Jimmy17 Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 I'm sure this has probably been posted before but there's this girl that I saw on instagram who's from the same background and religion as me who I want to start talking to and maybe move into something. I'm hesitant in messaging her cause probably ever other guy has done the same so I'm scared of just saying hi and getting nothing no response cause that is kinda boring. I'm thinking of saying hey bareeduu (which means beautiful in our language) or saying "I'm finally here, sorry I took so long" in which she might say what are you talking about and I'll say "I'm here to change your life" kinda cringe, I know hahaha. But if anyone has any advice or anything I could say, I'm open to any suggestions. Thanks in advance!
Sun Seeker Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 No do not send that cringe line. Find something in one of her photos that interests you, and ask her a question about it. 4
Author Jimmy17 Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 37 minutes ago, Punterxx said: Find something in one of her photos that interests you there really isnt anything interesting. theres some mirror selfies, looks like shes been to a few weddings, and pictures of when shes out. Note: her profile is on public and i havent followed her yet. i was thinking of following her and then sending her a message or should i follow now and message in a few days
Wiseman2 Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 Just comment respectfully and politely on one of her posts, etc. Do not use cheesy pickup lines. She'll just think you're a scammer or creep and block you.. See what you have in common and start off with polite small talk.
Author Jimmy17 Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: See what you have in common and start off with polite small talk im just afraid ill get no answer cause why should she reply to me? i may have come up with something tho. she has some line about french fries in her bio. what if i message her "Did you know that the first ever French Fry wasn’t cooked in France? It was cooked in Greece"
ShyViolet Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 Don't message her cheesy and cringey pickup lines, unless you want her to ignore your messages and block you right away. You could try just talking to her respectfully like a normal person, and getting to know her. 3
dramafreezone Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) I don't advise ever reaching out to someone on IG, I prefer to meet in person. If you are dead set on it though, I would just say hi, introduce yourself, maybe comment on something on her IG page and then ask if you can call her sometime. Don't trot out some schtick or routine, that's weak and comes across as being a tryhard. You don't have to be an entertainer, a comedian, or juggle balls to try to impress her. She either likes what she sees or she doesn't. Nothing you say is going to make her like you more if she already doesn't. Edited April 9, 2021 by dramafreezone
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 Leave her alone. Unless you can figure out a way to be introduced to her by a mutual acquaintance, you will just come off as creepy.
glows Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) The french fry thing is kind of cute. You're a bit hooked on her without even knowing her? Take everything with a pinch of salt. Like Dramafree says, she either likes what she sees or doesn't. It will be okay no matter what happens. Edited April 9, 2021 by glows 1
Crazelnut Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 No no no. Don't call her Beautiful. Don't use a pickup line. Don't tell her a stupid joke. Why not just leave a message in your shared language about a shared interest? If you don't know if you have any shared interests, just leave her alone. 1
dramafreezone Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 5 hours ago, Jimmy17 said: im just afraid ill get no answer cause why should she reply to me? i may have come up with something tho. she has some line about french fries in her bio. what if i message her "Did you know that the first ever French Fry wasn’t cooked in France? It was cooked in Greece" You have to understand that again, she either likes what she sees or she doesn't. What a pickup line, schtick, or routine implies that you're not enough (and you've pretty much said that with the "why should she reply to me" )so you think you have to do something extra to imprint on her mind, as if that's how it works. In fact, she could like what she sees, and a cheesy line will actually change her mind and lower her interest. You could have the best joke, pickup line, whatever, if she looks at your picture and says no way, you don't have a shot. I don't think any woman's ever said, "oh wow, that was such a good line, I didn't think he was hot before but now he is." 1
Alpacalia Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 6 hours ago, Jimmy17 said: im just afraid ill get no answer cause why should she reply to me? i may have come up with something tho. she has some line about french fries in her bio. what if i message her "Did you know that the first ever French Fry wasn’t cooked in France? It was cooked in Greece" It's very cute but coming from a complete stranger, that's a toughie. (french fry was born in Belgium because of their love of fried fish, I googled).
Author Jimmy17 Posted April 14, 2021 Author Posted April 14, 2021 Hey guys. so ive told my sisters and cousins about her and turns out, they dont know her as well so meeting through a mutual person is unlikely. ive thought of messaging her cousin which she has posted of them two together and getting to know him and then getting introduced to her through him. thats option 1 and option 2 is just messaging her. ive come up with this, let me know if it can be improved in anyway. "Hey. I know this is really random and I really didn’t want to message you online, would’ve much rather talked to you in person but I don’t think ive ever seen you, even though we’re both (same ethnicity) and live in the same city Im interested in getting to know you so, if its okay with you, would you be open to it? " 1
d0nnivain Posted April 14, 2021 Posted April 14, 2021 Don't message her guy cousin & befriend him just to get to her. That's disingenuous toward the cousin. Keep casting about in search of a friend of a friend who can introduce you. Think 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon. 1
princessaurora Posted April 14, 2021 Posted April 14, 2021 Like others have said, you need to find something to comment on in her pics. If she's attracted and available, she'll respond and you can go from there. Women get so much "hey beautiful" on SM all we do are roll our eyes at it. Find something to comment on. It could be as simple as a necklace she's wearing or the location she's at. Leave the jokes aside for now. My friend tagged a throwback pic of a concert a few days ago online and it started a convo about our favorite songs by that band. I listed one of mine and one of her friends commented he liked that one too.Then he asked me what other ones I like. He could just be making convo or he could be interested, but being I'm married that's irrelevant. But he still made contact without seeming like a creeper and if I was single and interested I could have given him the green light to keep engaging with me. This is what you need to do. Something very subtle that does not scream pick up line. If she's interested she'll engage you. 1
Crazelnut Posted April 14, 2021 Posted April 14, 2021 So far, OP, all your suggestions have been lame, creepy, or borderline stalker-ish. Do NOT go make friends with her friends & family just to meet her. If you can't get her to respond to legit comment or message about a shared interest, just drop it. Anything else is creepy. 2
Wiseman2 Posted April 14, 2021 Posted April 14, 2021 (edited) 49 minutes ago, Crazelnut said: So far, OP, all your suggestions have been lame, creepy, or borderline stalker-ish. Agree. You seem to be going in circles trying to come up with creepy pickup lines. Relax, start with liking a post or comment. Edited April 14, 2021 by Wiseman2
Alpacalia Posted April 14, 2021 Posted April 14, 2021 1 hour ago, Crazelnut said: So far, OP, all your suggestions have been lame, creepy, or borderline stalker-ish. Do NOT go make friends with her friends & family just to meet her. If you can't get her to respond to legit comment or message about a shared interest, just drop it. Anything else is creepy. Agreed. People receive friend requests and it shows they have a mutual acquaintance but if they ask their friend/family member if they know so and so, they so "no" then chances are it will just get deleted.
Stupidkupid Posted April 14, 2021 Posted April 14, 2021 My advice is just don't. Comment something on one of her pictures, try not to be weird, and keep it out of the DMs. FYI I met my partner on a social nedia platform years ago and we made friends out in the open on there, occassionally chatting about shared interests and it was me who private mesaaged first (and it was to ask a work question). Personally I wouldn't have responded well to a DM approach from the get go 1
Author Jimmy17 Posted April 16, 2021 Author Posted April 16, 2021 all the comments on her posts are 100% girls. itll be weird if i (a random guy) said something. i think the only option ive got is to comment on something when she puts up a story or dm her something about one of her pictures. pretty sure the picture will be attached to it
Sun Seeker Posted April 16, 2021 Posted April 16, 2021 34 minutes ago, Jimmy17 said: all the comments on her posts are 100% girls. itll be weird if i (a random guy) said something. i think the only option ive got is to comment on something when she puts up a story or dm her something about one of her pictures. pretty sure the picture will be attached to it 7 days later and you still have not messaged her? That's 7 days you have let pass where someone else with a bit more confidence has already messaged her, maybe even already arranged a date and gone on it. I can see you do not have much experience with girls, and that's fine we all start somewhere. Stop with the dilly dallying, asking everyone what to do, trying to come up with some long complicated message, and just send her a simple message! Not overthinking the first contact is the first step to having the confidence to approach and talk to women.
Author Jimmy17 Posted April 16, 2021 Author Posted April 16, 2021 1 minute ago, Punterxx said: 7 days later and you still have not messaged her? Havent messaged her yet for religious reasons (we're both muslim and its ramadan). thinking of messaging her a week after it finishes 1
smackie9 Posted April 16, 2021 Posted April 16, 2021 Keep it simple and be yourself. If you don't have any experience being a player then don't do it. It's like getting into a plane and not know how to fly it.
Author Jimmy17 Posted April 16, 2021 Author Posted April 16, 2021 1 minute ago, smackie9 said: If you don't have any experience its not that i dont have any experience, i usually talk to girls in person first which id rather do. since i have no option but to message this girl online (we have no mutuals and never seen her), i just need her to reply and ill be fine after that. my problem is getting her to reply cause the girls i work with say this guy messaged me or this guy replied to my story and they seem to not like it and my ex told me to never be one of those guys who jumps into girls dms cause they just dont like it. theyd rather talk in person first than a random message from a random guy
smackie9 Posted April 16, 2021 Posted April 16, 2021 Well then you are shooting for something that has a low chance of return. Waste of time.
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