Dshellgigi Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Hello everyone, I hope you could spare time reading my problem and I hope you guys will give me some advice. So here it goes, me and my bf/fiancee is in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years now. We have been through a lot but in the end we still manage to patch things in a good way. We talked everyday, 2-3 times a day or let's say everyday, our relationship is doing good until one day he told me that he is not feeling well, not the usual feeling because this time he has fever and very weak. He is not the sick type but this time, he suddenly calls me and told me that he will be admitted in the hospital because there is a possible internal bleeding and the last words he said before we ended the conversation was he loves me. After that, I sent him text everyday, letting him know that I'm here, worried etc. No response at all no updates, so I understand. While I was waiting for his update he went online after 3 days and he just read my messages no respond, I tried calling him, sending emails unfortunately no response. The next day he went online but he did not read my messages on whatsapp, so is he ignoring me? I tried Sending another text but he turned off his data and ignore me again. Unfortunately, I am worried, clueless and waiting. This is the first time that we had no communication for many days. What do you think and what can you say towards my bf's behavior? Please enlighten me, I'm experiencing anxiety now.
Gaeta Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 You call him your BF/Fiancé so you must have phone numbers or names of his parents, sibblings, friends? Do you know what hospital he's at? Call the hospital, confirm he's there, ask for his room number and if he can talk. 3
Johnjohnson2017 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Does he live with his relatives near him? If so, try to contact them to see if they can give you an update on his status. Maybe call the hospital?
Author Dshellgigi Posted April 28, 2021 Author Posted April 28, 2021 The problem is he didn't introduce me to his friends at work, he is just telling me they know me. Only in one ocassion he did show me his friends. His parents died and it's only him and his sister. I don't have any contact from his other families. I tried contacting his sister but no respond. I don't have any contact number to the people that he knew of. Sometimes it's hard being in a long distance relatioship. I don't know which hospital because I tried my best to contact him and his sister but no respond.
Author Dshellgigi Posted April 28, 2021 Author Posted April 28, 2021 He currently lives in one of his friends house since he is visiting the family. I wanted to get to know his friends everytime we talk he always tells me that he wants privacy and I do not have any idea which hospital he is right now, or if he already check out.
Gaeta Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 How often do you visit each other? Does he come to you or you go to him? How far apart are you? It sounds like this man kept you as a secret which is not good news.
Author Dshellgigi Posted April 28, 2021 Author Posted April 28, 2021 Other side of the world.. I met him in his country and went home to my country and supposed to me him again but some situation didn't allow us until pandemic came, until now we haven't seen each other in person.. Yes, to be honest I felt that way, I did ask him but he always tells me he is truthful etc..
glows Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Be patient and slow things down. Let him reach out to you. If he's around family members constantly he may not want to talk to you and he may be sick, ill, bed-bound, post-surgery etc. There's the other possibility that he is just not interested or not able to continue a relationship in the state he's in. Give it at least two weeks and stay busy. Let us know how it goes. 1
Gaeta Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 I'm sorry but I think you are being played. If his sister knew of you she would contact you, return your calls or pick up, he would also ask his sister to contact you. 5
Gaeta Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 50 minutes ago, Dshellgigi said: We have been through a lot but in the end we still manage to patch things in a good way What were those problems?
Happy Lemming Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 41 minutes ago, Dshellgigi said: my bf/fiancee is in a long distance relationship for almost 3 years now. So is he your boyfriend or your fiancee?? Do he give you an engagement ring?? Have you set a date for the wedding?? 45 minutes ago, Dshellgigi said: While I was waiting for his update he went online after 3 days and he just read my messages no respond, I tried calling him, sending emails unfortunately no response. The next day he went online but he did not read my messages on whatsapp, so is he ignoring me? I tried Sending another text but he turned off his data and ignore me again. So your choices are... he is too weak to respond to your messages, he is in a coma and can't return your messages or he is ignoring you/ghosting you. Given the fact that he is a traditionally healthy individual, the internal bleeding story may be fake. I mean if you have the energy to go on-line, how hard is it to fire off a text, something like "Very sick, getting better, though". 1 1
lana-banana Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Can you confirm he's actually in a hospital, or is he just inventing an excuse to end the relationship? If this guy wanted to be in touch with you he would be. I think you need to assume the worst (and it's not that he's dead or dying). 2
Happy Lemming Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Just now, lana-banana said: If this guy wanted to be in touch with you he would be. I would think he could even ask a nurse to text/call you if he was physically unable to do that.
Wiseman2 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 29 minutes ago, Dshellgigi said: Other side of the world.. I met him in his country and went home to my country and supposed to me him again but How did you meet and how long were you together in person? Was it vacation or work or school? He's obviously ok if he's going online. Sadly this is a cowardly way to end things. He simply made and excuse then ghosted. Clearly he told his sister to ignore you as well. Sorry this happened. Unfortunately you know very little about him and he's not who you think he is.
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 I think something is off here. If you call yourself his fiancée, if you actually were important to him, there's way he'd ignore you or not respond to your messages when he has been checked into the hospital. He would need & rely on your emotional support. For your sake I hope I'm wrong but I think he's not nearly as serious about you as you are with him. Sorry. 1
Author Dshellgigi Posted April 28, 2021 Author Posted April 28, 2021 Yes he gave me a ring, I'm still wearing it. I met him through my friends who are a couple that owns a restaurant. My gut is telling that he is ignoring me because he doesn't want to be disturb regardless if he's still in the hospital or back home etc. and on the other hand, I am preparing myself for the worst. (I hope not) thank you for all your advices, helps me a lot to weigh the possibilities and it all makes sense. I'll update you guys after two weeks. 1
ShyViolet Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 The fact that you still see him going online and reading your messages, yet just not responding to you, suggests that this hospital thing is a made-up story. I think he was faking that as his way of getting out of the relationship. So you've been in a long-distance relationship with a man on the other side of the planet for 3 years and you haven't met nor have contact information for anyone else in his life? From what you said, it sounds like you only met in person at the beginning of the relationship? I'm sorry but this is not a real relationship; this is why it's not a good idea to get all wrapped up in these long-distance fantasies. Maybe this guy grew tired of investing so much time and emotional bandwidth on a daily basis with someone who is on the other side of the planet and who he can't even see in person. It makes no sense. 1
glows Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 4 minutes ago, Dshellgigi said: Yes he gave me a ring, I'm still wearing it. I met him through my friends who are a couple that owns a restaurant. My gut is telling that he is ignoring me because he doesn't want to be disturb regardless if he's still in the hospital or back home etc. and on the other hand, I am preparing myself for the worst. (I hope not) thank you for all your advices, helps me a lot to weigh the possibilities and it all makes sense. I'll update you guys after two weeks. Good for you. Put this out of your mind for now and get back in touch with family and friends. There is no sense getting overworked as he could be completely incapacitated. There's also a possibility he's rethinking the relationship so keep everything in perspective. What you do is you keep up with your own things going on in your life and don't get side tracked.
Calmandfocused Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Dshellgigi said: Other side of the world.. I met him in his country and went home to my country and supposed to me him again but some situation didn't allow us until pandemic came, until now we haven't seen each other in person.. Yes, to be honest I felt that way, I did ask him but he always tells me he is truthful etc.. Wait! Are you saying that apart from the first time you met, you have not physically seen each since? In 3 years??? You haven’t met any of his family/ friends, you don’t know his address, yet you’re engaged? WTF!! 4
smackie9 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 I hope in hell you haven't been sending him any money/financial support. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 45 minutes ago, Dshellgigi said: Yes he gave me a ring, I'm still wearing it. I met him through my friends who are a couple that owns a restaurant. My gut is telling that he is ignoring me because he doesn't want to be disturb regardless if he's still in the hospital or back home etc. and on the other hand, I am preparing myself for the worst. (I hope not) thank you for all your advices, helps me a lot to weigh the possibilities and it all makes sense. I'll update you guys after two weeks. I still call BS. If he's on line & you can see him, he's looking for entertainment. Hospitals are dull under the best of circumstances. With Covid limiting his options for visitors, he must be jonesing for communication. He should be all over you. The fact that he's not says he can't because his wife or GF is around. Since you do have mutual friends, have you reached out to them? Perhaps they can give you an update.
Gaeta Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 I don't even think he's in a hospital. I think he's visiting another woman and wanted to justify his absence to OP. Spontaneous internal bleeding sounds like in the same category of spontaneous human combustion. 3
Gaeta Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 28 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Perhaps they can give you an update. No, she doesn't know anyone. He told her his friends *know of her* that's all.
Happy Lemming Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 1 hour ago, Dshellgigi said: Yes he gave me a ring... Have you ever had the ring appraised by a jeweler?? Is it insured?? I'm thinking its a cubic zirconia or lab created stone.
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