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first date woes


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Posted (edited)

That's fine.

I once went on a first date with a man who did not show up and later left me a voicemail shouting at me for not showing up.

Dating, unfortunately, can be a huge waste of time. But it's either your sofa or a (fun evening with a pleasant person (hopefully) who might or may not call later.

Edited by Alpaca
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Posted
3 minutes ago, Alpaca said:

That's fine.

I once went on a first date with a man who did not show up and later left me a voicemail shouting at me for not showing up.

Dating, unfortunately, can be a huge waste of time. But it's either your sofa or a (fun evening with a pleasant person (hopefully) who might or may not call later.

oh gosh...

 

but yea, it gets me out of the house at this point.

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, wanderingthoughts11 said:

let me go browsing again and see what is out there 🙂

Exactly. Block/delete him and talk to and meet other men.

Edited by Wiseman2
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Posted
1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

Exactly. Block/delete him and talk to and meet other men.

i think i will try again tomorrow-- today is rough lol

Posted

At least your not paying for the dates.

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Posted (edited)
22 minutes ago, Phallacy said:

At least your not paying for the dates.

lol..i have paid plenty on dates then never went out with them again.

Edited by wanderingthoughts11
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Posted
On 4/29/2021 at 8:48 PM, wanderingthoughts11 said:

Thats the thing,  i am very social person and talk to anyone. I am from the south-- still nada lol. Maybe one day who knows .

Its either you're meeting the wrong people or how you come across on a first date.

I've met duds too..but there have always been a number of people who want to see me for a second date. Id assume that's normal. 

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Posted
1 minute ago, peach302 said:

Its either you're meeting the wrong people or how you come across on a first date.

I've met duds too..but there have always been a number of people who want to see me for a second date. Id assume that's normal. 

I get asked to go out for a second date but majority of the time they ghost.

Posted
15 minutes ago, wanderingthoughts11 said:

I get asked to go out for a second date but majority of the time they ghost.

Oh i thought its almost always after a first date. 🤔

Ok well i guess first/second date...what i said still stands.

Do they ever tell you why? 

 

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Posted
2 minutes ago, peach302 said:

Oh i thought its almost always after a first date. 🤔

Ok well i guess first/second date...what i said still stands.

Do they ever tell you why? 

 

Majority of the time i get nothing- ala ghosting. The last guy message was let's go out next weekend and something along the lines of I was very pretty in a picture i sent. Then absolutely crickets. On a rare occasion I will be told that there would be no second date but I don't mind those because they communicated but nothing more in depth then that.

Posted

Is there any chance this really is about his PhD research project?  As I understand the time line, you met on line, you went on a date.  He backed off.  You sent out something trying to set something up for the weekend.  He responded & suggested the following weekend because of his research deadline.  If he really has gone radio silent to everything other than his job, would you be open to him when (if) he pops back up again? 

Every few years I get involved in these big projects.  Come crunch time, my focus is so intense I forget everything except what I'm doing.  I have trained my assistants to make sure I eat & supply me with food when I get like this.  (Of course I pay for the food but they literally have to order it, procure it & physically set it in front of me).  In a LTR I also ask my partner (now husband) to check on my food consumption & general well being during those intense periods.   So to that extent I can understand getting lost in one's work. 

If in your situation we are now past the weekend he suggested, then this really was a ghosting & you should give up on him.  

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Posted
20 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Is there any chance this really is about his PhD research project?  As I understand the time line, you met on line, you went on a date.  He backed off.  You sent out something trying to set something up for the weekend.  He responded & suggested the following weekend because of his research deadline.  If he really has gone radio silent to everything other than his job, would you be open to him when (if) he pops back up again? 

Every few years I get involved in these big projects.  Come crunch time, my focus is so intense I forget everything except what I'm doing.  I have trained my assistants to make sure I eat & supply me with food when I get like this.  (Of course I pay for the food but they literally have to order it, procure it & physically set it in front of me).  In a LTR I also ask my partner (now husband) to check on my food consumption & general well being during those intense periods.   So to that extent I can understand getting lost in one's work. 

If in your situation we are now past the weekend he suggested, then this really was a ghosting & you should give up on him.  

Yea, I do believe he does have a project he is mathematical program researcher for nearby area where work gets published. But like i said it is past the weekend so I am pretty much over it at this point.

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Posted
36 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Is there any chance this really is about his PhD research project?  As I understand the time line, you met on line, you went on a date.  He backed off.  You sent out something trying to set something up for the weekend.  He responded & suggested the following weekend because of his research deadline.  If he really has gone radio silent to everything other than his job, would you be open to him when (if) he pops back up again? 

Every few years I get involved in these big projects.  Come crunch time, my focus is so intense I forget everything except what I'm doing.  I have trained my assistants to make sure I eat & supply me with food when I get like this.  (Of course I pay for the food but they literally have to order it, procure it & physically set it in front of me).  In a LTR I also ask my partner (now husband) to check on my food consumption & general well being during those intense periods.   So to that extent I can understand getting lost in one's work. 

If in your situation we are now past the weekend he suggested, then this really was a ghosting & you should give up on him.  

I would probably consider a second date but he would have come up with something that landed him in like the hospital or something ha. we still matched too lol so odd.

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Posted
9 hours ago, wanderingthoughts11 said:

I would probably consider a second date but he would have come up with something that landed him in like the hospital or something ha. we still matched too lol so odd.

actually i take that back , I probably will just say yes and meet him again after these profiles i just read. GOODNESS yuck! Wish there was no pandemic so i could do meetup.com  or something again. 

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