Can someone give me an example between the difference of 'Basic Conversation' and 'Flirty Conversation'

[poppyfields]

If I ever do OLDing again (massive IF), I agree with Gaeta.

No protracted text messaging for days or weeks, if you're vibing in your initial message, just go meet for goodness sake, have a cappuccino.  It's 15 min out of your life.  

In person energy is what counts.  It's no different from meeting someone on the street spontaneously.  Like say, waiting for the train or on the train, on line at the market or anywhere.  

Casually, spontaneously.  Do you need to "get ready" for that? No, you're already ready.

With on line, jump in the shower, throw on your best jeans (low rise preferably lol), tee, sandals or cool pair of boots, some blush and lip gloss and out the door! 

For men skip the blush and lip gloss.

30 minutes tops, it's a coffee!  Not a night out at an elaborate restaurant.

 

Edited April 29, 2021 by poppyfields

[cleverusername]

55 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Because core values are something you demonstrate with actions, not something you list over a phone conversation.

My ex-bf told me he didn't beleive in casual sex, that he needed an emotional connection to be intimate. His actions showed he was a sex addict who had sex probably 100s of women during our relationship. 

Talk is cheap. 

 

22 minutes ago, poppyfields said:

If I ever do OLDing again (massive IF), I agree with Gaeta.

No protracted text messaging for days or weeks, if you're vibing in your initial message, just go meet for goodness sake, have a cappuccino.  It's 15 min out of your life.  

In person energy is what counts.  It's no different from meeting someone on the street spontaneously.  Like say, waiting for the train or on the train, on line at the market or anywhere.  

Casually, spontaneously.  Do you need to "get ready" for that? No, you're already ready.

With on line, jump in the shower, throw on your best jeans (low rise preferably lol), tee, sandals or cool pair of boots, some blush and lip gloss and out the door! 

For men skip the blush and lip gloss.

30 minutes tops, it's a coffee!  Not a night out at an elaborate restaurant.

 

Maybe for your demographic that might work but for the younger folk, that's not how they think. There is a HUGE lack of social skills and social competency between generations. I find older (relative to me) women are actually much better at picking up on and signaling cues rather than younger women. Much more direct as well, but that comes with maturity and life experience. 

[SaraSays]

It's also worth noting people will list extremely positive things about themselves as absolute on online dating profiles, which cannot be absolute in reality. Noone's patient all the time. Noone's an adventurer all the time. Noone's kind all the time. Noone's a good friend all the time. How often do people list their genuine character struggles, prejudices, annoying habits and so on? I don't recognise my friends from their profiles, when they show me them. It's all smoke and mirrors.

Another lovely flirting story. I go to libraries to do research often at the moment, and have come to see a man in 1 of the libraries whenever I go there. At some point each time, 1 of us is already there, and the other then arrives. We often sit near to each other, because of what we're each doing.

I've always felt warmth from him, and there were previous periods of held eye contact (I'm finding eye contact especially intense and seductive, when masks are hiding so much of the face), and I'd sometimes feel him looking at me, and would turn and our eyes would meet briefly. He strikes me as a gentle soul. We hadn't spoken til today. We were sat right next to each other, with a plexiglas partition between us, and there was occasional polite conversation, and lots of held eye contact. We stayed in that formation til the library closed, and then exchanged pleasantries before leaving. I find this all so charming.

[poppyfields]

48 minutes ago, cleverusername said:

 

Maybe for your demographic that might work but for the younger folk, that's not how they think. There is a HUGE lack of social skills and social competency between generations. I find older (relative to me) women are actually much better at picking up on and signaling cues rather than younger women. Much more direct as well, but that comes with maturity and life experience. 

Well I am not that old, lol but perhaps you're correct in a sense.  I think what it comes down to is being comfortable in one's own skin, perhaps that does come with age and experience.

I rather enjoy meeting people spontaneously, I prefer it actually.  I have done the protracted message exchanging and it gets old and you can burn out on it.  

Nothing to do with "values," strike while the iron is HOT is my motto (like when you're vibing in your initial message exchanges), meet in a public place with others around, whether for an espresso or drink at a nearby pub.

That said, whatever works for you (generic you) is all that matters at the end of the day.

I was just expressing what I personally will do if and when I ever do OLDing again.

Edited April 29, 2021 by poppyfields

[SaraSays]

There's a lot to be said for just chatting away to everybody and anybody, on streets, in cafes, in queues, waiting for a taxi, sheltering from the rain, the postman, the dustman - try to start light-hearted, uplifting conversations with anyone you come across, to get into the habit of having friendly chats with people so frequently, that it becomes second nature.

[TrueGuy]

Flirting is very simple as long as you respect these conversational parameters: 

Keep it Light, humorous, playful, positive, and upbeat. 

No heavy subjects, that means no: Race, religion, politics, sex talk, love talk, vulgarities, no doom and gloom topics, no insults or slights of any kind, AND KEEP YOU HANDS TO YOURSELF. 

Stay within these restrictions and you'll be one of the best flirters on the planet. 

The problem for guys is that they wrongly believe that flirting has to include a sexual element of some kind, it does not and it should not. Never, ever get sexual with ladies. Talk about sexual topics, issues, and humor with your male buddies, but never with women, it's creepy, gross, and at best immature. 

Good luck

Edited May 18, 2021 by TrueGuy