sushiandtacos Posted April 30, 2021 Posted April 30, 2021 I think OP got excited about the potential of this guy after a period of bad dates. It's completely okay to be excited but there's a clear difference between excitement and investment. Investment, IMO, should be earned after a period of time getting to know someone. 2 dates with him is hardly breaking the surface of truly getting to know someone. Don't feel bad about feeling excited OP it's natural! Just a bummer he didn't turn out the guy you thought he would be or the way he described himself. As a side note, as someone else pointed out - maybe he was expecting you to give him a more empathetic response after he told you he had a bad day? I totally get the frustration that can lead to a harsh text, but we can't assume something about someone when we don't know what the other person has going on in their life. He could be using the few days to think of a response tbh. 1
Alpacalia Posted April 30, 2021 Posted April 30, 2021 On 4/29/2021 at 9:32 AM, notthatintome said: The thing is, I spent a year previously chasing a guy who could not commit and I was scared to death about this happening again and it felt easier pushing it away. Now I kind of regret it because there were so many positives. Then I tell myself if he liked me enough he would have responded, so maybe I did do the right thing. I think you're just frustrated (rightly so) from a previous bad experience, and it spilled onto this man. It happens. Perhaps you should delegate the initial pursuing to men from now on, and if you don't hear from him, just make other plans.
Author notthatintome Posted April 30, 2021 Author Posted April 30, 2021 1 hour ago, sushiandtacos said: I think OP got excited about the potential of this guy after a period of bad dates. It's completely okay to be excited but there's a clear difference between excitement and investment. Investment, IMO, should be earned after a period of time getting to know someone. 2 dates with him is hardly breaking the surface of truly getting to know someone. Don't feel bad about feeling excited OP it's natural! Just a bummer he didn't turn out the guy you thought he would be or the way he described himself. As a side note, as someone else pointed out - maybe he was expecting you to give him a more empathetic response after he told you he had a bad day? I totally get the frustration that can lead to a harsh text, but we can't assume something about someone when we don't know what the other person has going on in their life. He could be using the few days to think of a response tbh. Exactly, I felt it had potential but wasn't meant to be.
Author notthatintome Posted April 30, 2021 Author Posted April 30, 2021 1 hour ago, Alpaca said: I think you're just frustrated (rightly so) from a previous bad experience, and it spilled onto this man. It happens. Perhaps you should delegate the initial pursuing to men from now on, and if you don't hear from him, just make other plans. He did all the pursuing - the texts, calls, meet ups, everything. The only thing I asked was whether we were still meeting the next day, was this wrong? I then left it until he got in touch, sent my blunt message and that was that.
Alpacalia Posted April 30, 2021 Posted April 30, 2021 I'm not sure whether a follow-up was appropriate if you already had plans. But, if it would set your mind at ease, perhaps reaching out during the week would have been preferable: "I'm really looking forward to our date on xyz. Now I have a reason to try out this new dress I bought " 31 minutes ago, notthatintome said: He did all the pursuing - the texts, calls, meet ups, everything. The only thing I asked was whether we were still meeting the next day, was this wrong? I then left it until he got in touch, sent my blunt message and that was that.
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