Versacehottie Posted April 8, 2021 Posted April 8, 2021 14 minutes ago, Starrs said: you’re right... he txted me a couple minutes ago and said “you better look good for me this weekend”. what do i say back? What about not responding? He's toying with you and treating you disrespectfully. This is a command vs how a normal guy who is trying to win your affection and good attention. No response and block is what I would do. There's nothing good with him. And you need to work on yourself. 3
ExpatInItaly Posted April 8, 2021 Posted April 8, 2021 3 hours ago, Starrs said: he was already naked and he showed me his thing too. i had no choice but to show him mine. i really like him that’s the problem. This is not true. You always have a choice. Ignore this dude. He's no prize and he treats you poorly. 3
Wiseman2 Posted April 8, 2021 Posted April 8, 2021 23 minutes ago, Starrs said: he txted me a couple minutes ago and said “you better look good for me this weekend”. what do i say back? It's not a question so needs no response. Just say, "you too".
Taramere Posted April 8, 2021 Posted April 8, 2021 43 minutes ago, Starrs said: you’re right... he txted me a couple minutes ago and said “you better look good for me this weekend”. what do i say back? What do you think would be the best response? How does it make you feel when he says things like that? 2
Author Starrs Posted April 8, 2021 Author Posted April 8, 2021 1 hour ago, Versacehottie said: What about not responding? He's toying with you and treating you disrespectfully. This is a command vs how a normal guy who is trying to win your affection and good attention. No response and block is what I would do. There's nothing good with him. And you need to work on yourself. i am most definitely working on myself, he said i can text him whenever... why would he tell me that? he doesn’t start conversations
Author Starrs Posted April 8, 2021 Author Posted April 8, 2021 27 minutes ago, Taramere said: What do you think would be the best response? How does it make you feel when he says things like that? i said “you too” he said i can text him anytime but he doesn’t initiate? is he waiting for me to chase him?
Author Starrs Posted April 8, 2021 Author Posted April 8, 2021 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: It's not a question so needs no response. Just say, "you too". i said that back to him.... 1
d0nnivain Posted April 8, 2021 Posted April 8, 2021 28 minutes ago, Starrs said: i said “you too” he said i can text him anytime but he doesn’t initiate? is he waiting for me to chase him? he will always do the least amount he has to in order for you to do sexual things for him. He does not care about you 3
MsJayne Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, Starrs said: he was already naked on the video call and he showed me his penis and said it needs me. This tool, (pardon the pun), has zero interest in you other than sex. He has no respect for women, he couldn't care less if his behaviour causes you distress given your condition, and if you keep going with him you may well end up with your pictures plastered all over some sleazy website. He sounds like he'd plonk a goat if there was no willing female around. Focus on taking care of your health and learning to cope with your BPD, and avoid creeps like him. You might be surprised how your mood swings decrease if you stop associating with abusive people. Also, leaving you on "read" for 4 days tells you everything you need to know about how he feels towards you. It's not because you blew up his 'phone, it's because you mean nothing to him. Edited April 9, 2021 by MsJayne 5
Author Starrs Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 1 hour ago, MsJayne said: This tool, (pardon the pun), has zero interest in you other than sex. He has no respect for women, he couldn't care less if his behaviour causes you distress given your condition, and if you keep going with him you may well end up with your pictures plastered all over some sleazy website. He sounds like he'd plonk a goat if there was no willing female around. Focus on taking care of your health and learning to cope with your BPD, and avoid creeps like him. You might be surprised how your mood swings decrease if you stop associating with abusive people. Also, leaving you on "read" for 4 days tells you everything you need to know about how he feels towards you. It's not because you blew up his 'phone, it's because you mean nothing to him. he took a screenshot of my body on video call and showed it to me. he does not care for me he stopped caring before valentine’s day.
MsJayne Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 37 minutes ago, Starrs said: he took a screenshot of my body on video call and showed it to me. he does not care for me he stopped caring before valentine’s day. I'm not sure whether there's anything you can do about that unless he actually publishes it, but maybe learn from the experience and don't ever allow any guy to coerce you into going along with their sexual demands. No guy who cares about you would do that, always keep that in mind. 2
Angelle Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) 8 hours ago, Starrs said: you’re right... he txted me a couple minutes ago and said “you better look good for me this weekend”. what do i say back? Oh, I know what I would say, but some of it would be blocked out by asterisks here. I would tell him that you aren't available after all. He yelled at you for texting him a lot? He doesn't sound mature, at all. Edited April 9, 2021 by Angelle 2
Taramere Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) 11 hours ago, Starrs said: i said “you too” he said i can text him anytime but he doesn’t initiate? is he waiting for me to chase him? He might be, and if he is then we can add laziness and apathy to an already not insubstantial list of flaws in this guy. You might have BPD, but the fact that you are getting treatment for it demonstrates that you are working on improving your life (emphasis on "you working" because getting treatment for any sort of emotional disorder isn't a passive thing...it will require a lot of work and engagement on your part). What's he doing, apart from sitting around trying to boost his ego at your expense? If you want an honest opinion, I don't think this guy sounds like the sharpest tool in the box. His banter sounds weak as well as insulting. Where's the fun in any of it for you? Would you not be as well exchanging banter with a slug, as you would with a guy who come out with crass comments about his penis needing you? Next time he comes out with a "you'd better look good for me" comment, I suggest you answer along the lines of "don't you worry...I always take good care of myself and my appearance. The more pressing issue here is whether you have any plans to improve yourself to make it worth my time and effort in turning up." Edited April 9, 2021 by Taramere 3
Wiseman2 Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 Ok. Good answer to him. I think you already know he's sexting to facilitate a hookup. That's fine. However if you want an exclusive dating situation or a relationship, this is not how a guy who also wants that acts. Stop sending nudes . What if he forwards it to his friends or posts it online somewhere? 2
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 17 hours ago, Starrs said: he took a screenshot of my body on video call and showed it to me. he does not care for me he stopped caring before valentine’s day. You have to assume he showed all his buddy's too. This is not a nice person. Block him already. 1
Author Starrs Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 39 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: You have to assume he showed all his buddy's too. This is not a nice person. Block him already. i guess he did, i’m meeting him tomorrow. but thing is we always kiss and do things that i don’t want to do. what is the nicest way i can tell him i don’t feel comfortable kissing him when we’re not dating. friends don’t kiss.
Wiseman2 Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 Just now, Starrs said: we always kiss and do things that i don’t want to do. Stop chasing after him so hard.
d0nnivain Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Starrs said: i guess he did, i’m meeting him tomorrow. but thing is we always kiss and do things that i don’t want to do. what is the nicest way i can tell him i don’t feel comfortable kissing him when we’re not dating. friends don’t kiss. There is no "nice" way. Why do you want to be nice to him? He's not being nice to you. He's being a jerk You need to get stronger. Do not meet him. You don't have the strength to not cave to his demands when you see him so cancel. When you cancel tell him that he's too pushy, he's not caring enough about you & that you feel like he is only using you for sex. You wanted to be his friend but he's not being a friend to you so you would rather be done. Also educate yourself about the revenge porn laws in your area. I have a feeling he's going to post those x-rated pictures of you on line. Edited April 9, 2021 by d0nnivain 2
jspice Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Starrs said: i guess he did, i’m meeting him tomorrow. but thing is we always kiss and do things that i don’t want to do. what is the nicest way i can tell him i don’t feel comfortable kissing him when we’re not dating. friends don’t kiss. Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy are you meeting him? Are you kidding?? 3
BaileyB Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 1 hour ago, Starrs said: friends don’t kiss. Ex’s don’t meet as “friends.”
Author Starrs Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 27 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Ex’s don’t meet as “friends.” we only dated for 2 months it wasn’t even serious
Author Starrs Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 21 minutes ago, MsJayne said: 45 minutes ago, jspice said: Whhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy are you meeting him? Are you kidding?? UPDATE: He told me he wants to talk things out. that’s why i’m meeting him
Author Starrs Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 2 hours ago, d0nnivain said: There is no "nice" way. Why do you want to be nice to him? He's not being nice to you. He's being a jerk You need to get stronger. Do not meet him. You don't have the strength to not cave to his demands when you see him so cancel. When you cancel tell him that he's too pushy, he's not caring enough about you & that you feel like he is only using you for sex. You wanted to be his friend but he's not being a friend to you so you would rather be done. Also educate yourself about the revenge porn laws in your area. I have a feeling he's going to post those x-rated pictures of you on line. i completely agree with you, but thing is he said he wants to talk things out. if anything goes wrong i’m getting the cops involved. i don’t want to harm anyone, i have a clean record.
Author Starrs Posted April 9, 2021 Author Posted April 9, 2021 2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Stop chasing after him so hard. yes, you’re right I most definitely need to stop. I am trying I do feel better about this but i’m not 100 yet. 1
Alpacalia Posted April 9, 2021 Posted April 9, 2021 He is taking advantage of you sexually. An object to exploit. The way this guy is talking to you is complete trash. 2
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