VaFemmeFatale Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 *sigh* Always complicated. So, yes, I have been seeing someone new. Let's call them *S*. Both of us are fairly fresh out of a LTR. We've been spending a decent amount of time together - 3/4 times per week - and we've had a lot of those conversations that you have when you are trying to figure out what is going on in the other person's mind. Since we were both kid-free this weekend I spend the weekend at *S*'s apartment. We're all adults so Im sure you can figure out what happened. So, *S* spent a better part of the day yesterday asking me things like "What do you hope happens with me and you?""What do you want my intentions to be?""Im trying to figure this out - whats going on between me and you"...and I didnt really have any solid answers. I know that exclusivity SHOULD have been established before things went as far as they did, but it wasnt so...... Things that *S* says that imply exclusivity and/or a relationship is what they want: "You really shock me, Im not used to people being interested in ME and what I have to say" "I like you....(emphasis on the like)" "I used to never drive out to ****** but now look at me"(We live about 30 miles from each other) "I was really starting to feel down with life in general and then I met you" "My intentions are noble" **Sent me flowers that said "Thank You" and when I asked for what I was told - Just for being there and being you. Things that *S* says that lean more towards NO exclusivity: "I tend to jump from relationship to relationship" "I dont think I know how to be single" "What do YOU want?" *sigh* So, yes, I would like to be exclusive. But I dont know how to say it without coming off as......being an all or nothing, because if we werent in a bf/gf type relationship I would still like to see *S*....What are some good ways to determine the true intentions? Or the best way to say "Hey, Id like to be your gf....and for this to be an exclusive relationship, Id rather you not date anyone else while you are seeing me?"
elijahBailey Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 ok, uh, I not totally getting it..... so what is wrong with being direct with him and telling him where you like the relationship to go? Seems like the both of you have pride issues and is waiting for the other person to make the first move?
Someone secret Posted January 8, 2006 Posted January 8, 2006 Just some quick advice. I was also recently in a relationship with someone who told me all the same things. But as it turns out some people say exactly what they think you want to hear. So be careful because otherwise you will be left feel played and rethinking everything you said. Requesting an exclusive relationship is something that every woman deserves to be able to do without feeling any remorse about it. So demand it and stand up for yourself and all the real women out there. ~Someone who knows~
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