Mindbreaker4228 Posted April 21, 2021 Posted April 21, 2021 (edited) Hi all, my heart is pretty heavy right now and I am looking for some help. I recently started a relationship with a wonderful girl, who happens to have trauma from when she was younger. For the most part, she has overcome her trauma, but it comes back suddenly sometimes. Last night, she stayed over my house for the first time, and about 20 minutes after falling asleep, she had a starling, terrifying and extremely loud night terror. Screaming, thrashing, pinned me against the wall with her knee, everything. She has had this issue over the years, but it had been at least 6 months since her last one. I of course don’t blame her for this episode - it’s part of a trauma she cannot simply turn off - however, I am now afraid of how it will affect me. I did not get to sleep for the rest of that night, and I now fear that every time we sleep together I won’t be able to get to sleep because I will be constantly worried about another night terror. She has told me of several ways she has avoided them in the past, but it doesn’t really make too much of a difference for my anxiety on the issue. One thing I definitely think I need to do is start therapy myself - but in the mean time, I would like to hear from others who have dealt with similar issues. I really like this girl - we have so much in common, and she makes me so happy - but I fear that her trauma will negatively impact my life in ways I could not have foreseen. Edited April 21, 2021 by Mindbreaker4228 Added details
Mrin Posted April 21, 2021 Posted April 21, 2021 Well I don't have any experience dealing with night terrors but have dated women with trauma. Here's an idea for you to try on: rather than focusing on how to avoid them, focus on what you can do to help her when she does have them. That's actually a really cool opportunity for you to be there for her. And, imagine it from her perspective - rather than being ashamed of them and trying like Hell to avoid having them around you, imagine having someone who wants to help you when you do have them. Someone to be there for her. I don't know about you but I think having a person who wants to help me when I am having something like a night terror would be pretty amazing. Best of luck! Mrin
Wiseman2 Posted April 21, 2021 Posted April 21, 2021 I would refrain from having her sleep over and suggest she see a physician. She's assuming it's past trauma? She needs a workup from a neurologist and sleep disorder clinic.
Recommended Posts