Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) I put off dating for a year during the pandemic, thinking "I'll wait for the vaccine." Now that I am vaxxed, I'm finding things are harder than I expected. I keep getting cancelled on, or getting no interest when I put myself out there, running through apps with little or no matches. Nothing's working. Then I open up my social media and it's happy couples flaunting their relationships and rubbing it in my face. These folks had it so easy. Not how I expected to end up, about to turn 35 and no prospects and no hope for anything on the romantic front. Guess some people are winners and some are losers in this game. I give up! Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
Gaeta Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 You thought you'd find someone on that first week online? We told you a thousand time, it takes time and you havecto drop the fatalist attitude you have. 3 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 35 minutes ago, Gaeta said: You thought you'd find someone on that first week online? We told you a thousand time, it takes time and you havecto drop the fatalist attitude you have. It sucks right now! No one wants to meet up or spend time together. Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 And they all use the same excuse when they cancel as well. "I'm sorry, my shift changed." Yeah, right! My hours haven't changed in 11 years.
basil67 Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 22 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: And they all use the same excuse when they cancel as well. "I'm sorry, my shift changed." Yeah, right! My hours haven't changed in 11 years. The fact that you work regular hours doesn't mean that it's the same for all. Date anyone who works in a service industry, health care or is on call and you'll find changing shift hours.
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 9 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: Are bars/pubs back open in your area?? They never closed in my state, but I don't really like those places.
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: The fact that you work regular hours doesn't mean that it's the same for all. Date anyone who works in a service industry, health care or is on call and you'll find changing shift hours. After you hear it from the first person, it seems reasonable. After 3 or 4 people in a row, it's obviously just a card people draw. Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 3 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: ...but I don't really like those places. (1) Do you want to increase your odds of meeting a woman or do you want to stay in your comfort zone and continue to get rejected on dating apps?? (2) Do you have the ability to "chit-chat" with a woman in a public venue??
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 9 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: (1) Do you want to increase your odds of meeting a woman or do you want to stay in your comfort zone and continue to get rejected on dating apps?? I don't like bars. They are noisy, and people are usually in groups. That's no help for someone like me who is a loner and doesn't know anybody around here. Quote (2) Do you have the ability to "chit-chat" with a woman in a public venue?? Nope. Especially when everyone's got their face covered under a surgical mask. Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
basil67 Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 8 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: After you hear it from the first person, it seems reasonable. After 3 or 4 people in a row, it's obviously just a card people draw. Knowing what kind of work they do would help you decipher fact from fiction
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: Knowing what kind of work they do would help you decipher fact from fiction It literally doesn't matter. If they were really interested, they would've proposed an alternative time, which none of them did. It's hopeless out there. If you are 35 and up like me there is no chance of success in dating. Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 3 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: That's no help for someone like me who is a loner and doesn't know anybody around here. I was a nomadic loner all of my youth... never stopped me from going into a bar/pub and picking up a woman. 4 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: Nope. Would you like to learn/try??
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 6 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: If you are 35 and up like me there is no chance of success in dating. I've been successfully dating for almost 40 years. I was 47 when I met my current girlfriend in an apartment complex pool, swam up to her, introduced myself, chit-chatted a bit, then asked her out for drinks that night. 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I've been successfully dating for almost 40 years. I was 47 when I met my current girlfriend in an apartment complex pool, swam up to her, introduced myself, chit-chatted a bit, then asked her out for drinks that night. Back before everyone had to wear surgical masks on their masks on their faces all the time. Those days are long gone and they ain't coming back. Your generation had it easy. Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
dramafreezone Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 2 hours ago, Redguitar35 said: I put off dating for a year during the pandemic, thinking "I'll wait for the vaccine." Now that I am vaxxed, I'm finding things are harder than I expected. I keep getting cancelled on, or getting no interest when I put myself out there, running through apps with little or no matches. Nothing's working. Then I open up my social media and it's happy couples flaunting their relationships and rubbing it in my face. These folks had it so easy. Not how I expected to end up, about to turn 35 and no prospects and no hope for anything on the romantic front. Guess some people are winners and some are losers in this game. I give up! First of all, most of those happy couples on FB will be broken up/divorced in a year. What do you think women want in a man? I asked a woman this in another thread, and now I'm flipping it. Do you know what women want? If you do, it's juat a matter of know what you can and can't deliver, then putting yourself in proximity to those women. I'll tell you what the vast majority go for; confidence, competitiveness, ambition, aggressiveness, wealth. You have any two of those you're in good shape. Invariably, this comes down to undersanding your strength and weakneses, and becoming the very best version of yourself. But you need to get out of the mindset that women should just value what you have to offer. You and I don't get to decide what they value. The results would suggest that you're not putting in the effort, or your effort is misplaced. Stop being a nice guy. Instead, improve yourself and make yourself viable to more women. Don't wish for it to be easier, be better. Edited April 15, 2021 by dramafreezone
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 Just now, Redguitar35 said: Back before everyone had to wear surgical masks on their masks on their faces all the time. Those days are long gone and they ain't coming back. No mask requirement in my state, you can go into a bar/pub, have a drink and talk to whomever you want to... Is there a mask requirement in your state??
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 5 minutes ago, dramafreezone said: First of all, most of those happy couples on FB will be broken up/divorced in a year. What do you think women want in a man? I asked a woman this in another thread, and now I'm flipping it. Do you know what women want? They want to cancel dates with redguitar35 and laugh about it over a bowl of weed with their girlfriends. That's what they want.
dramafreezone Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 9 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I've been successfully dating for almost 40 years. I was 47 when I met my current girlfriend in an apartment complex pool, swam up to her, introduced myself, chit-chatted a bit, then asked her out for drinks that night. Turned 41 this past year and I feel I'm just entering my prime. I didn't really figure things out until 2 years ago. OP you have plenty of time if you stop feeling sorry for yourself and get to work. 1
mortensorchid Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 I am in the same boat. Nobody wants me either or they don't care enough to follow through. 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 2 minutes ago, mortensorchid said: I am in the same boat. Nobody wants me either or they don't care enough to follow through. I'm sure there are females who are facing the same thing. Nobody gives a damn about us. All we get is disinterest. If we didn't find someone at a younger age before the pandemic we're just totally out of luck. I hate this country and hate the dating scene. Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 2 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: ...we're just totally out of luck. You make your own luck. You set a goal and work towards it. If being social is difficult, then take "baby steps" to improve your socialization skills. Complaining about it, doesn't fix it. I'll ask again... do you want to learn how to approach a woman in a social situation/public venue?? 1
Author Redguitar35 Posted April 15, 2021 Author Posted April 15, 2021 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: You make your own luck. You set a goal and work towards it. If being social is difficult, then take "baby steps" to improve your socialization skills. Complaining about it, doesn't fix it. I'll ask again... do you want to learn how to approach a woman in a social situation/public venue?? Women don't like to be approached by some stranger in public. I have heard it all before. It's hopeless. DATING IS HOPELESS. I was in one relationship that lasted six months about three years ago, and then got dumped very abruptly, two weeks before Christmas. Then a few months ago I find out she's engaged to the man of her dreams and she blogs about how it was love at first sight. After I put a crap load of effort into that relationship. And now when I try to move on I get no success whatsoever. I'm just not meant to find a good relationship. Nothing I can do about that. Edited April 15, 2021 by Redguitar35
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 57 minutes ago, Redguitar35 said: Women don't like to be approached by some stranger in public. That hasn't been my experience. I've dated A LOT of women and met ALL of them in public venues. All kinds of places, you just need to know how to chit-chat with other human beings. Yes... I've been rejected, more times than I care to remember, but I just kept trying. But if you want to make excuses vs. progress, then so be it. If you want things to change, you have to make them change. Do nothing and nothing will change.
Happy Lemming Posted April 15, 2021 Posted April 15, 2021 1 hour ago, Redguitar35 said: ...and then got dumped very abruptly, two weeks before Christmas. The minute I get dumped, I go right back out there and try to find the next one. I remember getting dumped by one woman on a Friday night at about 6:00pm, by midnight I was sleeping with her replacement. I went down to my local pub, ordered up a Guinness and struck up a conversation with the woman next to me. Why would you wait 3 years to get back out there... I didn't wait 3 minutes after getting dumped.
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