Question for any lady on here who has used Bumble

[Mrin]

The lady I'm dating had something like 3,000 likes when I met her. I'd like to think that my Greek god-like looks had something to do with catching her attention (rolls eyes stifles chuckle) but honestly it was right place right time. She showed me her app and her likes were full of great looking dudes. I just caught her at the right moment and she engaged. -+30 minutes and I would have been just another dude in her likes stack.

Sorry that's just how it is for attractive women. 

[Calmandfocused]

I’m a woman and personally I really like Bumble. Far superior to Tinder in my opinion. 
 

I like the fact that it’s me who instigates the convo rather than being bombarded with “hey how are you” messages. 
 

Personally I can only really talk to 3 guys as a maximum any one time. Any more is unmanageable in my opinion. Therefore if I’m not engaging with you after my first message it means that I’m busy with others. I may come back to you but most of the time guys get frustrated and unmatch me. 
 

Like others have said women tend to have a lot of options on these apps. It’s nothing personal if we’re not talking to you. Don’t take it to heart. Chances are we’re just busy. 

[Brooke02]

On 4/16/2021 at 2:44 PM, IntBrowser said:

Match seemed like a scammed.    I had to buy a membership in order to see what the women look like 

Match is a paid app its not free.  You can join but can’t see messages or people if your not a paid subscriber. Kinda weeds out the ones that are not serious because they have to pay.

[cleverusername]

Good looking dude here, and even I have a hard time getting responses. I think it has to do with the 24hr window vs other apps. 

[IntBrowser]

6 hours ago, Brooke02 said:

Match is a paid app its not free.  You can join but can’t see messages or people if your not a paid subscriber. Kinda weeds out the ones that are not serious because they have to pay.

I should be able to see what the person look like who viewed me

[basil67]

13 minutes ago, IntBrowser said:

I should be able to see what the person look like who viewed me

And you can see them if you pay.   If you want a free dating app, look elsewhere.  

[IntBrowser]

1 minute ago, basil67 said:

And you can see them if you pay.   If you want a free dating app, look elsewhere.  

That sounds like I am being sucked in, pay for a membership and the woman is unattractive.

[Mrin]

1 minute ago, IntBrowser said:

That sounds like I am being sucked in, pay for a membership and the woman is unattractive.

Don't use Match then

[Brooke02]

2 hours ago, IntBrowser said:

I should be able to see what the person look like who viewed me

You have to pay to use Match. What good would seeing them do you if you cant message them anyway? 

[max3732]

On 4/16/2021 at 10:51 PM, mortensorchid said:

I have used Bumble in the past and it's... Not good.  With your concerns it could be a lot of things (spam, lost interest, deleted account, etc.).  But that goes for other dating apps / websites.

Unfortunately in my case, and if you have followed my history here, I have encountered a lot of weak beta men.  Bumble, in my experience, is the weakest of them all because it's the women's choice.  If and when this happens, I expect that I will be making the plans and then I will go out, meet someone, spend an evening of awkwardness,  then walk away and never hear a word from the guy ever again.  Facts.

I'm on Bumble and had a couple great dates. Women have started sending random pictures, which I found out is an option for them if they don't know what to send. Either that or they say "hi" or send a clapping emoji or something like that. I try to get to a phone call and make plans when I can, but have had a lot of them disappear. Plus like the OP said a lot of times you get excited matching with someone and she doesn't message you.

There are also a lot of women on it on vacation who are looking for a tour guide or women who don't meet my criteria, but I have to swipe through since I don't pay for additional filters

[Trail Blazer]

6 hours ago, cleverusername said:

Good looking dude here, and even I have a hard time getting responses. I think it has to do with the 24hr window vs other apps. 

The 24-hour window certainly means that us guys will lose a lot of matches.  Having said that, I didn't notice a reduction in response on Bumble compared to Tinder. 

The ratio of the matches on Bumble which were left to expire was similar to the matches on Tinder which elicited zero response.  So,.in effect, they were just as useless.

Having said that, I found the quality of my matches on Bumble to be better than Tinder.  As such, I went on more dates from Bumble compared to Tinder, including meeting my girlfriend on Bumble.

[Trail Blazer]

2 hours ago, Brooke02 said:

You have to pay to use Match. What good would seeing them do you if you cant message them anyway? 

It might serve as an incentive to pay for a membership if the person is attractive?

[Commongoal123]

On 4/16/2021 at 3:20 PM, smackie9 said:

Might be fake, automated accounts to get you back to the site.

This.

[Dis]

I wasn't too impressed with Bumble. Wasn't the worst app either though and I'd probably use it again

 

I didn't like that the bios are kept very short and most didn't have a lot of meaning with very little information to figure someone out. Sending the first message isn't something I'm opposed to at all but it kind of got annoying after awhile. 

 

I had just as many matches as I did on any other site and it was a lot of pressure to sift through and keep on top of sending out the first message. With bumble if the woman doesn't get the ball rolling things nowhere and that got tedious. Now I know what dudes must feel like!  But for some reason I wasn't that interested in the guys on there, idk why so I stopped replying. Never went out on one date from bumble. I liked the guys from POF and Hinge more. 

[Fletch Lives]

That's an odd app - women don't initiate as much.

 

I understand that they are trying to cut down on messages though. I think Tinder just allows guys to message if there is mutual like. I think that's a better way to fry an egg.

 

Match - it used to be good years ago, but not so much anymore. And lots of fake profiles, a really scary site. Unfortunately, Match Group now owns half of the biggest dating sites.

[Miss Peach]

On 4/16/2021 at 3:13 PM, norealusername said:

Most of the messages from women are the same, lol.

It's funny you said this. I have heard my male friends sale the same. It probably because a woman is doing it more to show her interest to see if the guy pursues. But on the other end of that I understand how it's so boring to respond to messages like WYD or Hi. IME I see more men not put much in their profiles than women but both genders usually have a bunch of generic stuff which makes it hard to start a fund conversation.

On 4/16/2021 at 7:51 PM, mortensorchid said:

I have used Bumble in the past and it's... Not good.  With your concerns it could be a lot of things (spam, lost interest, deleted account, etc.).  But that goes for other dating apps / websites.

Unfortunately in my case, and if you have followed my history here, I have encountered a lot of weak beta men.  Bumble, in my experience, is the weakest of them all because it's the women's choice.  If and when this happens, I expect that I will be making the plans and then I will go out, meet someone, spend an evening of awkwardness,  then walk away and never hear a word from the guy ever again.  Facts.

I could totally see this but IRL I know a few very dominant men use Bumble.

 

 

OP - I agree with the other women. There is just too much going on with OLD messages and I just don't have the time to reply and filter through so many people. I know it's hard but it may not be anything personal. It might just be she doesn't have the time or is spending her allotted time talking to and sorting through others.

 

 

 

[dramafreezone]

On 4/16/2021 at 11:41 PM, Calmandfocused said:

I’m a woman and personally I really like Bumble. Far superior to Tinder in my opinion. 
 

I like the fact that it’s me who instigates the convo rather than being bombarded with “hey how are you” messages. 
 

Personally I can only really talk to 3 guys as a maximum any one time. Any more is unmanageable in my opinion. Therefore if I’m not engaging with you after my first message it means that I’m busy with others. I may come back to you but most of the time guys get frustrated and unmatch me. 
 

Like others have said women tend to have a lot of options on these apps. It’s nothing personal if we’re not talking to you. Don’t take it to heart. Chances are we’re just busy. 

Well that's a huge problem.  I think the average women has so many options with OLD that decision paralysis sets in.

Do all of these choices result in favorable outcomes?  You get 100 swipes a day on Tinder, there is unquestionably a few favorable matches amongst those 100 that would turn into a guy you could have a long-term relationship with.  People are going to object to that, but it's just the law of averages.  Every day most women are swiping left on good boyfriend material. 

If as part of an experience you were required to go out with 100 random guys that you didn't pick based on looks, you would end up liking *at least* one of them.  These apps are presenting one potential boyfriend A DAY.  But how many swipes does the average woman online go through before picking a date?  The sheer number of choices and how accessable it is really devalues the men.  We are hardwired to not appreciate what comes easy to us.

Edited April 19, 2021 by dramafreezone

[glows]

Speaking as a woman, these matches are mostly very low quality. Definitely no decision paralysis here.

[dramafreezone]

Just now, glows said:

Speaking as a woman, these matches are mostly very low quality. Definitely no decision paralysis here.

Based on what?

[BrianK]

15 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

Based on what?

Based on not being interested in them, I am a guy and have a few hundred "likes" on okcupid.  I once paid to see them and I wasn't into a single one of them, they're all your left swipes as far as I am concerned

[Trail Blazer]

15 hours ago, glows said:

Speaking as a woman, these matches are mostly very low quality. Definitely no decision paralysis here.

Why are you matching with people you deem low-quality on an app like Bumble?  Don't swipe right if they're not high enough quality to begin with.

[Trail Blazer]

15 hours ago, dramafreezone said:

Well that's a huge problem.  I think the average women has so many options with OLD that decision paralysis sets in.

Do all of these choices result in favorable outcomes?  You get 100 swipes a day on Tinder, there is unquestionably a few favorable matches amongst those 100 that would turn into a guy you could have a long-term relationship with.  People are going to object to that, but it's just the law of averages.  Every day most women are swiping left on good boyfriend material. 

If as part of an experience you were required to go out with 100 random guys that you didn't pick based on looks, you would end up liking *at least* one of them.  These apps are presenting one potential boyfriend A DAY.  But how many swipes does the average woman online go through before picking a date?  The sheer number of choices and how accessable it is really devalues the men.  We are hardwired to not appreciate what comes easy to us.

I've often wondered if women right-swipe far more than they need to in order to find a sufficient date simply because knowing how many matches they'll receive, they enjoy the ego boost that comes with it.