Jrpam Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 Hello I've been dating a man who's been divorced for over a year. Seperated for 2. My relationship with him is the most difficult relationship I've ever been in... Although We have so much in common, he loves my family, I love his. We get a long great. We never fight or argue, if a problem ever arises in the relationship we always work together to resolve. He's good to me and my daughter in many ways. He is a hard working man and his personality is great and he has a big heart. Although all these things are present He still seems to lack affection and love towards me. He never really initiates intimacy. Sometimes I feel like we can't even have a conversation without having a couple beers first to relax. I know his divorce was hard on him and it might be long road to feeling that love and butterfly feelings for another person after being divorced, but how long do I wait?? I don't know if he'll ever be affectionate towards me? Does he need more time to grieve his divorce???
ShyViolet Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 I don't understand why you are still with this person. This is not a romantic relationship. If there's no intimacy, no affection, no chemistry, then you are just friends. This has nothing to do with his divorce. You just have no chemistry. Stop wasting your time in this relationship. 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 7 hours ago, Jrpam said: . My relationship with him is the most difficult relationship I've ever been in. He still seems to lack affection and love towards me. Sorry this is happening. His divorce should not be front and center in this relationship. He's building walls you are wasting your time trying to climb. Dating is supposed to be fun and about the two of you getting to know about each other. Maybe you're finally noticing why his wife got rid of him or maybe you're finally noticing why you need to get rid of him.
Blind-Sided Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 This my just be who he is. You can't assume he will ever be different, or needs to "heal" to show affection. 2
Gaeta Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 11 hours ago, Jrpam said: He still seems to lack affection and love towards me. He never really initiates intimacy. Why do you date him at all? Romantic relationships are all about connection, affection, intimicy, feeling loved and important to someone. 2
smackie9 Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 He's not going to turn a leaf and be affectionate....he's just not that kind of guy.. The lack of affection is just part of who he is. This would be a dealbreaker for you no? Sorry but, you can't force a person to be someone they are not, but you can end it and find someone who is more to your liking. 2
SaraSays Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 Assume this is as good as it gets. Assume neither of you will change significantly from this point in time. Reflect on which qualities matter day-to-day to you in a relationship, and how each can be shown in an everyday fashion. Are you each a good romantic fit for the other?
spiderowl Posted April 30, 2021 Posted April 30, 2021 On 4/29/2021 at 3:12 AM, Jrpam said: Hello I've been dating a man who's been divorced for over a year. Seperated for 2. My relationship with him is the most difficult relationship I've ever been in... Although We have so much in common, he loves my family, I love his. We get a long great. We never fight or argue, if a problem ever arises in the relationship we always work together to resolve. He's good to me and my daughter in many ways. He is a hard working man and his personality is great and he has a big heart. Although all these things are present He still seems to lack affection and love towards me. He never really initiates intimacy. Sometimes I feel like we can't even have a conversation without having a couple beers first to relax. I know his divorce was hard on him and it might be long road to feeling that love and butterfly feelings for another person after being divorced, but how long do I wait?? I don't know if he'll ever be affectionate towards me? Does he need more time to grieve his divorce??? Why are you in a romantic relationship with an unaffectionate guy? That's what a relationship should be and love, romance, affection and mutual support. It is just an acquaintanceship otherwise.
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