Is it wrong to look for the 'total package'

[luiscasabuena]

Quick question if you don't want to read the history of my details. Here it is if you're interested:

Back in the day, I was most attracted to funny women and women with strong/feisty personality. This went on for a long time. However, I noticed that I don't become sensual or romantic with them. I felt odd. There was no physical attraction whatsoever.

So I changed my preference. Started dating beautiful women. Incidentally, I dated three beauty queens. Yes, we did a lot of sensual stuff. We did a lot of PDAs and people around naturally whistled when we did that. It's a great thing. It strengthens our sensual drive, chemistry, etc.

One of those beauty queens became my on-and-off girlfriend. But my parents disapprove of our relationship. The girl had a bad history, didn't have a nice family background, and she was not intelligent.

I didn't listen to my parents but I broke up with her because we fought a lot. I didn't know why I get irritated with her until I recently discovered the term "simp." She was one! And it was crazy! Yes, she's beautiful and hot as f*** but she has weird texting habits. We had an on-and-off thing for two years until we broke up. Even after breaking up, we still kinda dated.

That's kind of another story though. What I'm trying to say is that even though our break-up had nothing to do with intelligence, my parents' wish for me kind of permeated in me. And so, I'm now looking for a woman who has all three qualities.

Which is very, very hard, especially now with the pandemic. Masks cover women's faces and it's hard to know if a woman is aesthetically pleasing and attractive to me.

I recently courted a girl who has all three qualities. However, she lives 6 hours away (I only discovered her through FaceBook). She used to be very sweet to me. Unfortunately, she somehow changed. She rarely texts nowadays so I figured I must have done something wrong and she isn't interested anymore.

And so, that is how I found this site. I also watched several videos on how to talk to complete strangers. Last night was a tough night but I'm moving on.

Back to my question, is it wrong to look for the 'total package'?

Edited April 21, 2021 by luiscasabuena
better term

[Wiseman2]

Clearly for good chemistry you need to be attracted to the physical and the personality.

What makes you think it's an either/or situation?

[luiscasabuena]

^^Thanks, bro! I live in a country where that is kinda despised

[d0nnivain]

Looking for the total package is fine but be a little flexible in accordance with your cultural norms. You don't want to ostracize yourself from everyone chasing a fairy tale idea of perfection which might not exist.  

[Fletch Lives]

For starters, just look for a woman you would like to kiss. Things can grow from there.

[Lotsgoingon]

You don't need the total package. All you need is someone you really enjoy being with. 

[Trail Blazer]

It's wrong to look for the total package when all women look for it the package. 

I jest, of course...

A blanket response is that it's only wrong to deny what you want if you're going to be left unfulfilled.

Sure, some people are so fussy without taking a look at themselves that they're bordering on delusional.

As long as you're honest with yourself and you're not continually reaching, ergo setting yourself up for failure, then it's good to not settle for just anybody.

 

[luiscasabuena]

^^Thanks, man. Really appreciate it.

[dramafreezone]

On 4/20/2021 at 8:38 PM, luiscasabuena said:

Quick question if you don't want to read the history of my details. Here it is if you're interested:

Back in the day, I was most attracted to funny women and women with strong/feisty personality. This went on for a long time. However, I noticed that I don't become sensual or romantic with them. I felt odd. There was no physical attraction whatsoever.

So I changed my preference. Started dating beautiful women. Incidentally, I dated three beauty queens. Yes, we did a lot of sensual stuff. We did a lot of PDAs and people around naturally whistled when we did that. It's a great thing. It strengthens our sensual drive, chemistry, etc.

One of those beauty queens became my on-and-off girlfriend. But my parents disapprove of our relationship. The girl had a bad history, didn't have a nice family background, and she was not intelligent.

I didn't listen to my parents but I broke up with her because we fought a lot. I didn't know why I get irritated with her until I recently discovered the term "simp." She was one! And it was crazy! Yes, she's beautiful and hot as f*** but she has weird texting habits. We had an on-and-off thing for two years until we broke up. Even after breaking up, we still kinda dated.

That's kind of another story though. What I'm trying to say is that even though our break-up had nothing to do with intelligence, my parents' wish for me kind of permeated in me. And so, I'm now looking for a woman who has all three qualities.

Which is very, very hard, especially now with the pandemic. Masks cover women's faces and it's hard to know if a woman is aesthetically pleasing and attractive to me.

I recently courted a girl who has all three qualities. However, she lives 6 hours away (I only discovered her through FaceBook). She used to be very sweet to me. Unfortunately, she somehow changed. She rarely texts nowadays so I figured I must have done something wrong and she isn't interested anymore.

And so, that is how I found this site. I also watched several videos on how to talk to complete strangers. Last night was a tough night but I'm moving on.

Back to my question, is it wrong to look for the 'total package'?

You can look for whatever you want.  If you can get it, then what's wrong?

If you're not ever getting it, then you have to ask yourself if you're being realistic.  Everyone wants the total package, but by definition they're very scarce, so you have to be the total package yourself to even have a shot.  Even then you have to get lucky that you find one that's single because again, they're scarce.