Herkamer Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 So there’s this woman I had been trying to build up the courage to go out with for awhile. This past weekend, I finally went out and flat out asked her if she just wanted to go get coffee. Something simple, nothing over the top. Now, something strange happened. We didn’t go because she had something going on, but the way she answered it was off. I know what (normal) rejection feels like, but this didn’t feel like I did. First off, her body language practically looked like it was either saying ‘yes’ or she was surprised. She had that reaction as if she were trying to lean in. During that time, she stumbled in her answer, and instead of telling me ‘no’, she would come find me after this event were at if she was able to go. Again, she did tell me she was busy that day. A little background on what I know about her: she comes from a Christian home (as I have), and she’s also a Christian herself (like me). She seems very reserved (maybe a bit shy), quiet, well spoken, and, from what I’m told, very nice. She dated a guy almost a year ago, but nothing truly came out of it. They had fun for awhile, but as soon as beliefs came up, that ended it. The guy was an atheist and, by my guess, he probably lied to her in order to try and get her into bed. Never happened, of course, and since then, she has not been seeing anyone else ever since. I only met her through work while I was dating someone else at the time. My relationship with the other woman didn’t end because of this one I’m talking about (other things happened). I only met the Christian woman (maybe) 2-3 other times at work, but that was it, until I started going to a Sunday night church service and discovered she was the head pastor’s daughter. I try to talk to her whenever I can, and she seems very pleasant. So now, here I am, after asking her out, trying to figure out what I’m the world her reaction was. It’s been bothering me for awhile and I’d like to hear some opinions. More than likely, I’ll see her again at church, but trying to approach her might be a little more difficult. I’ll be myself and pretend as if the question never happened, but I figured if I gave her some space she may come around. I know I’m not a bad looking person at all. I dress good, wear contacts to bring out my eyes, I’m very much in good physical shape, and, based on what I heard about the last person she dated, I have about the same looks (if not better looking) than the last guy (I could be wrong). So I’m confident it’s not how I look. Maybe something from her past? I don’t know. Have at it.
glows Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 It sounds like a no if you haven't heard back from her after the event. Good for you for asking her out but I'd let this go because it doesn't sound like she's interested. A woman who's interested will just say yes. Avoid making up reasons that you can't confirm or fabricating extra stories about her as it won't help you and might do more damage in the long run especially since you have to see her often at your church. Keep it civil and pleasant. 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Anything but a "yes", is a "no". She didn't offer another time, so you need to step back. 2
Maldives Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Ye I would say it doesn't look like she's interested. However the balls in her court I wouldn't ask again and leave it for her to come to you. She could be undecided and thinking about it or she's not interested that's my take
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 Does she know that you & the other woman broke up? Do she have issues that require a chaperone on a date? Volunteer at the church. Join a group. Do something that puts you in her proximity so she has an opportunity to develop a bit more trust in you. Please note when you use the word "Christian" here I'm reading sheltered. 1
ShyViolet Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 If she didn't say "yes", then it's a no. You are reading too much into this. An answer of "I'm busy that day... I'll get back to you". That is clearly a "no." Don't ask her again, that would be too pushy.
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 I just read your other thread. I take it this is the same woman from February. How many pastor's daughters can there be in your life? As long as she remains a patient of the group where you are an optician you cannot ethically date her. Is there an age difference? All that stumbling may be that she did not know how to politely decline your invitation without upsetting you as a member of her father's flock.
smackie9 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 it's a negatory. Just play it kool, and leave it.
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