. You, however, changed the parameters & then unfairly got mad at him. You met on a FRIENDSHIP app. He was been friendly, writing long messages. You wanted to meet. He said no, which is understandably disappointing. Then you found out he is dating other girls. Now you are hurt but that is unfair to him. You said you wanted FRIENDSHIP & he gave you friendship. But you were dishonest. You really wanted romance which he's not giving you. You are upset. It's understandable because rejection hurts but do you understand your role in what happened? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 2, 2021 Share Posted May 2, 2021 (edited) 11 hours ago, elaine567 said: He is happy to be seen with these other girls, but he does not want to be seen out in public with the OP.... Oh....I was thinking that the other women he met were dates rather than friends. Edited May 2, 2021 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
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