ExpatInItaly Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 8 hours ago, Boredandpregnant said: I just assumed he was happy because he hadn’t said anything about a abortion,he seems very depressed and doesn’t sleep at all but he’s still never said nothing just carries on as normal apart from he acts distant sometimes Does this really sound like a man who is happy? I'm sorry, OP, but the writing is on the wall. He does not want this relationship, and it doesn't sound like he wants this baby, either. He probably does feel guilty breaking up with you when you're pregnant, but it's clear that this is not going to last. I would save yourself the heartache and separate now. Make a plan for co-parenting. Speak to a lawyer about your options, and his rights/obligations as the father. There's no point delaying the inevitable. 1
Acacia98 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 (edited) @Boredandpregnant, I notice you mention that, in retrospect, it seemed your boyfriend was already losing interest and wanted out before you learned that you were pregnant. So based on his reaction (the fact that he's still there and hasn't pressured you to get an abortion), I think he has traditional values about doing the "honorable" thing. I don't think he's going to initiate any conversation about breaking up, but he clearly feels trapped by the circumstances. So it looks like you're going to have find the courage to start the conversation about the way forward. I'm under the impression you have decided to keep the baby because you don't say otherwise in your posts (unless I've missed something). So talk to him about the kind of help you would be asking him for going forward, for instance, coparenting and child support. You dont have to mention the fact that you snooped. You can initiate the conversation by observing that he has withdrawn emotionally and telling him you sense that he may be feeling trapped. Edited April 28, 2021 by Acacia98 1
Wiseman2 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 9 hours ago, Boredandpregnant said: I had a strong feeling also around Christmas he was going to end things with me in all honesty but little did I know I was pregnant. Do you live together?
Allupinnit Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 (edited) [] If you want to keep your baby, then do it and start making a plan now. You are five months pregnant so termination is out of the question in most states. Unfortunately you need to take the emotion out of it and work on the logistics of custody, child support, etc. if he wants to be a part of the baby's life. This doesn't have to be all doom and gloom. He sounds like a reasonable person so hopefully you both can make the transition to parents as easy as possible, even if he isn't in love with you. Edited April 28, 2021 by a LoveShack.org Moderator response to removed content 2
spiderowl Posted April 29, 2021 Posted April 29, 2021 (edited) I'm so sorry, OP. You are dealing with an awful lot at once. I think for your own sake you need to speak to this guy and to end the relationship. You don't want him to be there just out of obligation. He does have responsibilities though and, like others have advised, you need to get proper legal advice on what these will be and how it is going to work. Do you have any other support around you? Family, friends, people you can rely on who will help you through this momentous time in your life? You will find a guy who adores you one day. Sadly, it is not this one. The baby will take up all your time and energy so do think through your options and talk with family and friends to see what support is around. Good luck xx Edited April 29, 2021 by spiderowl 2
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