Yungstagurl Posted April 18, 2021 Posted April 18, 2021 This topic came up last night with me and my girls because I had a situation similar to this and wanted to get some opinions. So say you have a woman who is everything you wanted and prayed for and you believe she's the one. You're crazy about her first and you would enjoy your time with her and talking to her. However you're giving your all and you need more from her but for some reason she's not giving her all, or a few things you need, you know she has it but maybe she's scared or not ready yet. You've expressed how you feel and it doesn't change but you love her and you want it to work so you try to wait and give her a little push. You start to think maybe she's not ready for serious relationship as she says or maybe she doesn't have what you need or needs some time to grow. You even ask her what is her biggest issue or fear about moving forward or if there's someone else It's been 4 months she has moments where she's consistent but then it stops you're also not having sex yet which is starting to get to you. You're only focused on this one woman and you cut off any other woman for her but then someone from your past pops up who you had a connection with and is willing to give her all and everything to you. You're interested because you had a good connection and have history. The only reason you and her didn't work out is because she had some move across the country to take care of her mom. Since you're not in a committed relationship with the other one and she's not giving more and holding back for whatever reason you start talking to this woman from your past but you still really want everything from the first woman. Now you're starting to feel conflicted and torn you really still care about the first one and that's honestly your priority and choice but you have a woman here you also have a connection with who's willing to do what the other woman won't. You still really want to be with the first one but you're losing hope and disappointed and now your feelings are starting to change. So what do you do and who do you choose?
Gaeta Posted April 18, 2021 Posted April 18, 2021 Date the woman who wants to date you. Drop the first woman, she's a waste of your time. You can't stand by while people try to fugure themselves out. She is not into you and will never be if it didn't happen in 4 months. You'll forget about her soon enough. 1
FMW Posted April 18, 2021 Posted April 18, 2021 I agree with @Gaeta. Stop wasting your time on the first woman. Give the ex a chance, put your focus into her. Even if things don't work out in the long run, you won't have wasted your time standing on the sidelines waiting for the first one when it's unlikely she'll change her mind about you after 4 months. 1
d0nnivain Posted April 18, 2021 Posted April 18, 2021 You seem to be wanting force a square peg in a round hole. You say this woman is "everything" but you have only know her 4 months. You can't possibly know she's "everything." You barely know her. You have built up this relationship in your mind but then complain you are not getting enough & you want more. You have spoken about it but you are still not getting what you have asked for. Guess what? That means she & this relationship are not perfect for you. In order for it to be everything you want, she has to change & so far she is unwilling to change, nor is she obligated to. As for the woman from your past, that depends. Is she back locally? If so go for it. If she's still long distance I'm not sure you are strong enough or realistic enough to deal with that. But if everything between you was otherwise good until life interrupted, if those issues are resolved, there is no reason not to try again. 1
smackie9 Posted April 18, 2021 Posted April 18, 2021 (edited) The first one has totally friend zoned you. She's just leaving you breadcrumbs so she can have attention. A waste of time pining for someone that never reciprocates or fulfills your expectations...you are way too invested in your attachment to her. The other one, go for it. May not turn serious, but at least you will have the physical part you have been missing. Edited April 18, 2021 by smackie9
Wiseman2 Posted April 18, 2021 Posted April 18, 2021 3 hours ago, Yungstagurl said: Since you're not in a committed relationship with the other one and she's not giving more and holding back for whatever reason you start talking to this woman from your past but you still really want everything from the first woman. Neither. They both seem to complicated and uninterested. It would be best to get on some dating apps with a good profile and pics and start talking to and meeting local available men who are free and clear from on/off women, exes etc.
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