WantingHim Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I've been married for two years we had our problems money, women, career choices. And it seems like everytime we are going good something happens or in his case some woman pops-up. the reason I know is becausse I check his voice messages and have often called these women back. I do this because I don't trust him no woman I have eveer called back knows that he is married which throws up a red flag that something isn't right. Well this last week has been like a ball of fire. 2 new women. He was suppose to sent me money to pay a storage bill before they sold all of our things and our childern memories and he didn't. He claimed to be upset because I called the females back and told them how I felt about them calling him so late. Anyway when he didn't take care of the storage bill like he was suppose too I called his job because he was give money to do this. If it wasn't for my mom using money she doesn't really have to spare everything would have been lost and i felt like I've been there alot for him and everytime yimes get a little hard for me he finds some reason to be upset and not speaking to me. I told him I wanted a divorce. A part of me does because you can only hurt some one so much the the rest of me really loves him. And i want to talk to him so bad I miss him. I can't sleep (as you can tell it's almost 3)but I find it hard to get out of bed. My 3 year old son climbs into my bed and tells me it's ok and he loves me all the time and as soon as he walks back out the door the waterfalls start again. I feel awful I havn't seen my husband in four months becausse of his job and now I'm afraid that when I final get to see him again I won't be able to touch him I miss my husband And I don't know what to do. Is there anyone who can help? Any advice on how to smooth things over? Is it even possible?
desolate Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I'm awake, too, WantingHim. ::hugs:: Has he cheated before, and this is why you feel distrustful of him?
Author WantingHim Posted October 17, 2005 Author Posted October 17, 2005 I can't say I walked in and saw him but I'm not a stupid woman either and we use to on the same base and there were alot of rumors. And a few females that would tell me they were sorry they didn't know my husband was married with out me saying anything to him and I've had two of his friends tell me that he wasn't ready for marriage and I was a good woman to him. So no I don't have any hardcore proof but I think after the first message he should have handle it better and there would have been a problem with distrust(we use to share a cell phone a friend of mine call and I thought she left a message for me that's how i heard the first one I wasn't looking for it)
desolate Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I hear you talking about what other people say (about rumors, etc) and I see you trying to piece together parts of a puzzle, but what I don't hear you saying is what he's said about any of it. Have you been able to have a frank conversation with him to discuss your concerns? WantingHim: I'm secretly thinking/wishing that anyone else would come along to give you advice. I am not worthy, but if I can help you think through anything, I'm more than willing to try... or at least keep you company for a bit. ~d
Author WantingHim Posted October 17, 2005 Author Posted October 17, 2005 Thank-you But what he has to say is nothing no time is ever a good time to talk about about it and he once told how could I belive some one over him but the truth is he's never said either way. He's never said any of them were lying ever. And I find it hard to believe your friend feels comfortable calling you baby and sweetheart and talking about how much they miss you and can't wait to be with you again and pretty mush leavng messages that I should only be allowed to leave
desolate Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I agree totally that him getting messages like that seems inappropriate. That must have really hurt. Still, what little I do know about relationships is: A 'relationship' is all about two people relating. What I hear you saying is that the 'discussions' are very one-sided and you're both unable to get resolution to issues. Perhaps if he cannot articulate, or you are unable to articulate or ask the right questions... maybe a counselor or therapist can act as a mediator. Or, would he even be okay with that idea? It sounds like there's much to be discussed and resolved, and you can't do it by yourself. It takes you both to meet each other halfway to have a relationship. ~d
Author WantingHim Posted October 18, 2005 Author Posted October 18, 2005 I don't really thimk we have a relationship I think to him it's just paper and that kind of makes it hurt worse:( and we have tried counseling on two different occasions he always stopped it
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