The Perfect Girl Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I don't even know where to begin. we used to b so happy. To make a long story short i have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years. since april 20th 2002, and i just turned 20 last week. To give you an idea of what is going on it might be helpful to read what he has writen. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=389732#post389732 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=300968#post300968 My fionce loves me yet for while he changed and stopped being loving. I been soo hurt and upset i didnt know how to handle this. to me he is a compulsive liar and even tho he may not have cheated on me fisicaly he did so emotionaly witch to me hurts even more. He has a problem that he falls in and out of love very easily and like a crush ...and hes taken actions on it to. He always tells me im rong and that the grl is lying and gets even more upset wen i catch him..but i am human and i dnt like things like that behind my back he also says so many hurtful things like that i will never leave him ever..he honestly treats me like shi**T ...i was with him still having hope we cud b what we once were ...the pefect couple ...im such a loving and understanding girlfriend but he has been with me since so young that i guess he needs to explore the werld. The only risk with that is probily he will go out there and find some1 if he does good for him bc i will never take him back..i dnt belive in having to go out to the werld to apreciate wut you have at home ,....he lost me completly and now i feel single i guess not as hurt as i thought i am very sad bc i dnt no wut im feeling..i dnt love him naymore or in love with him..but i feel hurt becase of everythign he did ..i dnt even really want him as a friend i feel i lost my other half. not for the love but i felt like he was sum1 i can count on unconditionaly be there for me with out expecting anything back, upseting me the most is that loss of uncondtional ...and the fact that now that we are over i even tho i may still love him (witch i dnt no bc i am so confused of my feelings ) i will never look back..or take him back...he chose to hurt me and not b with me..and even tho he has this crushes problem he still chose that life instead of werkin out our relstionships. how upseting for my birthday he gave me a card and ill never forgive him cuz to other poeple he met 3 months ago he wanted to surpirse them with cars and with me it was only a card dat he didnt even righ a note with and not that material things is important to me but he cuda wiped sumthing up home made the point is he didnt even put 1 minute of dedication...yet he says he loves me... well lets get to the point of y we bork up. i had a funny feeling about him liking a 12 year old grl who rents a room in my house ..she started influencing him and he started changing like he used to b ghetto and now he is a wanna b punk goth guy ....and she is like that ...i found out she calls him and wen i asked her about it ..she told me she loved him and he seduced her and they were in love and that he ven kissed her all this in front of her mom and her mom said she was upset and dat she was takin her far away ..how cud he do this bc i trusted him in my house even wen i wasnt there.. i feel like i have been betreyed and offcourse shes 12 with a womans body ...i was the same way at that age he is supposedly so in love with her they speak almsot every night and teext eachother refering to me as G how upseting dub fucin hore she said she was like my sister wut ever i feel like killing the dumb bitch but it takes to 2 tango ...he says he didnt didnt do it yet if u read the other forums..(whree he calls himself micheal) he liked my bestfriend and he denyed that til the end ..yet he cam on here to post his problem i found out with out him noing he posted here ....after i found out that about my best friend..i never trusted him again..i felt like anythign hesaid was a lie and ever sinz then i didnt belive him..and i dnt belive him now ...yet i no he wudnt be the type to do statetory rap bc she is 12 and he is 20..but i just m so confused i dnt no wut to belive...and for that i broke up with him and like i warned him not to confuse my love for weekeness bc i would always insist on werkin out bc i nu were were ment for eachother....now it is to late and evern if i loved him with all my heart i wud never b with him again...i wudnt even care if he was the richest man in the werld...i dnt no if i cud ever trust him and i dnt no wut to think about him and this 12 year old...how could this hapen to me...i feel like **** right now...had any1 ever gon trhu sumthing like this and would like to talk with me....wut kills me the most is beign scare i will never find any1 as compatible who i cud laf with cry with and b mmyself ...ive tried for the past few months (not cheated) but ive tried looking else were cuz a lot of guys sho interest in my and i dnt seem to find that specail spark we had ...now that its been about 12 hours of being single already i have all my guy friends tellin me they want a chance yet i cnt even get my thougths straight ... guys willing to do all the things i wasnted him to do notes roses ..being romantic..and a few even wanteign to get seriouse with me and one or to prosposing marrage...yet none of that rellie interest me from any1 else..not even from him...i feel no1 in this werld understands me and is going to call me the names he called me and laff about the things he laffed about with me ...its a feeling if a knife going thru my heart over and over and over...i need advice ..haev i dont the right thing m i gonna even b ok ..i m so scared to never find tru love because im a hopeless romantic...i just feel like i wanna b back in april 2002 walkin in washinton hirghts and i wanna take a diffrent turn not on 175th but just kept walkin on ...and mayb none of this would b happening to me... BREAKING UP IS HARD TO DEAL WITH and it hurts like a mutha...please give me answers and how do i deal with all this emotion...now my sex life is gonna suck...how upseting ah i cnt even sleep ....................HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
J dub Posted October 17, 2005 Posted October 17, 2005 I am so sorry you are hurting, and I know how you are feeling. Please keep in mind that this break up is a blessing in disguise, because you are going to be so much happier without this loser in your life. He chose to be with someone whos not only illegal to be with, but makes him appear to be a pedophile for the age in which he chose. Failing relationships arent your fault, you simply have to realize that some people arent meant to be together. You sound like you used to have a great relationship but it went sour somewhere. You were trying to hold on because you knew the potential the relationship had, you just didnt know how to get him to be himself again, am I right? He changed, became someone you are not in love with anymore. Seriously, this guy is going to be kicking himself royally when he realizes what he has done. Finally, you mention your sex life is going to suck...which is not true. AS LONG as you properly allow yourself healing time before getting intimate with someone else, you wont carry baggage from this relationship into that one and hence your sex life will not suffer. However, jumping in to the sack too soon with someone before you adequately work on yourself WILL do damage to your emotions/ego/trust/outcome. You can always come here to vent
Author The Perfect Girl Posted October 17, 2005 Author Posted October 17, 2005 thanx for the support it makes me like im not going crazy....now that i think of it..i really dnt belive him at all, i was never givine my proper place after wut happend wen he tried getting with my best friend. he has no respect for me or my house i trusted him gave him a key to my house for his disposal and let him b there even when i wasnt..dats y he took advantage she was there he was there i wasnt ..how cud i be so stupid to think he wudnt do anything ...i feel like such a fool and im so hurt by the WAY this ended...i hate the grl and i hate him even more they can both deserve eachother ...i need to go out and have fun to take my mind of all this but its just so hard and i feel like i have a huge wound on my chest...im thinkin about getting a tatoo of a scare to ease my pain....he still talks to me but it means nothing i dnt even want to b near the guy he is the biggest liar i have ever met even lies about the smalest things ..i think its a problem he has..i feel like such a fool wen will this stop...i just wanna talk to people who hve gone thru this so i cud feel a little hope that mayb one day ill find true love as much as i ahte to admit it we were so compatible we were like twinz felt the same things at the same time ..and i feel hopeless finding sum1 i cud be twinz with ...if der is any1 out there its hard to have everything perfect in all one package my heart is so dark right now and i feel like i dnt have no1 in this werld..(family duznt count cuz der a difrent kind of love) in my house and room everythign here from the bed to the furnishingh the tv and everything is bought togother i wanna burn everything !!!! it hurst to looks at thigns
Ruff Ryder Posted October 19, 2005 Posted October 19, 2005 Hi Perfect girl. I know the feeling. I was engaged to a girl for a year and had been together with her for about 4 years. Same type of story. She wanted to go out have fun and all that but she lied everytime about were she was and what she was doing and who she was doing it with. To cut along story short she was cheating on me with some wired dude. I found this out and forgave her and we went on with our lives got engaged bought a house bla bla bla. Then about 2 months ago she startd again the lying going out every night bla bla bla. So we split up. There is no way in hell that im going threw all that again. Dont get me wrong i have no problem with her going out but i do have a problem if it is to cheat and you lie about where you go and who your with. I still live in the same house with al the same memories and all the same pain but at the end of the day you either take the pain and move on or get consumed by it (that is if you linger on the past and dont move on) SEX shouldnt be a big thing in yopur life right now, concentrate on going out and having fun just be yourself and men will be attracted to you. Dont be to quick to get involved again make sure you work the ex out of your system. About all the stuff that brings back memories that is all they are MEMORIES dont let them controll you dont even give them a second thought this is hard at first but the second your mind can get over it all will be fine. I hope this helps in just letting you know that you are not alone in this. Have a good one.... Kind regards Ruff
Author The Perfect Girl Posted October 21, 2005 Author Posted October 21, 2005 ..wow dats so sad dat ur grlfriend would do that..people like them are just well they just dnt have consideration for other peoples feelings.......you guys r right...they are just memories and memories that hurt tho.....i hope you find sum1 way better and come here to tell me about it ..i will b so happy to know there is hoe out there to find sum1 else....i just spoke to my ex and he confirmed it was true about the kiss and everything i completly fell apart ..he lied to me so much in the beinging deying it like if the grl who did i mention just turned 12 a year ago she was 10......lieing hurts me so much i feel like life is over....it hurts cuz i want him in my life i want us to b together but i cant forgive such atrosity ...he will speak to my parens about his to apologize own up to his mistakes so that mayb i will allow him to sort of in a distand way b in my life bc he still says he loves me and wants to b involed..he even said he wants to get a tatoo of me im just so confused...i just no i cnt forgive cheateding and how the matter took place...i havent cleand my room full of his things clothes and our romantic stuff i cant touch anything i burst in to tears. i just want to feel ok again...da only thing dat keeps me going is you guys tellin me im not alone and dat other people actualy go thru this because i thoguth i was the only 1 ......how cud this happen to me i thoguth it cud never hapen to me.....i look back and the man i fell in love with (the most hurtful thing in my heart) is he only exsist in my memories..and i just want to b with him in his arms but now i only had him in 1 or 2 web cam videos a fw nnotes and 5 or 6 pictures from 2002....i wud give my life to have him in my life but i no thats imposible bc he duznt exsist...i m goin, i feel like having fun but i dnt think ill b ready to date or have anything with any1 for a very long time...its so true what you said j dub ....he changed and became sum1 im not in love with and der was just SOO MUCH POTENCIAL in him and me to b real big together as a married couple as biznes partnes as friends and as a family that it was so hard to let go noing how great this cud become. i felt like he was a glove and i was the hand he was taliored to my ..my size he fit perfectly...i havent stoped crying ......how cud he throw all this out for a kiss his career his life now he cnt become a cop ...me and everythign he had for a kiss i will never understand it....every1 dat knows us is DEVISTATED to hear we broke up they might b more in shock tan i am that how great we were together....i need to get sum sleep or i wont b able to go to werk tommorow bc of the sadness....i feel paralized this is afeting me so much....my feelings r so confused...hes a LIEING CHEATED BASTED AND SHES A HOE I HATE THEM BOTH THEY CUD ROT IN HELL FOR ALL I CARE!!!(thats the pain talkin) gnite guys thanx for the support
Ruff Ryder Posted October 22, 2005 Posted October 22, 2005 Whats up? Listen a few things you might want to take into condesidration. I know how much you hurting i know the pain in fact the pain is all i had left for a long time it drove me insane long lonly night the continus thought of where they are who they with is enought to kill you ive been there its not fun at all..... I was down and out didnt know what to do or where to go who to turn to it felt like i had nothing in life nothing worht living, It really louded my judjment however one of my favriout groups of all time is boys to men and i was in my car listing to there music on one of their cd's (the music is sad and deppressing more so for people like us in our situwations) To get to the chase there is a song track 4 on the cd that elightend me. The words went "In this world today Love is scarce and far away And your heart gets so afraid To trust someone All the times he let you down There was no love to be found Well it's not the end There'll be time to mend And you'll know love again Chorus: Never Never let a broken heart Take a chance for love away Don't never let it make youFall apart Never Never ever let the pain Take your need for love away Never, no never 2nd Verse: And i know it seems hard Open up let down your guards But you owe it to your heart To try again Oh comes the time When we must change With the past Don't take the blameDon't be ashamed Throw your fears away Chorus Bridge: I know don't be afraid For you will never find Another one you love again Because forever is to long For you to live in pain Just don't giva up Please open up to love" And that hit me like a punch from mike tyson and hey i know its hard to forget and to keep on going but there IS AND WILL BE life after love the bottom line is never give up or in TIME will heal the hurts and make it better. Life is yours to live so live it never look back and regret a second never say what if "what if it was diffrent, what if i tryed harder, what if i said i love you" Its not worht it. Life is not about how you fall but more about how you get back up. So keep your head high and enjoy what you have. Have a good one RUFF RYDER
Author The Perfect Girl Posted October 23, 2005 Author Posted October 23, 2005 thank..comming here to talk about my feelings knowing there is people put there that care and hear me out makes me feel so much better.......thats a beautifull song..wuts the tittle so i can donwload it....the whole time i didnt cry ..the other day sumthing happend with my car and my parents r awawy for vacation 2 weeks and wen i realized he wud b there wen no1 else to help me..its hit me like a cold buket of water i and dats wen i started to cry over the car insurance....and it hink everything in genral it was soo hard i feel like i ned to b held..long lonely nights and to look in my computer at these songs he recetly had downloaded i realize they are all about her and them,...like this song by the click 5..jsut the grl im looking for....and this spanish song called mi ñiña from the toros band...is about how he is way older and he try to get at her and she dnt pay atention ...it hurts me..every song i turn on the raidio seems to b about cheating and breaking up....its hurs me so much..he told me he was going to beg me for me to take him back dat he made a big mistake he was rong and dat he realize how much he adore me now dat he lost me....and that complicates things so much more bc i still have feeling .....im still suffering and each daty that passes i dnt feel better...i took my engagement ring off and my chains with his name on it ...i rearanged EVERything in my whole room looks totaly difrent and it only took me a week to b able to actualy touch the stuff....i dno with this box i have with all our things...i even had this scrap book full of detail of the past alm,ost 4 years...
Ruff Ryder Posted October 23, 2005 Posted October 23, 2005 Shame girl i know how it feels. The song is calles Never by boys 2 men. Just keep a clear mind and just know that life goes on and gets better. Keep your chin held high and never give up or in ok?
Recommended Posts