Does he like me more than a friend?

[Loulou0086]

So I am in a place at the moment where I don't know where I stand, like the title says, I dont know if my friend likes me just as a friend or something more. I'm 34, he is 33, and he is my boss. I've known him now for 9 months since I started there. He's a great guy, very friendly and open with everyone, we all get along really well and have a laugh. Except I've noticed that he's acted differently around me, more guarded, more polite if that makes sense. I'm a quiet natured person anyway whereas everyone else I work with are out there, so I thought itvwas because he didn't really know me. As times gone on, we've become more close and have got to know each other more. I work in a pub so have been off work furloughed since January, and from then we've been talking more, every other day, sometimes every day. We've also been meeting up and walking every week for the past 3 months, just me and him. We've also been making plans for future trips further away. He seems genuinley interested in what I have to say and we get along great. I have just left a relationship, a marriage, which has been so stressfull, so I dont know if he's holding back because of this, because he's my boss, or because he thinks of me just as a friend. Friends I have spoken to all think he likes me more, and I think he might do. Some of the things he says, the way he treats me differently, offers to help me with anything and everything he can. So is there a guy on here that can give me your thoughts from a mans point of view, or girls, your views will be just as important. I like him alot, in fact, I like him more than a friend. I don't want to ruin it by telling him if he doesn't think that way. Please give me some advice 🙏🙏

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Loulou0086 said:

he is my boss. . I have just left a relationship, a marriage, which has been so stressful.

Unfortunately, there are at least 2 red flags right here.  Take time to regroup. Are you legally divorce or still living with your ex?

It's ok to have friends, go for walks, etc., but be careful to latch on to the first guy who comes along. Make sure you are not telling him all about your ex, etc. 

[Loulou0086]

My ex and I live seperatley now and will be going through divorce proceedings soon. My friend knows that it's happening, he has never asked why though and I have never told him (as in why we split up). We never talk about it

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Loulou0086 said:

will be going through divorce proceedings soon. My friend knows that it's happening

Ok, he's smart to distance himself as much as possible. He's being a good friend  listening to your marriage/divorce problems.

But... no one wants to be a rebound or worse, date someone in the throes of divorce.  Hang out more wit friends and family.

Not employers. Even though you're lonely, don't make the mistake of latching onto anyone who'll listen.

 If you want to date try dating apps. Lots of people, like you, separated and trying out dating again.

[glows]

Loulou, who is initiating these hang outs or walks? Is he single or married? Don't date colleagues or bosses. There are too many reasons to avoid this. Think of your mental wellbeing and avoid it altogether.

It's good that you have someone to go with but this stressful period will pass with more time. Newly divorced here and I can relate to your situation. One thing I am so thankful I did not do was discuss the details of the divorce with anyone except the lawyer. There was also someone close to me whom I was able to talk with on a more personal level (ex colleagues, no longer colleagues) and he was very frank with me that I was vulnerable. I look back now and he couldn't have been more truthful about the matter. 

I spent most of my time questioning what I liked to do. You may be wondering a lot of things outside of the marriage breakdown. I actually forgot what I liked to do in the marriage. Would you believe that? Or it was latent/dormant information that I had to unearth like some sunken treasure all over again after some time and blow the dust off. As nerve-wrecking as it is and daunting, take that time to yourself and get reacquainted with the new you.

Go out for walks, check out new patisseries and cafes, try a new dish at home, plant something new or a plant you've never seen before in your garden. In January I took in orchids on a sale rack of a garden center. That was a challenge. If you like challenges, challenge yourself! Press time out on dating for awhile, appreciate those who are there for you but don't overdo it. Not everyone is the same so go at your own pace. 

 

 

Edited April 12, 2021 by glows