Author Alvi Posted April 28, 2021 Author Posted April 28, 2021 (edited) Update: I didn't go meet his parents after all. I told him that I think this is way too soon for me and that I would not be comfortable. I told him that I don't want to rush into anything and want to take things slowly and progress naturally. I hope he understands. If not, so this is it I guess. I am a very shy person and would not be comfortable meeting his friends so soon either. Anyway, we are going to go for a walk tomorrow evening. I am pretty sure his parents are lovely people but I do agree with the posters who told me that this is strange to meet them after only two dates. Maybe I should've taken a leap and ventured out of my comfort zone, but based on my past experiences a guy asking me to meet his parents at the early stages of a relationship meant that he wanted their approval. Edited April 28, 2021 by Alvi
Lotsgoingon Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 No, you do NOT want to leap outside your comfort zone in dating. No, stay right in that comfort zone. The only exception is when you're deliberately trying to break a dysfunctional pattern or habit and you're like working with a therapist to learn new behaviors. Then you might stretch. Otherwise, no. Stay in your comfort zone when dating. If you have to go outside your comfort zone, then you aren't compatible with the other person. And the other person doesn't get a chance to experience the real you.
Wiseman2 Posted April 28, 2021 Posted April 28, 2021 7 hours ago, Alvi said: we are going to go for a walk tomorrow evening. Ok, enjoy the walk and see how things go. Maybe he wanted approval, maybe he wanted a free meal. Who knows? But he took it well.
Author Alvi Posted May 7, 2021 Author Posted May 7, 2021 (edited) Update: So this guy and I met 7 times and we haven't kissed yet. We hold hands each time we meet but he hasn't made any further moves. It appears he likes me, at least I think so by looking at his body language and facial expressions. He texts and phones me regularly in between dates but that's about it. I wouldn't feel comfortable kissing him first myself. I don't know how to begin a conversation where I have to tell a guy that I want him to kiss me. In my previous relationship guys either just went for the kiss or asked me if I would like to kiss. I also found out that going to a guy's house to watch a movie, really means watching a movie. Nothing more. He invited me to his house twice to watch a movie and that is what we did. He put his hands around me both times and we just watched two of his DVDs. No cuddling, nothing. Why would he invite me to his place if he is not looking to escalate things? I am at loss. Should I continue this? I don't want to rush into anything, don't think I am ready to have sex but darn, he is just moving too slow. Well, actually not moving at all. Makes me wonder if he is interested in me. He seems like a nice polite guy but how can I be sure he likes me enough to date me if he is not showing it? Am I overreacting? I haven't dated anybody in a long while so I am not sure how things are supposed to go nowadays. Edited May 7, 2021 by Alvi
norealusername Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 How old are you both? 7 meetings and you haven't even kissed. That is very strange. I have no idea what is up with this guy but it's not typical at all. The meeting his parents was weird and he's not making any moves whatsoever, that's more weird. Even a shy guy would be making a move to kiss you by now. I don't know what to tell you. I would be trying to kiss a girl at least on the 2nd meeting, and I'm not very outgoing.
Author Alvi Posted May 7, 2021 Author Posted May 7, 2021 46 minutes ago, norealusername said: How old are you both? 7 meetings and you haven't even kissed. That is very strange. I have no idea what is up with this guy but it's not typical at all. The meeting his parents was weird and he's not making any moves whatsoever, that's more weird. Even a shy guy would be making a move to kiss you by now. I don't know what to tell you. I would be trying to kiss a girl at least on the 2nd meeting, and I'm not very outgoing. I am 43 and he is 44. Old enough, lol. Don't know his reasonings either. He doesn't strike me as too shy but what do I know. For all I know, he might not be over his ex or something. 1
mortensorchid Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 How old are you two? Does he live with his parents? Is this a cultural thing? Etc. It is rather odd if you are not youngish and still live with one or both parents. He might be a mama's boy. The love of my life was/is a mama's boy - he is now in his late 40s and lives with his mom like he did way back when. He wanted to be Peter Pan and never grow up and... he did just that.
norealusername Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 If you still like him, try talking about it. He's got some kind of issues though for sure. I can't imagine inviting a date back to my house to watch a movie and... just watching the movie. Definitely don't count on this guy, keep looking around.
Dis Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 He's either naive with dating or he's love bombing you...yes meeting the parents early can be a sign of love bombing. Happened to me. The guy I was dating asked me to me to meet his parents 2 weeks into dating. That along with the showering of attention, affection, tons of time together, too much communication and then a month later it was dead in the ground. Too much too soon. I would be worried about this one
Gaeta Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 13 hours ago, Alvi said: I am 43 and he is 44. At that age you should be a confident woman enough to ask him why he has not kissed you yet. I remember when I started dating again, the very first guy I started going out with didn't kiss me. When I asked him on our 3rd meeting why he had not kissed me yet he said he didn't like kissing . He explained he doens't know why, he never liked it, didn't kiss his exs, etc. I saved a lot of time by asking him.
Wiseman2 Posted May 7, 2021 Posted May 7, 2021 21 hours ago, Alvi said: we just watched two of his DVDs. No cuddling, nothing. Just a tin hat theory but here goes. Did he want to trot you out to the folks to prove he's "out there dating" or dating women?
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