Heartbreak.

[rudiger]

What's the best way to heal a broken heart please?

When we were together I didn't think I was in love with her. I didn't think I was the type to fall in love easily. Always saying how much she loved me and will always love me. But I didn't take the word "love" seriously, as I didn't believe in love. But I always used to say "I love you too". Without actually knowing if I was actually in love or not.

And then about one week ago all of a sudden she completely disappeared from my life out of nowhere.

she completely cut me off for no reason after months and months of us always being together.

That the the pain hit me like a ton of bricks. The heart wrenching pain I feel was something I did not intend on experiencing. At night time I find it hard to sleep being alone with my thoughts in a dark room that it makes the pain unbearable. :/

I'd rather someone punch me in the face and give me a bleeding nose than to have to go through such emotional anguish.

At least the physical pain disappears. :/

I didn't even think I was truly in love with her until she actually disappeared from my life and I realised from this pain that I did actually love her.

I feel lost, confused and severely hurt. I don't know what to do to get over this pain, we were always together for months that to have her suddenly ripped away from my life like this feels like the wings of a butterfly being ripped off. :/

[Sun Seeker]

Time is the only thing that can help.

I'm confused though surely she must have said something and given some sort of reason for wanting to end things?

[d0nnivain]

Time heals all wounds as they say.  

You can do some things to help yourself. 

1.  Grieve.  It is OK to be upset in the immediate aftermath.  Cry.  Vent.  Let it out.  But do all that in private.  You can wallow for a little while, maybe through the weekend but you have to move forward after that. 

2.  Purge.  Get rid of all the mementos.  If you can't bring yourself to throw out the stuff or delete the photos, save the digital stuff to a thumb drive & put everything in a box.  Tape the box closed -- I mean really go to town like you have OCD.  Make it a p.i.t.a. to open.  Stuff the box in the attic or the back of your deepest closet. 

3.  Change things up.  Redecorate.  Get new sheets.  Take a different route to work or use  a new coffee shop / grocery.  Get your hair cut. 

4.  Keep busy.  Dive into work or school.  Pick up a part time job.  Get back into an old hobby or start a new one.  

5.  Surround yourself with supportive friends & family, even if it's only on Zoom

6.  Move / exercise.  Exercise releases endorphins.  You need sunshine on your face  It really does help

[rudiger]

6 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

Time heals all wounds as they say.  

You can do some things to help yourself. 

1.  Grieve.  It is OK to be upset in the immediate aftermath.  Cry.  Vent.  Let it out.  But do all that in private.  You can wallow for a little while, maybe through the weekend but you have to move forward after that. 

2.  Purge.  Get rid of all the mementos.  If you can't bring yourself to throw out the stuff or delete the photos, save the digital stuff to a thumb drive & put everything in a box.  Tape the box closed -- I mean really go to town like you have OCD.  Make it a p.i.t.a. to open.  Stuff the box in the attic or the back of your deepest closet. 

3.  Change things up.  Redecorate.  Get new sheets.  Take a different route to work or use  a new coffee shop / grocery.  Get your hair cut. 

4.  Keep busy.  Dive into work or school.  Pick up a part time job.  Get back into an old hobby or start a new one.  

5.  Surround yourself with supportive friends & family, even if it's only on Zoom

6.  Move / exercise.  Exercise releases endorphins.  You need sunshine on your face  It really does help

Thank you. This is great advice. I will take it on board.

[smackie9]

Nothing works better than a getting a new wardrobe to attract the ladies.... dressing for success puts the confidence back into your swagger.

[SaraSays]

No 2 breakups are the same, and I am sorry you're hurting. It'd help to have a bit of the history of the relationship, if you'd really like substantive guidance.

How old are you both? How long was the relationship? Did you live together? How did you meet? How much time did you spend together in-person typically each week? Are you still in touch?

[ShyViolet]

I don't understand why you didn't feel like you loved her while you were together, and this intense love for her only started once she broke up with you.  Your flip-flopping and indecisiveness about your feelings for her wasn't fair to her, and I'm sure she sensed it.  She wasn't willing to be with someone who didn't show her the same feelings that she felt for them.  As we experience different relationships we learn about ourselves and about love in general.  You'll heal and grow from this.