How much contact prior to first meeting?

[Filler]

On 5/7/2021 at 5:51 PM, dramafreezone said:

Empirical evidence so clearly and conclusively contradicts this idea. How much a man has to "impress" a woman simply depends on his viable options (and it's the same way for women).  Most highly desired men (entertainers, athletes, high level corporate executives) date multiple women at a much higher rate than average men.  The women that are dating them don't seem too turned off by it.  Additionally, they are HAPPY to be one of many women to date that high value guy rather than be devoted to one above average guy that will dote on her forever.

Women have no problem with entertainers and other high status men dating multiple women because they have a lot of money, so these women you speak of do not have the best interest of the man. They are not after him for his personality or heart but after his money and fame in most cases. If your average man with basic income does the same thing he gets an eye roll.

Also, by the right guy, or an ideal guy as you put it I meant someone who has the personality qualities a specific woman desires, for an example it could be: he has a good sense of humor and neat, hard working, for another woman it could be that he is very serious etc, but no matter what his personality is, him being unavailable will make zero impact on women. If a woman has no interest in him to begin with this will make him even more undesirable to her. If she is already into him then this will make her frustrated and unhappy. 

[SumGuy]

What you see on TV isn’t the whole story of the lives of these high status/high value men.  Finding sex is easy if that is all you are about, you don’t need money or fame if you can be real and have a clue.  
Focusing on what you imagine the world is like for those in a world you are not a part of is going to get you nowhere.  

[TrueGuy]

On 4/27/2021 at 7:14 PM, Redguitar35 said:

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OLD. I’ll try to schedule a first meeting as soon as possible — like either the next day or the day after. But women always seem to insist on like 5 days in future because they’re busy.

What we want to do is to exchange 3 or 4 messages back and forth then ask for a Starbucks coffee date. Just say: "Let's meet up at Starbucks for a coffee and see if we can make each other giggle in real life."

 

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We get the date scheduled and the I leave them alone. At the same time, they don’t reach out to me either. Then I follow up with them a day before to see if we’re still on. Of course they usually flake and cancel. 

Don't do a confirmation call before the date, just go and enjoy your coffee. If she shows, great, if not, well, you had a great Starbucks coffee, and you don't have to worry about that person ever again. 

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Is it because I don’t text enough in between scheduling the date and the date itself? How much texting do women expect prior to the first date? Am I supposed to be doing more to maintain their interest before the date happens??

No, you're doing ok, they just aren't really interested in you, or they got a better offer. Remember, women get massive amounts of offers through online dating sites so don't be discouraged. Also, you've got to be working 3 or 4 dating prospects at a time. Ideally, you want to schedule 2 or 3 of these coffee dates per day if you can. Keep them to about 40 to 45 minutes in length and move onto the next one. Also, you don't need to be looking for early sex with the girls you are dating, hold off on that stuff. Just date and have good times with these ladies and keep your hands to yourself and things will work out, eventually

 

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, TrueGuy said:

 

Perhaps just comment without all the multiquoting? Unfortunately your input seems buried in a quotes inside of more quotes.

[TrueGuy]

15 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Perhaps just comment without all the multiquoting? Unfortunately your input seems buried in a quotes inside of more quotes.

You're right. I'll try to make my posts more presentable. Thanks

[poppyfields]

On 5/5/2021 at 4:20 AM, introverted1 said:

Not true.

I talk to people - men AND women - all the time when I'm out. Learning to be able to strike up banter with a stranger is a useful skill.  Plus it's fun - makes waiting in line at the supermarket or DMV or wherever less tedious. And you get to talk to some interesting people, even if you don't want to date them (or they you).

Learn how to start conversations with people, not just women, and then when you see a woman you'd like to get to know, you'll have the skills to strike up a conversation with her.  As you talk, you'll get cues as to her interest.  Not all of them will be, of course, but that shouldn't matter because even if they are not interested or married or whatever, you'll have enjoyed a brief exchange while practicing your conversational skills.

 

This!  And I'm the same.  Key is to be spontaneous, don't make it appear like it's a "pick up" or you're "trying" to get her number.

Simple casual chat.

There is an art to this, best to learn it!  It will serve you well in all social  situations, not just meeting women and dating.

Get comfortable in your own skin, so the entire process becomes virtually effortless!

Speaking of effort @Redguitar35one of the laws of the Universe is "The Law of Least Effort."

I suggest you google it for understanding.

Imo your problem is (1) your attitude and (2) you're trying too hard to make something happen.  Which results in nothing happening!

Learn to LET GO.  Of the outcome, of everything.  Get comfortable with who you are and let life happen.

Below is a brief excerpt of the Law of Least Effort:

>>Today will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.<<

Lastly, I suggest you get off line. Step away from your comfort zone and practice simply talking to people in the real world.  

NOT with the intention of getting a number or making a date, but rather because it's fun chatting spontaneously in a casual public setting, learning about people. 

Even if they ignore you, there you just learned something about them!  Lol  And you can chuckle to yourself and carry on.

I met a super attractive man last night walking into the supermarket!  

He smiled at me, I smiled back.

He made a comment about an incident happening outside, and we started chatting right there!

I'm heading for law school in a couple of weeks and turns out he's a lawyer!  And visits New York a lot on business and gave me his card.

This man made a great first impression and I plan to call him...

No effort whatsoever...  not really. 

Jmo but that is how the best connections are made - spontaneously and with effortless ease.

Edited May 18, 2021 by poppyfields